Nofap/sexual transmutation - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read




Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-05-2020, 01:36 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 351

Nofap/sexual transmutation


In a little over a month I'll be celebrating three years of sobriety. Now that I'm comfortable and secure in my sobriety I've focused more on other aspects of holistic health which is why I haven't visited this site in awhile.

Through work I have regular appointments with an LCSW. When I first started seeing her I was struggling with PAWS from early sobriety but as time has progressed the focus has shifted away from recovery and more towards life goals.

Through therapy I have come to a realization: masturbation was the first addiction I had long before I ever touched any alcohol. No joke, I started doing it as far back as I can remember (around 4 years old). I had a less than ideal childhood and it turns out I was using that as a coping mechanism. It never occurred to me that this was a sickness, similar to how my drinking was a sickness, only because I had done it for so long it became an instinct. I was masturbating regardless of the circumstances...even if I was tired, not horny, with my wife/girlfriend, inappropriate circumstances. I just did it without even thinking.

Can you imagine my surprise when I realized that my recovery from alcohol addiction wasn't even the real problem I needed to address? Alcohol had been a huge problem in my life and it wasn't even THE problem. The good news however is that I finally unlocked the code regarding my mental health. All of my issues in life stem from this habit I learned in my formative years.

I did some research online and found out about Napoleon Hill's advice on sexual transmutation. Then I came across the nofap reddit board talking about the 90 day challenge (no porn, masturbation, or orgasm).

Does anybody else know about this stuff? I'm 100+ days into it and I must admit...this is the real deal. My goal is to remain completely celibate for at least six months (preferably a year) but porn and masturbation are off the table for the rest of my life.

Crazy stuff, getting sober was only the beginning of my journey!
WeThinkNot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2020, 01:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 183,027
Blog Entries: 1
None of that is familiar to me, I'm afraid but striving for self improvement is a good thing

good luck with it WTN - good to see you

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Astro (03-06-2020)
Old 03-09-2020, 04:06 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 351
Thanks Dee. I figure I can use this obscure corner of the forum as my journal and maybe it might help others.

Currently I am going through what is called a "flatline" which is complete loss of libido while the brain is doing its rewiring. I actually don't mind because it makes abstinence much easier for now. Only problem is I'm going through other withdrawal effects as well. The mood swings and headaches are back from when I quit drinking although thankfully they are nowhere near as severe this time around (for now).

They say your emotional growth gets stunted once your addiction takes over. Armed with the knowledge of my true addiction and reflecting on my life I see that there was always something "off" about me, even from childhood. I believe I had internalized the shame of my masturbation habit and as a result had a hard time connecting with other people.

This is true socially but also from a sexual perspective as well. My exes always complained that I tried avoiding eye contact during sex. In retrospect, sex with women was an extension of masturbation itself except I would use them as my preferred "vessel" so to speak. No connection whatsoever on an esoteric level.

I'm over 41 years old and I've never had "real" sex in my life. Hell I've been an empty shell masquerading in human form for the majority of my life.

This may sound depressing but it is actually cathartic to type all of this out. Quitting drinking was the hardest thing I have ever done and that was merely the first baby step in my journey. Sobriety was actually the training wheels for the task that is in front of me now. If I can quit drinking I have 1000% confidence I can quit this habit as well.

In the meantime I'll keep my eyes on the prize and stay focused.
WeThinkNot is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to WeThinkNot For This Useful Post:
Astro (03-10-2020), Dee74 (03-09-2020)
Old 03-09-2020, 04:22 PM   #4 (permalink)
Reality>Theory
 
Spacegoat's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 1,401
Interesting read!

Quote:
Originally Posted by WeThinkNot View Post
Can you imagine my surprise when I realized that my recovery from alcohol addiction wasn't even the real problem I needed to address?
Yah.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WeThinkNot View Post
Does anybody else know about this stuff?
Masturbation? Only 99 % of men know something about it.

And a lot of women also I dunno what else to say to ya.

I identify with some of it! Thanks for posting
__________________
Quote:
Everyone deserves a little bit of happiness
Spacegoat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2020, 06:22 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spacegoat View Post
Masturbation? Only 99 % of men know something about it.
Lol I think the correct figure is 100%.

Just a quick update while I'm having my morning coffee. The body and brain are definitely going through a healing process. These days I get up at 5:30 in the morning as a matter of principle and no later than 7:30 on the weekends. For a couple of weeks I've been waking up about an hour earlier with morning wood. I try to ignore it and go back to sleep but it's too distracting.

