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Movie Club against depression

Old 09-03-2003, 05:50 PM
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Nancy, I love the runes.

I´m of French/scandinavian origin and know the runes very well indeed. I look at them regularily when I have a question and sometimes the answers reveal themselves. It´s my subconscience really, which is my wise self providing answers. They do have power.

So how is everyone in the movie club? What have you been watching? I know it´s been the Labour weekend in the US. I hope you had a good weekend and watched good stuff.

I´m watching "Raise the Red Lantern" again. I love Chinese movies. This one is excellent.

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Old 09-04-2003, 03:37 AM
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Re: movies

Dear Lilya and all movie watchers:

I must confess all I watched was the movie "Unfaithful" with Richard Gere. The way the murder scene as it happens in the movie is so close to the way my assault happened, in almost every way, except for the motive (I had only spoken words that made my assailant angry, was not unfaithful), and that I was hit in the nose instead of the forehead, and I did not die, but the sudden terrible blow to the front of the head with a hard object and the way the blood just began to gus, and the reality of a blow like that to the head, any part of the head, being a potentially mortal wound -- all my stuff was triggered. But I think it is good, since it may wake me up to the fact that I am far from finished with therapy on this thing. I came within literally an inch of being murdered. I keep wanting to just forget it, but I can't. And I don't think I will, and I will need therapy all my life, I think. I don't think you get over something like that. My poor family is tired of hearing it, and I need someone private to talk to. But I don't know who specializes in this field of PTSD. The only doctor I knew who specialized in it was his doctor. When I called him to ask him if he knew anybody else I could go see, knowing I could not see him, he did not return my call. I never knew I had it until this. Maybe today I will call MUSC and see if they have any ideas. I still want to go to my pscychiatrist, but I want to go to a counselor for PTSD, too, and see if I can stop talking about this except in therapy or here and stop burdening my poor family with it.

Well, I must concentrate on my kids and my job just for today. I know I told all here, but my goal is to stop talking so much otherwise, in my routine, daily life. My biggest PTSD symptom is this constant, compulsive talking.

Have a good day in recovery. Things will be ok.

Love,
Nancy
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Old 09-04-2003, 07:01 PM
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Dear Nancy,

This is a horrible story!

I also saw "Unfaithful" and quite liked it, although I preferred "Nine and a half week". It reminded me of my story with one of my fiancés. But what you told is very serious and bound to leave you traumatized. You will probably benefit from counseling with a specialist in Post Traumatic Stress Syndrom. In France, many people have benefited from hypnosis.

When I was fifteen I went all over Europe hitch-hiking. I got stabbed in Athenes and when I took the train back from Athenes through Yougoslavia it was horrible. Men tried to rape me many times, but I fought back. I had a knife on me for protection. I also got into heaps of trouble in East Berlin. Arrest, police brutality, jail cells and people as crazy as I was. These memories stayed with me very vividly, but when I straightened out, the memories no longer bothered me. They seem to belong the the troubled youth I was and sometimes I don´t feel I´m the same person.

Sometimes when I see action movies, like "Crouching Tiger" by Ang Lee, I see myself fighting these men back, but it´s a good feeling now. Maybe some of these movies help us to heal. I like to think so and I certainly hope it works for you too, Nancy. Seeing the film was a big step and here is big a cyberhug from me.

I hope sharing my warstory helped you a little bit. Remember that you´re a survivor.



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Old 09-04-2003, 08:31 PM
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I agree

Dear Lilya,

I agree. The movies do help us work through stuff we would otherwise just keep stuffed, buried and repressed. They bring the stuff to the surface where it can be seen more clearly and dealt with more effectively. Thanks for your caring.

I keep cycling around and around thinking one minute the healing will come from forgiving the assailant and forgetting, and then not being able to and trying instead to work it out...cycles are very natural and I am not afraid of them. They will eventually lead to clarity, I think.

keeping on another day...

