Fighting Again
 

It is 3:58 am in the morning. I am posting on SR. Just woke up from fighting the war again. Wife said I was kicking. The nightmares are always worse after a treatment session. Even now the mixed in emotions of child abuse and sexual abuse fogs my memory of the nightmare. It is like the rolls have been reversed in the nightmares. I did the killing but, in my nightmares it is me that is being killed. Sort of punished for my deeds. I have to give myself time to process this. Alcohol, made it easier, is no longer an option.

Gosh, Don, I am so sorry that this is happening to you.
Did you know that the VA has an online program for support and info with PTSD?
It is called Pilots, I think.
But the best way to find it is to put PTSD in the search and go with the VA site.
Those night terrors are horrific.
I am very afraid of ever having another one.
Hubs is going through it so bad now.
I so wish and hope for you and hubs to get a decent night's sleep, even if it is during the day...he gets his only really rest from a nap but has given those up mostly.

(((Don)))
I pray you can get through this dark time,
and enjoy the light. :hug:

Shalom!

Thank you for your support and suggestions. This is all part of recovery. Learning to feel the pain and not drink over the pain. Please remember, as i write these feelings I am a patient and recieve support from other Veterans. I have groups and phone numbers to call. My problem has been not having SR also in my life. That has been corrected. There is light and hope in my life today,

(((Don)))

Just know you are loved and that we are all walking with you through this journey of self-discovery.

Hugs

I'm so glad you're back home with us, Don...
...where you are loved. :hug:

Shalom!