Nofap/sexual transmutation

Old 07-30-2020, 12:32 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Dec 2018
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So I made my last update two days ago talking about how I felt like I was going crazy. This morning...I feel absolutely amazing. I've found the two telltale indicators of how I'm going to feel on any particular day in this journey are quality of sleep and morning wood. After about four or five hours of sleep I woke up early this morning feeling absolutely refreshed, in fact I'm still energized. I also had morning steel like a teenager, it cooled off about five or ten minutes after I got out of bed.

After my cup of coffee I absolutely tore through my calisthenics with fury.

When I got sober I went through some pretty awful PAWS for almost two years. There is definitely some post withdrawal going on with semen retention but it's a bit different from what I experienced previously. Actually I was surprised people can experience PAWS due to porn/masturbation/sex addiction but other forums I've consulted confirm this to be true. I guess it makes sense if PAWS is due to the dopamine receptors healing/rebalancing. There is likely no greater dopamine release than orgasm.

What I'm noticing this time is that the lows and highs are not deviating too much from my baseline setting. The lows from semen retention are NO WAY as bad as the torture that my lows from sobriety were. However the fluctuations are occurring more fluidly now than they did before. Meaning I can go from baseline to low to high etc. much quicker. It's a bit irritating because it almost feels like the brain is imbalanced sometimes.

In an earlier report I thought I was officially over the hump so I'm not going to get ahead of myself this time. But there is definitely healing going on and over the months my baseline level has been steadily increasing.

If there is any guy reading my journal who has suffered from sexual dysfunction due to porn/masturbation/sex addiction I can not recommend this practice enough.
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Astro (08-01-2020)
Old 07-31-2020, 11:26 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2020
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Originally Posted by WeThinkNot View Post
Checking in halfway into Month 7 of semen retention.

The easiest (but longest) way to build wealth is via compounding interest. If you start saving money when you are young, you can become a millionaire without putting away too much money each month. Father time does all of the heavy lifting. The only rules are you have to save consistently, never take any money out prematurely, and most importantly be PATIENT. It may take several decades but eventually the money from your returns will far surpass the money you are contributing.

I've made more progress in these last few weeks of my journey than I have in the first six months. This is all internal, it is not something I can express quantitatively. All of my senses are sharpened and alert. The energy I have is absolutely mind boggling. I am dead serious when I say that I feel like I have more energy in my early 40s than I did even as a teenager.

Last night I went out for an evening cruise, the weather was absolutely perfect for it. At one point I got a little nervous because I felt like a panic attack was coming. I had a few of those while going through PAWS from alcoholism, they are absolutely terrifying. But it wasn't a panic attack it was just the amount of raw energy I had coursing through my entire central nervous system. The only comparison I can personally make is it was a bit similar to my previous cocaine binges.

I was just so damn happy last night. Honestly I felt like last night was the greatest night of my life. It was a mundane Friday evening but to me it was the greatest night ever. Just cruising the empty streets, windows down, wired like crazy, and listening to some 80s music on the radio. The DJ played two songs by Erasure, maybe that is why I was in such a great mood.

The reason I mentioned compound interest a bit earlier...I believe it's only going to get much better much faster from here on out. There is no doubt in my mind that how I'll feel at one year will be exponential orders of magnitude greater than how I'm feeling now. On with my journey...
7 months semen retention! Thatís insane! Not sure if you are single but your next partner might need PPE!
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Astro (08-01-2020)
Old 08-02-2020, 04:21 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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I've reached 2 months today. The wet dreams occur about once every two weeks for me. Can't seem to avoid those, but I've heard it is a sign of healing.

I too have fluctuating highs and lows. I'll feel on top of the world on one day and the next day I'll feel very lonely.

My low days consist of over-analyzing what is lacking in my life. I'll compare my life to others my age who have what I don't (companionship, mostly), and consequently will feel like some loser who fell behind in life. I will feel as if my past behavior has left a permanent "damaged goods" label slapped across my chest. Those moments are painful.

So, it's been difficult thus far.

My high moments are counter-intuitive. Famed writer Charles Bukowski left a smart, if succinct, message on his gravestone.

"Don't try."

When I'm going out of my way to really try and impress a girl, nothing goes as planned. It feels like I am fighting a battle to get this girl to like me.

The times when I am really just not even trying and not seeking any particular outcome, I'm smart, charismatic.. I come off as attractive naturally. Feels amazing.

And this 'don't try' attitude isn't relegated to approaching women, either. I'll be writing music, and as long as I am only doing it for pure enjoyment, the music is more authentic and creative. I'll be satisfied with what I've created. Feels electric. On the other hand, if I am really trying to make something great, I am never satisfied with the end result. I'll become discouraged.