Love,
Nancy
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Old 09-05-2003, 05:52 PM
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Nancy, you inspired me to watch "Unfaithful" again. I work at the Cinéma archive, so I can watch what I like on DVD, video and the greatest: In a screening hall. I watched it in my lunch break with someone at work.

How can one expect to live always with the same person? I find it virtually impossible. My ex-husband and I talked often of seeing other people for fun and at one point in our relationship we did that. This went on well for sometime, then we went for more closeness. Human nature is bound to be like this! How can it be otherwise?

One fabulous (and depressing) Bergman-movie is about this delicate subject. Three people meet on a tiny island and the wife falls in love. I can´t remember the title but you can find it in the Internet Movie data base. (Imdb.com)

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Old 09-05-2003, 07:27 PM
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Re: unfaithful

Dear Lilya,

I found the movie very groundbreaking in the area of looking at a side of human nature that we often refuse to see and instead deny -- the reality of the fact that infidelity and murder are human and that they are not uncommon. I thought the movie realistically portrayed the fact that while these are human and common behaviors, they often? always? have real consequences that might make us want to think twice about the behaviors, certainly about repeating them...what do you think?
That was my experience...that the consequences are too costly for the small amounty of pleasure experienced...I was not unfaithful to the boyfriend that assaulted me...although I was tempted to be a couple of times when I thought he was -- I was tempted to retaliate, but realized, from the memory of long ago, when I was unfaithful to my ex-husband, some eighteen years ago, the first three years of our twenty-three year marriage, that the price was too high when I remembered the high price I paid then...my ex never did forgive me. He stayed with me for twenty-three years, he says for the sake of the kids, and punished me for the seventeen years that I was faithful after I stopped the behavior after deciding it caused too much pain...by treating me with no regard often and much anger...and by finally abandoning me, all the while using my former unfaithfulness as a poor excuse, I think, since that is what he has said...

to date I have never committed murder...but humbly know that I am capable of it...and also know that I pray that I never act on it because the horrible guilt and pain afterwards would torment me horribly...which I thought the movie did a good job of reflecting...art refelcting life, as it is defined to do...

yes, a very real issue.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Today all I did was work and cater to the kids, not that those are not lovely things, but did not watch a movie yet. However, tomorrow is Saturday -- movie day around here! Hope to finally watch an Ingmar Bergman!

Take care,
Love,
Nancy
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Old 09-08-2003, 05:31 PM
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I agree. Thankfully I´m an old spinster now and not likely to start anything so exhausting as a love affair, thank God! A film that might interest you after "Unfaithful" is "Streetcar Named Desire" by Eliah Kaasan with none other than Vivian Leigh and the too gorgeous Marlon Brando. My God, what looks! What a male! He is tops. Anyway, I was watching to before falling asleep yesterday and it´s such a classic.

I belong to a movie group with women I know from the theatre. We go and see ground-breaking films at least once a month and then have hard discussions afterwards. Bergman is defiantely a topic, and also the new films that portray relationships. I recommend "La Pianiste" by Haneke, an Austrian film, but in French with Isabelle Huppert and Benoît Magimel. Rarely have I seen such portrayal of total lunacy, but what interests me is the eternal darkness seeking the light; the unhealthy seeking the healthy. The movie is about a brilliand pianist, a woman in her forties who lives with her mother and even sleeps in the same bed with her. They share a definately unhealthy relationship and the pianist is totally frozen sexually. After each masterclass she goes to sex-clubs to satisfy her sexual hunger. She meets a young, brilliant student who comes to her masterclass and thus begins the sordid, but powerful tale. It came out in the year 2000 in France and was the talk of the town. If you like classical music, it´s marvellous. I´ve recommended it before.

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Old 09-09-2003, 03:43 PM
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Lilya,

You just mentioned one of my favorites, "Streecar Named Desire." I grew up on that film, imitating Viven Leigh as Blanch, "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers," and MB hollering "Stella, Stella, Stella." LOL

I am spending a lazy afternoon today in my PJ's catching up on all the posts. There has been alot going on here since I've been away.

