_Doll’s Damn-Near Daily Ditty_
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Today couldn't get over any sooner for me. Everything sucks.
Work sucks ......my boss is driving me crazy ..... I'm driving him crazy ......and there's not enough time in the day to get everything done.
We (our office) is moving on June 1st and I have one million and one things to get done before then and I'd much rather tear my hair out.
I'm sort of watching Oprah about depression right now. I'd like to turn it up as loud as the TV goes so my boss would listen to it and UNDERSTAND me.
I'm shooting for June 2nd being a better day.
Work sucks ......my boss is driving me crazy ..... I'm driving him crazy ......and there's not enough time in the day to get everything done.
We (our office) is moving on June 1st and I have one million and one things to get done before then and I'd much rather tear my hair out.
I'm sort of watching Oprah about depression right now. I'd like to turn it up as loud as the TV goes so my boss would listen to it and UNDERSTAND me.
I'm shooting for June 2nd being a better day.
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
I got home last night about 6pm, ate some cereal for dinner and was asleep on the couch by 630 ...... I only woke up once to use the restroom and then I crawled into bed. I slept until 730am. I could have just stayed in bed all day.
I'm too busy at work to be falling apart right now.
I'm too busy at work to be falling apart right now.
No more merlot, more mamma
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
I just had to write
IMHO, I think you should just stick to the meds. It's apparent, and I think if you read back through the posts, that when you are off the meds, you don't function as well. And your partner sorted pissed me off lol. She could be a lot more supportive!
I'm on antidepressant meds, and each time I go off...I don't do well. Just me, but you wouldn't stop taking a medicine that controls your high blood pressure just to see how you do without it right??
Cut yourself some slack honey..its ok to need the meds.
(((((Paper))))))
Karen
I'm on antidepressant meds, and each time I go off...I don't do well. Just me, but you wouldn't stop taking a medicine that controls your high blood pressure just to see how you do without it right??
Cut yourself some slack honey..its ok to need the meds.
(((((Paper))))))
Karen
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Originally Posted by merlotmamma 
IMHO, I think you should just stick to the meds. It's apparent, and I think if you read back through the posts, that when you are off the meds, you don't function as well.
Originally Posted by merlotmamma
And your partner sorted pissed me off lol. She could be a lot more supportive!
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
My eating is out of control. I get hungry late at night (when i can't sleep) and eat and eat. I'm consistently gaining weight and it's really ticking me off. But, I guess I'm eating to feel better? It doesn't make sense when I say it but ....... I like to eat. The thought of struggling with my weight for the rest of my life is just annoying as hell.
I went to the dentist yesterday and it really sucked. Got three fillings and have to go back next week for another. In the meantime, I'm busy at work and don't seem to get anything done at home. I need to get back to the gym or swimming but I'm just too tired when I get home. Besides, that would take away from the time I could be stuffing my face!
I need to make some major life changes, I know, but I guess I don't know where to start. Hopefully this new therapist can help me with that.
Then I get stressed out because it costs $20 for each visit with her. That really isn't much, I know, but add it up. That's $100 per month. $100 per month that I do not have. I still owe money to the pdoc that I was seeing and have lots of other bills. I hate money.
So, yeah..........have a great day y'all.
I went to the dentist yesterday and it really sucked. Got three fillings and have to go back next week for another. In the meantime, I'm busy at work and don't seem to get anything done at home. I need to get back to the gym or swimming but I'm just too tired when I get home. Besides, that would take away from the time I could be stuffing my face!
I need to make some major life changes, I know, but I guess I don't know where to start. Hopefully this new therapist can help me with that.
Then I get stressed out because it costs $20 for each visit with her. That really isn't much, I know, but add it up. That's $100 per month. $100 per month that I do not have. I still owe money to the pdoc that I was seeing and have lots of other bills. I hate money.
So, yeah..........have a great day y'all.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Hi,
I have major clinical depression and severe anxiety which I am treated for and am doing very well.
Recently my husband went through a 3 month period of extreme black hole depression. Even tho' I of all people ought to understand and have the greatest of compassion, I did find it very difficult to deal with. I tried hard to understand but I did have problems getting angry with him because he stopped functioning and I was doing everything. He wouldn't even eat unless I prepared him something.
I went with him to his last therapists appmt and talked about what I was seeing in his functioning and behavior. I know you do not want to take meds, but they changed his anti-d and he has made a remarkable turnaround.
But to answer your question from the other thread, even tho' of us who have been there ourselves...it is really hard to deal with and effects the relationship.
I tried to suggest fun things, activities, anything. He wasn't up for it. I don't think there was anything I could have done other than let him know I love him and for him not to feel guilty for being sick.
live
I have major clinical depression and severe anxiety which I am treated for and am doing very well.
Recently my husband went through a 3 month period of extreme black hole depression. Even tho' I of all people ought to understand and have the greatest of compassion, I did find it very difficult to deal with. I tried hard to understand but I did have problems getting angry with him because he stopped functioning and I was doing everything. He wouldn't even eat unless I prepared him something.