I think this NoFap and sobriety journey is revealing to myself some important things about the way life works.
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Old 08-03-2020, 12:26 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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Congratulations on achieving two months of semen retention, that is awesome!

Regarding wet dreams, surprisingly I have been able to avoid them so far. There was only one instance recently where I was having a sex dream and woke up right before the nocturnal emission was going to occur. Thankfully I was able to prevent it, had I woken up a few seconds later it would have likely been a different story. What I have noticed is cloudy urine from time to time, especially after an intense workout. I think that is how my body has been expelling waste which might explain how I've been able to avoid the wet dreams.

I think this NoFap and sobriety journey is revealing to myself some important things about the way life works.

The most important truth I've learned in this journey so far is there is much more to the universe than what can be perceived by the five traditional senses.

When I got sober from alcohol I thought that was the definitive dividing line between my old worthless life and my new amazing life. It wasn't until two years into sobriety when I really started to cultivate a relationship with The Creator. It was the missing piece of my life and I didn't quite know how to go about doing it.

Can you imagine my surprise when I discovered this journey which has completely eclipsed my sobriety journey as it relates to the overall impact on my life?!! Sobriety, which I previously assumed to be the dividing line, was merely the spring training for the REAL test of my character. As the months have gone by there have been several instances of good fortune that has come my if guided by invisible hand. I'm a little tentative to share that because most people would probably be skeptical but that is my absolute truth.

We all have auras and we all operate on certain wavelengths, some low frequency and some high frequency. As one becomes more disciplined in this temporal world one ascends to higher frequencies and generates a stronger aura which allows for a deeper relationship with The Creator.

Keep up the good work king!
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Old 08-10-2020, 01:22 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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I've hit a bit of a patch so I need to write my thoughts out so I can look at them.

I'm a little over halfway into my ninth month of semen retention. Physically, mentally, and spiritually I feel absolutely amazing. The first problem I have are urges. It isn't a crazy intense sexual urge but rather a low pleasant tingly feeling that JUST WON'T GO AWAY no matter what I do. This weekend I did everything I could to properly transmute the sexual energy but seemingly to no avail. I did some intense calisthenics, cleaned my entire studio, and even came into work to get a head start on some upcoming projects. But the urges are still there.

In the grander scheme of things I'm tripping a bit because I don't know what the endgame is. Once I had successfully weaned myself off alcohol the goal was simple: don't ever put this disgusting vile liquid in my mouth for the rest of my life. Easy, done. But dealing with an addiction like sex or food is different in that cold turkey is not an option.

I'm pretty certain I won't remain celibate for the rest of my life but I don't know when it's "safe" to pursue sexual relationships due to my addiction history. Porn and masturbation are off the table since those are despicable habits for losers but when is it ok to start meeting women again? I've committed myself to pure semen retention for the rest of 2020 with the goal of dating again after the New Year. And yet...

There is a part of me that wants to continue on my path for all of 2021. I genuinely believe if I can do this for another year I'll ascend to a higher plane of existence. But these damn urges are not going away.

Also I've been "cheating" a bit in the sense that everything is closed due to COVID-19. For the most part I've been completely sequestered since March (not including the Vegas trip) which has made it easier to resist temptation. Once things start opening up again and society gradually returns to normalcy could be a whole other ballgame.

All I know right now is that I need to dig deep and stay on this path for the rest of the year. This was the goal I had set for myself and I'm too committed to fail now. Beyond that I'll need to meditate on which path I plan on taking next year.
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Old 08-11-2020, 11:01 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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What a difference a day makes!

Last night was the biggest test I've faced so far in this journey. As I was laying in bed unable to fall asleep the urges were at their absolute peak. Truth be told those were not even sexual urges but my brain screaming for its hit of dopamine. "Rub one out WeThinkNot, it won't be so bad". I tossed and turned while putting my brain in check..."I am the boss here, I didn't invest 8 1/2 months to throw it all away so you can yell all you want". It was a struggle but in the end I managed to fall asleep without breaking my streak.

This morning I woke up at 5:00 A.M. before my alarm was set to go off. I practically jumped out of bed with vigor. The urges are gone but my vitality is through the roof! I've never taken steroids but I imagine this is like steroids minus all of the horrible side effects.

This is the biggest victory in my journey thus far. For every urge I overcome that destroys a neural pathway in my brain wired towards masturbation.

As a side note, I have started incorporating pistol squats (single leg squats) into my morning calisthenics routine. I only started doing calisthenics due to the gyms being closed so I was looking to incorporate some more difficult exercises into my routine. While reading through some articles I came across pistol squats and it absolutely never occurred to me that people are capable of doing this.

Obviously as a novice I can't do them without supporting myself but I've set a new goal for myself to master the pistol squat. First I'm working on strength, later I'll work on balance. My quads, ass, and abs have been brutally sore all week. I love it!
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