Last week I saw the movie "Waking Ned Devine." I don't know if anyone else has seen it, but it takes place in this very small village in Ireland, where one of the residents has won a huge lottery, but hasn't come forward to collect so all the others are wondering who it is. Two of the main characters, older gentlemen, make it their personal mission to find out who it is. They do, but the shock of learning what he won caused the poor old man to have a heart attack. There are many funny twists and turns as these two guys go about posing as the dead man to collect the money and share it with the town.

Ohpelia, welcome to the forum and thank you for a great list. Don, I'm glad to see you here too.

I really enjoy this thread about movies, and was thinking it would be good to do books and music too, or do you all think that would be too much. I myself am an avid reader.

Nancy, I'm not too familiar with Tori Amos, but I am going to look her up and listen to her now that you've mentioned her. I like jazz, reggae, rock, hip-hop, Ska, Classical, pretty much everything in the music department.

I remember when I was little my mother had a recording of Peter and the Wolf and would play it for us. I loved it, but it used to scare me too.

I'm really happy to be back.

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Old 09-09-2003, 03:47 PM
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Juls~ I really enjoyed the movie "Waking Ned Devine..been a few years since I seen it.
I would enjoy a reading thread too...Reading is my favorite pastime, and one of my favorite scents ever is the smell of old books, my husband says he gets the biggest kick outta watching me sniff at the books I am reading! LOL!! I must look like a moron, but that's okay!
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Old 09-09-2003, 09:00 PM
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Hi, Juls and all

Hey Juls and all,

Streetcar...read the play in Southern Literature class. Also watched the movie with Vivien in it. Vivien has a very interesting biography, which illustrates manic depression realistically. I love Streetcar for it's exposure of how women throughout history have literally been disposed of by throwing them into the looney bin for trumped up charges of insanity for being sexual -- and note the irony of her sexuality being exploited first via the rape. Use and throw away. I like this kind of art that is real art -- art reflecting life...ugly reflections of real life that expose what society would like for us to file away in our mental file cabinet labelled anything but what it really is...rah, rah realism...

Love,
Nancy
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Old 09-10-2003, 05:54 AM
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This is sadly true, Nancy.

American playwrites from that time were fascinated by women´s sexuality and insanity versus love, which was a preromantic notion in literature like "Tristan and Isolde". You can see that clearly in Tennessee Williams´"Suddenly Last Summer" . The character played by Elizabeth Taylor is insane and her insanity was brought on by rape as well. The doctor gives her a "truthdrug" and she tells all about her cousin´s homosexuality and debauchery that killed him in the end. Note the marvellous character played by Katherine Hepburn, God rest her soul. What an actress!

In Streetcar, Blanche Dubois is desire/insanity/death reincarnated. She is thrown away by Marlon (What a man glorious looking man though!!!Stella!!!LOL) but she gets up and goes on seducing "strangers", as she is escorted out by the psychiatrist. Good for her. Another film that explores Streetcar is "All about my mother" by Pedro AlmodovÃ*r. Lord, I cried when I saw that film...



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Old 09-10-2003, 11:44 AM
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Any of ya all seen Catch Me If You can? I absolutely loved it. It's a true story about a guy who passed himself off as a true master of deception...he "became" a pilot, a lawyer and a doctor..before he was 21. I love Leonardo diCaprio and Christopher Walken in it..of course I love Walken in ANY movie..... I just came across it as I was packing and plan on watching it tonight to help me relax a bit!
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Old 09-10-2003, 08:21 PM
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I liked "Catch me if you can" too. I went and got the book afterwards. Christopher Walken is good at being a creepy character. (Remember Blue Velvet, phhhhhhhh, the inhaler thing).

I will start a book thread, reading really helps me with my doldrums. Right now I am re-reading "The English Patient." Good movie, good book.

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Old 09-13-2003, 06:06 PM
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I loved "The English Patient" and I loved "Blue Velvet"! Poor Juliette Binoche, everyone in France is against her because she achieved international fame, so people here didn´t take "The English Patient" too kindly. But I like Juliette and I adored Isabella Rossellini in Velvet. What a daring role!

