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Old 02-22-2018, 09:58 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Strip clubs and sobriety


I used to go this one club twice a week, every Thursday around and about 7 and every Sunday around and about 4PM---for over a decade (even before bit with alcoholism per se). During the last several months, I have not gone at all. And I miss it. I dig beautiful women; beautiful women dig me. This is a void that I can't seem to fill with anything else, and I know for sure that I can't go and not drink. If I go, I am *going* to drink. Simple as that. I don't think I'll ever be able to go to strip clubs sober, and remain sober while there. Which kinda sucks, given how much I've loved strip clubs, since the first time I've ever been to one.

This has been a nut that I can't crack. It's uncrackable. Strip clubs (this one especially) was my go-to place; I knew the women, the bouncers....agh! This is the only part of sobriety that I can't come to terms with. Sobriety has been great, but was so were lapdances.
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Old 02-22-2018, 02:34 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I have fortunately never been to a strip club. I thought I'd be forced to at a friends bachelor party in Vegas, but the guys didn't leave until after 1am and I begged off as tired.

Being gay is a huge part of it, but I can't stand the go-go-boys at gay bars either.

The looking and groping only thing bugs me as well. It's such a dick tease. I'd rather have a hookup.
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Old 02-22-2018, 02:41 PM   #3 (permalink)
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beautiful women dig me.

its a strip club. beautiful women dig every friggin man that walks in there.
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Old 02-22-2018, 02:45 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Never been to a strip club but from what I hear they push the drinks more than a usual bar.

You're still in the early part of recovery - it took me about 3 months to realise the things I were missing were not that great anyway.

I'm sure as time goes on you'll find things that you enjoy and make life worthwhile

D
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Old 02-22-2018, 03:06 PM   #5 (permalink)
ours de petit cerveau
 
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Quote:
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beautiful women dig my money.
fixed that for you
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Old 02-23-2018, 04:09 AM   #6 (permalink)
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fixed that for you
good catch there.
i had a short stint of checking out strip clubs. i could walk in after a day of framing houses in mid 80's temps- covered in sawdust,dirt, sweat, stink, torn jeans, smell to high heaven.
and they crooned over me just as they did when i was all G'd up.

the strip club thing didnt last long. a waste of money.

honestly,DD, it reads more like a self esteem problem than anything.
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Old 02-23-2018, 04:21 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Not a safe place for me to be in sobriety, I have no business being there anyway. The dozen or so times I did go I left penniless and blind drunk which is exactly what strip clubs are supposed to do, take as much of your money as possible by keeping you there drinking.
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Old 02-23-2018, 06:23 AM   #8 (permalink)
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i meant beautiful women, generally. But sure, dancers are there for the buck.

TS, fortunately lack of self-esteem/confidence/assuredness/efficaciousness/need for validation, aesthetic or otherwise, has never been an issue for me.
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Old 02-23-2018, 12:51 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I use to have 'meetings' with clients at some strip clubs..Well..by meetings I mean i'd 'grease up' the girls wallets to get my clients business. When I was 'getting sober'(still drinking,but not in public anymore and not to the extreme) I had I think 2-3 more 'meetings' there and called it done. It was a waste of cash and I still have their business. We now meet for food/drinks(not me). As for myself.. I've had many a day/night in 'da clubs' and every time I'd dick away waaayy too much cash on friends having a good time,drinks,drugs,ect... I have/had a strict rule of not getting lap dances(teases) for years. I mean..I've had them in the past,but it's a waste of money to me,so I made my rule. If I'm going to pay for sex, I'll take a girl to dinner or something.
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Old 02-26-2018, 06:43 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I did go to a bordello in Sydney (prostitution is legal in NSW). I was on vacation, don't judge. I have to admit that was kinda fun. Of course I was pretty drunk when I got there.

The whole thing seems very silly to me now.
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Old 03-08-2018, 12:11 PM   #11 (permalink)
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This is a great issue for a thread.

I haven't been to a strip joint since I got sober.

And I don't want to see a bunch of exploited and addicted women.

I wouldn't even feel good about it.

We have to make sacrifices to get and stay sober.

I'm afraid that going to the "performing arts centers" are just one of them.

Please don't go back, amigo.

Keep us posted.

I understand the urge completely.
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Old 05-09-2019, 06:59 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Never been to a strip club but from what I hear they push the drinks more than a usual bar.

You're still in the early part of recovery - it took me about 3 months to realise the things I were missing were not that great anyway.

I'm sure as time goes on you'll find things that you enjoy and make life worthwhile

D
That depends on the strip club and location. In Florida, to serve alcohol in a strip club, it can only be topless. No alcohol allowed in full nude.
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Old 06-14-2019, 10:02 PM   #13 (permalink)
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havent been to one in years, also would never get the lap dances. canadas full nude and serve drinks. one guy at work has never been to one and wants to go, maybe i can be the dd. up here i think most are owned by the hells angels so you dont mess around.
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