Once I'm up and awake it goes away and then...nothing. No libido whatsoever for the rest of the day.

Here's a tip for you fellas and what I'm about to say is 100% no lie. Exercise has been a huge component of my recovery plan from alcoholism. These past few months since I started nofap my gains have gone through the roof. My physique has been upgraded from "physically fit dude" to the early stages of "meathead". Veins popping out everywhere.

I'm actually worried once I start dating again that it will have an adverse effect on my training.

Oh well off to the gym...
WeThinkNot is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to WeThinkNot For This Useful Post:
Astro (03-13-2020), Dee74 (03-12-2020), Spacegoat (03-12-2020)
Old 03-17-2020, 11:18 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 351
My sobriety date (alcohol) is April 14th 2017. I spent mid 2017 just trying not to die and the latter part of the year doing anything and everything to not have a drink. I would eat party bags of M&Ms in one sitting because it was preferable to give in to sugar cravings than to start drinking again.

When the 2018 New Year rolled around I made goals for myself for the first time in my life (what a novel idea right?). I had wasted my 20s and 30s being a worthless piece of trash drunk and I was absolutely NOT going to **** away the second chance at life that God had granted me. One of my midterm goals was by my fifth birthday (April 2022) I wanted my life infrastructure to be healthy. Good physical health, emotional health, spiritual health, and financial health. Only once I was secure in my new life would I start dating again. In AA they tell you not to date in your first year of sobriety. Not good enough for me, I am not dating at all until my life is in 100% order.

I must admit I'm still a little surprised that I've far exceeded my anticipated progress on the eve of my third birthday. Late last year is when I took on the nofap challenge because I wanted to rid myself of my disgusting masturbation habit and also reboot my sexuality to the normal baseline that is hardwired in my brain.

In a week I will have four months with no sexual release (porn, masturbation, orgasm). On Saturday I was out having dinner and my waitress was an attractive, shapely woman. Out of nowhere my libido came roaring back to life and it's been awake ever since. But unlike the past I'm noticing certain things about women that are communicating to my lizard brain. The way they smell. Their soft curves. The way they lower their eyes submissively when they are flirting. The knowing look they give you when they can tell they are making you hot.

I'm finally connecting with women on the esoteric plane. These are all things that I might have been conscious about in the past but now the most primal parts of my brain are picking up on. Up until now I've never truly sensed just how amazing and wonderful women are!

As of midnight last night I am under lockdown for three weeks. I am here in my apartment, libido roaring but I'm continuing with my abstinence. Since I can't go to the gym I'm keeping myself occupied with bodyweight exercises: squats, pushups, lunges, and situps. Later I'll probably go for a jog.

Originally my intent was to get rid of my masturbation addiction so I could date again but now I see that it goes much deeper. This is my destiny. It is every man's destiny to become a king. I want complete 100% control over my self and my baser instincts. And I will not stop until that crown is mine.
WeThinkNot is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to WeThinkNot For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (03-17-2020)
Old 03-17-2020, 05:30 PM   #7 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 183,027
Blog Entries: 1
Is the lockdown part of your process, or dictated by current COVOD19 events?

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2020, 07:56 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 351
Oops sorry for not clarifying. The area I live (Bay Area, Northern California) is under a three week quarantine due to COVID-19. Actually I had booked a ticket six months ago to go to Vegas for my third sobriety birthday but it looks like they will be shutting down for the first time ever.

No complaints on my end though. I'm healthy, happy, and safe. There will be plenty of time for leisure in the future.
WeThinkNot is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to WeThinkNot For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (03-17-2020)
Old 03-17-2020, 07:59 PM   #9 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 183,027
Blog Entries: 1
Stay safe and well

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2020, 08:03 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 351
Likewise Dee! This is a once in a lifetime world event we are experiencing here.
WeThinkNot is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to WeThinkNot For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (03-17-2020)
Old 03-19-2020, 11:05 AM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 351
My manager called me last night and asked me if I could come to work during the quarantine. Our job has been deemed business critical and I'm the only one in the office doing onsite work while my colleagues are working remotely. Win-win for me as this will surely result in a raise/promotion and it gives me a chance to get out of the house for a bit.

Urges are intense right now. Not gonna lie, it feels like my balls are full of lava. Hopefully checking in here will help get my mind off things.