I´m watching a very disturbing film at the moment. Does anyone remember "Bad Timing" with Theresa Russell and Art Garfunkel? I found that film in the archives and wanted to review some of my favourite Nicholas Roeg movies. I watched "Bad Timing" first when I had just begun my sobriety and found it almost impossible to watch. The characters are so unsympathetic and the film quite confusing from editing point of view. I could watch it now calmly and feel sorry for the lovers, because it´s quite a love story - on drugs. My God, it shows how disgusting life on booze can be and how it makes any conncection unbearable! A good warning, if anyone should ever need one.

Yet another film to watch if you´re very depressed, people!:shades: Almost beats Ingmar Bergman, but not quite...






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Old 09-14-2003, 05:46 AM
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My God, it shows how disgusting life on booze can be and how it makes any connection unbearable!

Sometimes what I read on these boards hits me right between the eyes.....
Wow, Lilya, that says it all. For me that is the pain of addiction.

Thanks 2stop. Got Catch Me if you Can. What a fun film.
~fondly,
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Old 09-14-2003, 06:19 AM
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I´m glad it spoke to you, Mamabear. That´s how the program works. We learn from each other, and movies speak to us.

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Old 09-14-2003, 03:02 PM
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on movies this weekend...

Well, folks, hello...

I shopped for shoes and walked around town and the waterfront park by the river. I went into the Gibbes Art Gallery and saw the Andy Warhol exhibit, and I went into the Smith Killian Art Gallery on Queen St. on my way to the park. I found out it is operated by a lady who had triplets. The whole family and some friends do art and show there. Affirmative! I watched "The Grand Canyon," "Stand and Deliver" and The YA YA Sisterhood." I enjoyed them all. Caught them on sale at the store that didn't have any Bergman. I still haven't found any Bergman yet, but that makes it more interesting. A treasure hunt. Meanwhile, these movies were good. "The Grand Canyon" theme is about how our lives are so small in comparison to the "Grand" scheme of things. The young boy who is coming of age in the film reminded me of my son, Billy. Our relationship is like that -- real good, but he has got to have his own life, and I let him. Then, the "Stand and Deliver" is because I like movies about triumphs in teaching. I also liked "Dangerous Minds" a few years ago. I have read the movie this one is based on entitled "Escalante," after the last name of the hero of the book. It is a good one -- it has Lou Diamond Phillips, who, by the way, looks like my son, but not as good looking as my son. Forgive me for the obsessing over the son, but, give me a break -- he just moved out. I am dealing with it beautifully, but I am allowed to be nostalgic...I think. "YaYa" was not at all what I expected. I thought it was going to be very light and funny and playful. It was in ways, but it was very sad...it is so sad when people have everything life has to offer right in front of their eyes but are tormented over what they don't have, isn't it? I also think it is so sad when people can't enjoy their children and see them as burdens instead of jewels and joys...But it is every bit as good as they told me and more because it IS so realistic...art reflecting life...excellent acting. And Ellen Berstein sp? is probably my favorite actress in the whole world. Sending love your way, Ellen! Anyway, another weekend has passed too quickly. I'll just have to keep watching movies during the week, too...this is fun. Thanks for the idea and the energy flow of: "The Movie Club."

Love to all,
Nancy
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Old 09-15-2003, 05:50 PM
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You´re doing great, Nancy!

I love your energy. These are wonderful activities and you seem to enjoy them so much. Good for you. the only film I´ve seen of the ones you mention is "Dangerous Minds". Very, very good.

I´m sure your son is real handsome and it makes me warm inside to read about your love for him. My father used to find me pretty and took photos and film me all the time. When he gives me compliments, I feel this incredible warmth and love for him. He´s my favourite man - despite his excentricity thoughout life and being an impossible, unfit father, but maybe I love him because of his imperfections.

