Finally Ready to Kick The Habbit
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 156
Reviving this after my slip up. Day 5 and suffering with anxiety and insomnia. I know I can get back to where I was and I am going to do everything in my power to staff off it for the rest of my life.
What I have learned from being sober for the majority of the last year is that life is better without weed. My brain tries to trick me into how great it was to get high, but that’s all it is, a trick. Sure I might have a few times where I enjoy being high, but ultimately I start the negative addictive spiral of planning my entire day around weed, hiding the extent of my addiction from the people who love me, isolating myself and inevitably feeling anxious, ashamed and pathetic. I was even too ashamed to check in here because I felt like a massive fraud.
The last few months have been a wake up call. No matter how long I have been sober, I will never be able to smoke without it spiralling. There is no ‘just one smoke’. There is being sober and happy or using a miserable.
Reading back over this thread, I don’t think I fully understood that this an all or nothing thing. A reminder to me in the future: if you’re thinking of having one smoke, this is where it will end up.
What I have learned from being sober for the majority of the last year is that life is better without weed. My brain tries to trick me into how great it was to get high, but that’s all it is, a trick. Sure I might have a few times where I enjoy being high, but ultimately I start the negative addictive spiral of planning my entire day around weed, hiding the extent of my addiction from the people who love me, isolating myself and inevitably feeling anxious, ashamed and pathetic. I was even too ashamed to check in here because I felt like a massive fraud.
The last few months have been a wake up call. No matter how long I have been sober, I will never be able to smoke without it spiralling. There is no ‘just one smoke’. There is being sober and happy or using a miserable.
Reading back over this thread, I don’t think I fully understood that this an all or nothing thing. A reminder to me in the future: if you’re thinking of having one smoke, this is where it will end up.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 156
Today has been tough. Very emotional. Supposed to be starting a new job in two weeks. Will be my first time working in an office for over 5 years. Feeling really scared that I’ll be too anxious to start, and feel like a pathetic failure because of this. I think the worry over changing career was the main trigger point in me smoking again too. Being hard on myself for not recognising the signs and letting my good habits and strategies slip.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I think everyone feels that way starting a job Ronantian. Your new bosses must have faith in you to have offered you the job, so I think it’s reasonable to have a little faith in yourself? 
I used to work in an office too. You’re better off staying sharp not woolly headed from getting high the night before or whatever.
D
I used to work in an office too. You’re better off staying sharp not woolly headed from getting high the night before or whatever.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 156
Really anxious the last two days. Day 7 today. I won’t be getting high again. That part of my life is done. I just wish I could have learned this lesson before I relapsed. Feel angry with myself for sabotaging my well being.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