I am naturally an introvert but I suffered from intense social anxiety my whole life. I believe a lot of addicts suffer from social anxiety and use their drug of choice to mask the symptoms. As I've progressed with my abstinence I'm finding all of my anxieties have faded to the point where I'm not 100% sure I'm an introvert anymore.

I've been transmuting my raw masculine sexual energy into positive endeavors just like Napoleon Hill suggested. In this case I've been channeling that energy into fitness and career advancement. As I make progress in these goals my confidence, already brimming from alcohol sobriety, is overflowing.

My dilemma is that I want to scream this from the rooftops. I want to broadcast this news to the entire forum because it is doing wonders for me personally. But people would think I'm nuts. Truth be told the whole thing does kind of sound nuts on the surface.

Ask and ye shall receive...

Instead of broadcasting it, I will leave it in this corner of the forum for those who are destined to find it. I believe those who are ready to receive this knowledge will come across my story by providence.

Control your base male instincts and channel that energy into something positive. Then let's see about your "social anxiety".

Urges have dissipated from typing this, thank goodness.
WeThinkNot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2020, 11:35 AM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 483
Interesting stuff.

I did this a few years ago and yeah, it's incredible what a difference it makes.

The drive that builds.

One thing that I noticed was that, around the 2 month mark, it's like you start giving off a pheromone thing.

I was walking our dog and, usually if you pass someone else, male or female, there's that "good morning" smile, nod in a 'youre walking your dog too' camaraderie kinda thing.

But all of a sudden, women walking their dog, would just strike up conversation. I didn't really click at first to what was going on, I'm one of those guys who doesn't usually pick up on signals.

Then at the supermarket, same thing, standing in front of the bread selection and boom, some quite attractive woman just sidles up and starts yacking away about bread and smiling and well just outright flirting.

I also work as a delivery driver, so the same thing started happening when I would go to get the paperwork signed for, the women on reception, who I'd seen plenty of times and it was always just courteous, all of a sudden ... flirty and chatty.

Let me just say, I'm no oil painting and this kinda thing had never happened before, ever.

Then it just kept happening and now that I was aware of it, I couldn't help but just be fascinated by how much it seemed to be just pure pheromone.

I hadn't changed anything else about myself, no new clothes, haircut, fancy car, new gym honed physique.

All I did was just hold in the juice for a while.

But, being married, I decided that although this was kinda flattering and I did feel good, ultimately I knew if it went on, I was going to get too tempted because, as you know, you do get to a point where you feel like you are bursting at the seams, so I had to let it out or I got a definite feeling that it wasn't going to end well.

Since then, the pheromone thing went away and guess what ? Its never happened again, not one woman has struck up a random flirty conversation anywhere, it's just back to courteous and normal.
Derringer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2020, 03:57 PM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 351
On the forums I read people always talk about the "superpowers" nofap/transmutation brings you. I was definitely skeptical when I first read about it but there is something to be said for this. To me it is doubtful that a large number of anonymous men reporting their experience are all experiencing a placebo effect.

I have experienced this myself. I'm no longer married but I have the opposite problem. There is a married woman I know with whom I've flirted in the past but lately there has been escalation on her end. I'm trying to be a good boy...

There is some magnetism they pick up on. Crazy but true, they just sense it.
WeThinkNot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-23-2020, 10:34 AM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 351
Today marks four months without any sexual release. I'm not 100% certain of the date but I moved into my new apartment on November 23rd and the last time I masturbated was not too long before that. So the 23rd is the date I've selected to mark my abstinence.

I'm flatlining again, flatline meaning complete loss of libido. Actually it's more than that, it feels like my genitals aren't even attached to the rest of my body. My brain can't sense any nerve endings down there whatsoever. I'm finding the flatline to be a double edged sword. On the one hand it is easier to accelerate the healing process when I am not getting any urges at all.

The negative is that I feel off kilter. If I were to take all aspects of holistic health and rate them I would give high marks to my physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and financial health. This is in contrast with my sexual health which currently gets a big fat F. The loss of libido itself doesn't bother me as the fact that there is a big glaring failure in an otherwise healthy system.

On the nofap forums the standard challenge is 90 days of abstinence (no porn, masturbation, or orgasm). I think the number was purposefully chosen as it's a short enough duration to see some benefits but not too long that the task seems overwhelming. The idea is probably that once somebody sees the benefits after 90 days they continue with positive habits forever.