I´m watching "The Hours", about Virgina Woolf. I saw it when it came out, and I cried becaused these women play so well, Nicole Kidman is really a chamélion! She can change herself into different character every time. What a brilliant actress! And of course Meryl Streep is just divine. As I´m a writer myself I know what hell and darkness you go through. It´s so tough - and no wonder most of them killed themselves, because there were no real medication. Have you seen it? This movie really gets to me. It´s beautiful.

Well, Nancy, happy Bergman hunting! You should be in Paris. I would take you to Fnac -the movie store - and get you his prized DVD collection!

Ladies, have you stopped watching? Come out and play!



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Old 09-15-2003, 07:10 PM
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Dear Lilya and all,

Dear Lilya,

Thanks for the warmth. My Daddy and I are the same way. And thanks for the tips about those movies. I like Nicole Kidman and Virginia Woolf, too. I hope to make it to Paris one day, as I have always been an appreciater of the arts -- all of them. Any fine art -- music, visual art, dance, drama, literature -- they are all adventures for the mind. \

Yes, others -- where are you?> I think I hear an echoooooo....

Love ya all,
Nancy

P. S. It is hurricane season now. Isabel is on the way to the east coast. Couple of days ago they had her tracked to come to Chas., but now they say she is headed toward North Carolina. Hurricanes are a major pain in the _______ but awe inspiring in their power.
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Old 09-16-2003, 12:43 AM
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Hi All,

Today was my day off, so I was up late last night watching the Classic Movie Channel. I watched "The Day the Earth Stood Still," and the original "Fly." I hadn't seen "The Day," since I was 11 or 12, and I remember being scared silly by that big silver robot. I like the original fly as well. I went out to the movies and saw "Seabuscuit," over the weekend, and I also watched "The Red Violin," for about the 3rd or 4th time recently.

I see that others here like to watch the same movies more than once also.

One really bizarre movie that I saw years ago is called "Dead Ringers." Has anyone else seen it. Based on a true story (I love movies that are based on true stories), about these twin Dr.'s that are GYN's. Really perverted characters. They designed this set of GYN instruments that were really barbaric and they are on display somewhere in a museum. The story takes place in Canada. They pretend they are each other when they are dating women and then compare notes. One is a drug addict and gets into trouble with that, while the other one trys to save him, he becomes addicted. In the end they perform mutual surgery on each other, and kill themselves.

Nancy,

I missed your earlier post about being assaulted and suffering from PTSD. I am so sorry you had to experience that and I understand completely about the need to talk about it. Please don't every feel you are burdening anyone here by discussing it. When I was 16 I experienced being kidnapped and brutally raped by two men. I suffered from terrible PTSD afterwards and am still affected by it 32 years later. I am a massage therapist but I will not massage men because I don't want to be alone in a room with a man where I would be vulnerable to any type of unwanted advances.

I still have anxiety falling asleep at night, because while they let me go afterwards they told me if I told anyone they would come at night to kill me. I did go to the police, but I wish I hadn't. It was very humiliating, and because I was afraid they would come to kill me, I couldn't sleep at night for years. I would stay awake until 4 in the morning, and then for some reason I would feel it was o.k. to sleep. I would sleep for three hours and then get up for school or work. Anyway that's probably a story for the PTSD board, but it's something I've rarely shared with anyone. It's too difficult.

I recently purchased several of the books by L. Frank Baum. I picked up "The Wizard of Oz," "The Patchwork Girl of Oz," "The Lost Princess of Oz," and "Ozma of Oz." These were books I really enjoyed as a child and I want to share them with my six year old daughter.

She's really enjoying them as well. We take turns reading the paragraphs, and after we've read a chapter we take turns discussing what we've read in our own words. I find this is a great way to have my daughter think about what she's read and use her imagination to describe it. I love my daughter so much, and enjoy sharing with her like this. I feel so lucky to have her.

Lilya,

I haven't heard of the film "Bad Timing," but I will go check it out. I don't know if it's similar, but it made me think of a movie I watched when I was getting clean called "The Lost weekend."

Hi Mamabear, good to hear from you. How are things with your son at school, and how are you. Have you been taking care of yourself and doing some good things for yourself?

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