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Old 02-14-2019, 04:30 PM   #1 (permalink)

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What now?

I spent 14 years as a heavy alcoholic, and in 2015 quit by....getting addicted to Heroin.
I've been on Suboxone for a year and a bit and quit cold turkey from 16mg 2 weeks ago
Funnily enough, I was sick for 2 days and then fine, and am getting better daily. I drink a little. 2 small beers a day .I seem to have lost my taste for it .

However, I'm now bored. Amongst my roughly 20 years of drug and alcohol abuse I got married and had a child.

My abuse has had very little impact on my family. I still work in a mid 6 figure job. Completed a Bachelor and master's with distinction during my addiction. My wife, son and I are happy. I have no health problems except being overweight.

However, I'm bored and dissatisfied. My life consists of work, playgrounds, attending to a child constantly, rarely getting alone time with my wife etc.

Did any other guys feel like this after quitting? I feel like I went into my addiction during a party and came out during lifelong 24x7 chores.

I know it sounds selfish, and I haven't told anyone or let it be felt, but I need to know what others did to overcome this.

Thank you.
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Old 02-14-2019, 04:41 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi Jim

I think balance is important - if nothing you're doing is what you'd call fun you're going to be dissatisfied.

I don't think it's selfish to try and carve out a little downtime.

Have you got any hobbies you'd like to start or take up again? any interests?

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Old 02-15-2019, 04:32 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I understand how you're feeling, I was bored in recovery for awhile and it became mundane. But I dunno, for the last 10 years it's been a rollercoaster of fun jobs, more cool things to do than I have time for, and just life on life's terms.

There's a thread here in the Men's Room, Hobbies! What do you do for fun? Check it out, might give you some fresh thoughts?
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!"
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Old 03-11-2019, 03:57 PM   #4 (permalink)

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Hey Jim,

I can completely relate to how you are feeling. I am married and a father of 3 and I sometimes get the FOMO affect! "Fear Of Missing Out"...lol My best friends are mostly single or in short term relationships and consistently go out to have fun. I have coworkers who continuously discuss going out to relieve the stress of work and all of this is tempting to me, not going to lie.
I hear the undertone excuses in you that I had of convincing myself I was/am a "functional" addict but you and I both know there was a reason we needed to stop our addiction.
After months and months of tagging along, being the DD and watching people make complete fools of themselves, arguing and fighting, I've come to realize that in reality I'm not missing out on anything!
A lot of people, including ourselves are sick and refuse/refused to see the truth. I mean if you really break it down we used to and they still pay their hard earned money to poison themselves day in and day out.
You are very lucky to have your family, I almost lost mine and neglected them for so many years and made many mistakes! I feel like such an A-hole because they didn't want anything tangible from me, they only wanted my love, my care and my time! Addiction almost took that all away and it would have taken my life as well. My sobriety and my family mean everything to me now and I will use the time I have left to ensure them they are loved and cared about deeply.
There is a great saying that goes - "Someone is happy with far less than you have" so please be grateful and don't make the same mistakes I have and so many others have!

Hope this helps at all! God speed! =)
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Old 03-11-2019, 08:39 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR aables
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Old 04-28-2019, 09:26 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I think no matter what the situation you need a little something to look forward to. Is there a hobby you could spare some time for each week?
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