I'm four months in and clearly I still have a long way to go. I've been giving my brain hits of dirty, unearned dopamine going back as far as I can remember. First the masturbation, then the alcohol. It took me the better part of a lifetime to get into this mess, it's not going to heal overnight. So I must be patient while the brain acts fussy as it's recalibrating.
WeThinkNot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-23-2020, 04:31 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 483
Decided to join you on the journey here 👍

Day 4.

4 months is awesome. 💪

Think I found the website you are referring to with the forums. Found quite a few posts from guys who had a similar experience with the magnetism thing. Which is kinda a relief cause I really did think it was possibly just ego and coincidence but having read those posts, seems it's a legit thing.

2020 sure is turning out to be a strange year on the world stage but on a personal note, it's been a clutch one for me so far and this commitment feels like a totally positive move too.

Thanks for the inspiration.
Derringer is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Derringer For This Useful Post:
Astro (03-24-2020)
Old 03-24-2020, 06:25 AM   #16 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 351
Welcome aboard Derringer! Now I have an accountability partner
WeThinkNot is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to WeThinkNot For This Useful Post:
Derringer (03-28-2020)
Old 03-24-2020, 05:22 PM   #17 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 351
There was somewhat of a milestone in my abstinence today, on the first day after my designated four month anniversary.

I'm alone at work, my boss asked me to be onsite while everybody else is working from home due to COVID-19. Due to boredom I started reminiscing about exes and past sexual encounters. I'm not trying to set the stage for a relapse but after four months of no release it is a bit difficult to keep the mind from wandering. Especially when I'm alone at work with not much to do.

I was thinking about an ex girlfriend in particular who was rather adventurous in the bedroom. There was some stirring downstairs but it was accompanied by pain in my balls and lower abdomen. Not only that but I felt a little bit of nausea. Not severe enough where I was worried about vomiting but rather that slight queasy feeling in my gut. The pain I could understand because I'm doing nofap but I was questioning the nausea.

As I kept thinking about my ex, my "friend" came to life. Here's the thing...it was rock hard solid. Meaning I don't remember the last time I had an erection of that strength. Not only that but the pain in my area and the queasy feeling intensified.

I'm not trying to be TMI by saying that, there is a reason I bring that up. Because of my masturbation addiction over the years I slowly lost strength down there. My estimate is that for years (decades?) my erection was at 75% to 80% at best. Hard enough to achieve penetration but not 100% healthy.

My teenage erection stayed for awhile but the libido I was feeling was different. It felt more natural. Instead of being concentrated "down there" it was based in my lower abdomen and flowing outwardly throughout my body. This was the best drug I've ever taken in my life. I felt it in the nape of my neck. I felt it in my toes.

I think this is what a real libido is supposed to feel like and I'm experiencing it for the first time. It lasted until about an hour ago and now...nothing. I'm flatlining.

I went out for a walk to get some fresh air and realized I was moody. Over an hour ago I felt on top of the world and now my demeanor is sour. Progress is not linear as they say in addiction.

Getting a clear indicator I'm on the right path is encouraging I must say.
WeThinkNot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-31-2020, 12:46 PM   #18 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 351
Alone and bored at work so I thought I'd check in here with an update.

I didn't have a good weekend, likely going through the post withdrawal process. I was moody, had awful headaches, my sleep schedule was off, my appetite was off, my bowel movements were off. I believe the body's natural functions are the best barometer for overall health, if something is off then it's for a reason.

Late Sunday afternoon I went to the grocery store to stock up for the week. Every week I go through my fridge, pantry, and bathroom and make a list of what I'll need. After I buy the groceries and pull up to my apartment it hits me that I forgot to buy butter. I had forgotten to write it down, forgotten to buy it, but I remembered after I had already gotten home. It was the cherry on top of my stellar weekend and I started screaming obscenities in my car.

What's interesting is the dichotomy between the withdrawal and the benefits I'm getting from semen retention. Even though the weekend sucked I was an absolute machine in terms of productivity. My body is getting used to calisthenics and I feel like I'm in the best shape of my life. I ended up cleaning my entire apartment, it is spotless. I even ended up finishing up some reports for work early just to get it out of the way.

I'm happy to say that my mood shifted for the better this morning. The pleasant feeling in my lower abdomen is back but I'm not getting the urge to take care of it. Instead I'm just letting it be, letting it flow throughout my body.
WeThinkNot is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to WeThinkNot For This Useful Post:
Astro (04-02-2020), Dee74 (03-31-2020)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:26 PM.