I went with him to his last therapists appmt and talked about what I was seeing in his functioning and behavior. I know you do not want to take meds, but they changed his anti-d and he has made a remarkable turnaround.
But to answer your question from the other thread, even tho' of us who have been there ourselves...it is really hard to deal with and effects the relationship.
I tried to suggest fun things, activities, anything. He wasn't up for it. I don't think there was anything I could have done other than let him know I love him and for him not to feel guilty for being sick.
live
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Originally Posted by liveweyerd
But to answer your question from the other thread, even tho' of us who have been there ourselves...it is really hard to deal with and effects the relationship.
I tried to suggest fun things, activities, anything. He wasn't up for it. I don't think there was anything I could have done other than let him know I love him and for him not to feel guilty for being sick.
live
I tried to suggest fun things, activities, anything. He wasn't up for it. I don't think there was anything I could have done other than let him know I love him and for him not to feel guilty for being sick.
live
I think you're right ....... it sort of like dealing with a person with an addiction. Nothing YOU do can change it....I have to find my own way out I guess. But support, I'd like some encouraging support. I know she tries and I'm a bear often times. She's just so fed up with it.
I've seen my new therapist a second time and so far so good. She's suggesting I get my thyroid checked (again) and she thinks I have a sleep disorder. Both of which I need to talk to my primary doc about. In the meantime she's going to work with me on my body image issues. I think shes going to use guided imagery which should be interesting.
I'm not sleeping tonight apparently..........I should have been asleep by 11...........here it is 2AM and my mind is going full blast!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
well, kewl, we can stay up all night. I plan to stay up until I drop for reasons of my own.
This could be a great dialog! What would encouraging support be or mean for you?
I want to be able to give it, within my comfort level.
Today my lame effort was a back scratching, ok, but he likes it.
Further, I am diagnosed major depression and severe anxiety. It is a game of who is neediest at times? LOL
I really, really like BEST but I, for my own convictions, cannot go the religious route.
Otherwise I would have responded much sooner.
If you are religious, that is your right and likely you will find your answers there.
I just happen to be a die hard agnostic. And cannot participate in those discussions. I tried for awhile, but it was quite a failure!
YUM.....guided imagery.....oooooo.....I was so lucky that for awhile I was able to take a Sabbatical and really study the Buddhist's science (not religion) of mind, meditation, relaxation, evolutionary imagery and practice.
Not religion. It is all studied by a consortium of Eastern and Western science research techniques.....but the most profound thing I have experienced.
I would be far better off if I continued to pursue it....but at the time I was in Argentina and my Spanish was very poor and so I took the time as a Sabbatical.
I frankly miss the isolation I set aside every Sunday for this practice. I feel sure I have lost ground.
If you have any interest, let me know and I will give you the link to the latest research. Be aware that this is a consortium with the Dalai Lama. But that it is a scientific study rather than religious. And frankly, research data shows they are light years ahead of us. I promote no religion. No specific G*d or spiritual path. I am science minded.
I can say that I caused such a stir in the Christianity forum that the Secular forum was created and then I was banned from it. But I take responsibility for that and they were right. I forgot about the greater good and got on my own selfish rants.
Enough about me....back to the question......what feels like encouraging support to you. I really want to know. This is very relevant in my life!
This could be a great dialog! What would encouraging support be or mean for you?
I want to be able to give it, within my comfort level.
Today my lame effort was a back scratching, ok, but he likes it.
Further, I am diagnosed major depression and severe anxiety. It is a game of who is neediest at times? LOL
I really, really like BEST but I, for my own convictions, cannot go the religious route.
Otherwise I would have responded much sooner.
If you are religious, that is your right and likely you will find your answers there.
I just happen to be a die hard agnostic. And cannot participate in those discussions. I tried for awhile, but it was quite a failure!
YUM.....guided imagery.....oooooo.....I was so lucky that for awhile I was able to take a Sabbatical and really study the Buddhist's science (not religion) of mind, meditation, relaxation, evolutionary imagery and practice.
Not religion. It is all studied by a consortium of Eastern and Western science research techniques.....but the most profound thing I have experienced.
I would be far better off if I continued to pursue it....but at the time I was in Argentina and my Spanish was very poor and so I took the time as a Sabbatical.
I frankly miss the isolation I set aside every Sunday for this practice. I feel sure I have lost ground.
If you have any interest, let me know and I will give you the link to the latest research. Be aware that this is a consortium with the Dalai Lama. But that it is a scientific study rather than religious. And frankly, research data shows they are light years ahead of us. I promote no religion. No specific G*d or spiritual path. I am science minded.
I can say that I caused such a stir in the Christianity forum that the Secular forum was created and then I was banned from it. But I take responsibility for that and they were right. I forgot about the greater good and got on my own selfish rants.
Enough about me....back to the question......what feels like encouraging support to you. I really want to know. This is very relevant in my life!
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Originally Posted by liveweyerd
I just happen to be a die hard agnostic.
