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Old 10-22-2017, 11:00 AM   #1 (permalink)

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No sex drive after quitting alcohol

Long time heavy drinker here (22yrs or so) and have recently sobered up. Iíve drank once in 14 days (which for me is major progress)
Without getting into all the details, Iíll just say that Iíve never experienced ED in my life. The woman Iím seeing has been the best, craziest and most intense sex of my life. We would go 4 or 5 times a day. Sometimes I would go twice without ever....pulling out of her. All of this while drunk off my ass or hangover day. All she would have to do is breath on me. Iím sure you guys all get the point.

Now, like other articles here and on other sites, Iím experiencing an absolute drop in sex drive and I have to really focus/try to get an erection and when I do, it seems very sporadic if it will stay erect or start going limp.

Wouldnít it make sense that my testosterone and other man functions would improve after stopping drinking? Why is it that I would be solid as a rock after 15,16, 19, 24 beers AND could have sex multiple times. Now I can barely jerk to porn!

Please, Iím really starting to worry about this. Please share your personal timelines or any changes that you made to improve things. Iím interested in personal stories as well as facts. Does testosterone drop after quitting alcohol? How did you reconnect (sexually) with your lady after sobering up?

Please send the good and the bad news!
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Old 10-22-2017, 07:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi Vincenz

no experience to share exactly but I think we underestimate the toll drinking takes on us mind and body.

It may take a few weeks of complete alcohol abstinence for things to return to normal or a few months....

If you're worried why not see a Dr anyway?

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Old 11-01-2017, 03:46 AM   #3 (permalink)

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Alcohol is linked to lowering testosterone and boosting estrogen, but it likely just comes down to the mental conditioning. I use to have to be blitzed to have sex, then after a few years the tables turned and I couldn't "perform" at all if I had been drinking even a moderate amount.
I think with time it will get better like most everything else in life, you need to find enjoyment in things without having to be drunk.
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Old 11-03-2017, 01:11 AM   #4 (permalink)

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Wow... weird to find another thread up at the top of this forum that's actually recent. I JUST typed the experience I'm going through right now with it. I couldn't find any medical explanation googling it, then I found that thread. Just to go on here and find another one from more recent. Wish I typed that here...

I went through withdrawals recently (second time), and it was crazy how horny I was man. Like, I feel horrible... but I've never had to rub one out so many times. Then, to have a hard-on just keep coming back soon after.

Still just about a week later for me, so I still have a little bit of it. However, nothing like those couple of initial days. Both times, I had to keep my damn laptop next to bed for material whenever it popped up, because at a point... I knew it wasn't stopping.

The first time died down slowly after the first few days, and then went away after a couple of weeks completely. Hope that's a reference point of some kind for you. Just my personal experience.
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Old 12-09-2017, 05:46 AM   #5 (permalink)
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In my experience, the first week or two was kinda flat for me. I just wasn't aroused or anything (my wife actually began to wonder.... she didn't know I had quit at that point).

I would say that after things came back, it was quality over quantity. That's the best way I can describe it. And my wife was a lot happier!!
Regards - Steve

"Life ain't about how hard you can hit, but about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward!" Rocky Balboa

"A man who misleads others in public will soon find he misleads himself in private." Warren Buffet
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Old 06-10-2018, 07:01 AM   #6 (permalink)

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The brain is an amazing thing

The libido thing is the biggest mystery to me. I was sexual and passionate as hell prior to the time that I quit drinking altogether. That was over 3 years ago. I am enjoying many, if not most everything in life short of my passion.

My libido is basically zero. Physically there is no issue at all. My interest in this area went from all-on to zero. I use to have a great passion to write, paint, and loved flirting with the opposite sex. Now that had totally vanished.

I have tried the Viagra route. That does nothing for my interest. It increases all the things it is supposed to do, but the drive is no longer there. I certainly miss that spring fever feeling and the passion that I use to have. But I am not depressed, emotional, or insecure. I cannot understand the reason. If I figured out what works for me I will come back and report. But for the last several years there has been nothing that excites me at all. Still seeking the answer.
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Old 06-10-2018, 04:47 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR

Sorry to hear that Strawman - seen any doctors or therapists about it?

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Old 06-17-2018, 01:11 PM   #8 (permalink)

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Booze,pills and powder were such an intregal part of my sex life for years that I went 'blank' for a while getting sober..and that's OK. I ended a longterm relationship when I got sober,so I don't have the 'pressure' that the opposite sex can give ya,on that front. Just slow down and focus on your main goal..NO MORE, is my advice. It should balance out with time, but I hear stories from my married friends and see how hard(pun intended) it can be when in a relationship. Consider yoursefl a virgin and you're "saving yourself" are saving yourself in the grand scheme of things.

Edit: I'll say too: That the women I was 'pursuing' in my drinking days, did not interest me when sober,so there was that.
'Dumb' it down as much as you can....makes it WAYYYY easier!!
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Old 06-22-2018, 07:36 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Strawman, google anhedonia, it's a symptom of depression. It's where you aren't feeling sad or depressed, but "the salt has lost its savor" in life. The good just isn't good anymore. It's treatable.

My 57th birthday is next Thursday. I've been seeing several men who are in their late 20s/early 30s. They can't keep up with me sexually, and have commented. I credit this to being in better physical shape than I've been since my early 30s and also to not drinking and drugging.

Sex in the gay world, particularly in urban centers, is often (tragically) linked to drugs, particularly meth. Someone asked me last week what the best drug is for sex. I honestly had to answer that sober sex is better by far than sex under the influence of anything. I'm feeling like I'm 19 again. I really should settle down...but I'm having a lot of fun at the moment. There will be time enough for that soon.

I don't think being gay really makes a difference here, but I'm not sure what it would had been like if I'd been in a long term sexual relationship when I got sober. I think learning to be sexual again with the same person without drugs would have been strange. Since I basically spent years drinking and partying instead of having sex that wasn't an issue.
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