Originally Posted by liveweyerd
YUM.....guided imagery.....oooooo.....I was so lucky that for awhile I was able to take a Sabbatical and really study the Buddhist's science (not religion) of mind, meditation, relaxation, evolutionary imagery and practice.
I'll get back to you on the encouragement I need when my mind is less foggy!
Glad you're here live!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
I was living alone in a foreign country that does not speak English, so I had alot of time to make it my Sabbatical. The previous job/project paid for it and I went there because it was so low cost to live and was too big of an opportunity to miss.
I was studying books,...problem is I give away all my best books...so it will take me awhile to remember which one(s) I was studying, also so I can replace them for me.
When I saw my chiro this week, he was talking to me about his son, also a chiro who does hypnosis too. I think this is similar to what I experienced, I learned to slide into an empty space of peace. I was supposed to be meditating on a certain theme "compassion"...lesson #1....but I couldn't do it for long because I would get too relaxed and fall asleep.
Maybe I said that before?
Anyway...it was all in books.
I am a book worm.
I was studying books,...problem is I give away all my best books...so it will take me awhile to remember which one(s) I was studying, also so I can replace them for me.
When I saw my chiro this week, he was talking to me about his son, also a chiro who does hypnosis too. I think this is similar to what I experienced, I learned to slide into an empty space of peace. I was supposed to be meditating on a certain theme "compassion"...lesson #1....but I couldn't do it for long because I would get too relaxed and fall asleep.
Maybe I said that before?
Anyway...it was all in books.
I am a book worm.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
yes, very focused practice!
But I want to ask again...what feels like encouraging support to you?
This matters to me because my husband had a bad depressive episode and I need to know how I can help.
But I want to ask again...what feels like encouraging support to you?
This matters to me because my husband had a bad depressive episode and I need to know how I can help.
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Well, I haven't forgotten about you. I'm just having a hard time thinking of an answer.
I tend to get very defensive when C is intending to be supportive of me. She say one thing and I hear another. I tend to by hypersensitive to any criticism or judgment.
I know what I don't want. If I'm having a bad day sometimes I decide to call in sick to work and stay in bed all day. Her general reaction is to silently be mad at me. She just completely stays away from me and acts like I'm not at home. She doesn't come in, sit on the corner of the bed and say "Are you ok? What's wrong? Is there anything I can do? You haven't eaten all day so I made you this soup." She's just usually so annoyed that I stayed home AGAIN that she doesn't want to talk to me at all.
As I typed that out I think I may sound a little paranoid and may be asking for too much from her. I'd love to be "less annoying" to her!
So, that's an answer from a foggy headed chick! See what you asked for?!
I tend to get very defensive when C is intending to be supportive of me. She say one thing and I hear another. I tend to by hypersensitive to any criticism or judgment.
I know what I don't want. If I'm having a bad day sometimes I decide to call in sick to work and stay in bed all day. Her general reaction is to silently be mad at me. She just completely stays away from me and acts like I'm not at home. She doesn't come in, sit on the corner of the bed and say "Are you ok? What's wrong? Is there anything I can do? You haven't eaten all day so I made you this soup." She's just usually so annoyed that I stayed home AGAIN that she doesn't want to talk to me at all.
As I typed that out I think I may sound a little paranoid and may be asking for too much from her. I'd love to be "less annoying" to her!
So, that's an answer from a foggy headed chick! See what you asked for?!
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Is there a magic pill somewhere to make me back to "normal"?
All of this depression or whatever is wrong with me is driving me absolutely nuts. I just want it to be over and done with and be "happy" again. It's effecting every aspect of my life.
All of this depression or whatever is wrong with me is driving me absolutely nuts. I just want it to be over and done with and be "happy" again. It's effecting every aspect of my life.
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Depression does effect every aspect of our lives.
And, no, I"m sorry but, there is no magic pill...
But, our medication can help. And I know how easy it is to say, "I don't need it" or "I don't want to take a pill every day." But, there are times, we need it. I took meds for years. While I was on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds, I learned how to cope with the stressors in my life. Today, I am med free. It was the situation of my son's addiction and my ex's gambling that led to my depression. Situational depression is different than clinical. It's brought about by extreem, nonrelenting stress. Those with a clinical depression may always need meds. I'm not sure where you fall in the continnum. Only you and your doctor can determine that. But, I wish you the best.
Please continue to take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Even when you don't feel like you can, do somehting each day towards those ends. Those actions helped me.
Shalom!
And, no, I"m sorry but, there is no magic pill...
But, our medication can help. And I know how easy it is to say, "I don't need it" or "I don't want to take a pill every day." But, there are times, we need it. I took meds for years. While I was on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds, I learned how to cope with the stressors in my life. Today, I am med free. It was the situation of my son's addiction and my ex's gambling that led to my depression. Situational depression is different than clinical. It's brought about by extreem, nonrelenting stress. Those with a clinical depression may always need meds. I'm not sure where you fall in the continnum. Only you and your doctor can determine that. But, I wish you the best.
Please continue to take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Even when you don't feel like you can, do somehting each day towards those ends. Those actions helped me.
Shalom!
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