someday147

Hi all day 83 off Weed and booze. No thoughts of alcohol but for the past few days weed has worked it's way into my mind again. I'm in AA doing really well and this is the point I reached in my last recovery where weed took me back out again. I continue to go to meetings and do healthy things but it won't leave me alone I don't know what to do. Figured I would post i'm not going to use but I feel if these thoughts continue I will weaken.

Thanks

venuscat

I was on that same bike ride for a very long time. Sober and then started smoking again. And then of course started drinking again as well.

My best advice is pick up an NA meeting....I know some AA meetings are a bit fussy re sharing about other drugs.
That is why I started going to NA....weed was my only drug other than alcohol, but I really needed help. Group help. s xx

someday147

Thanks Venus yeah I find it tough to find others in real life who's other drug was weed i'm the same it was my only other drug other than alcohol too. Thank you for the advice I figured NA was for harder drugs.

venuscat

It is just a thought... s

I spent a lot of time talking to a drug and alcohol counsellor as well. I needed someone who understood.
I think starting this thread was a great idea.....I think you will see there are lots of who have been down this road and truly do get it.

Lpg

Hey someday

83 days is a great achievement, don’t give in to the temptation! I have been alcohol free for 4 years in November but gave myself a pass on weed (self medicating) and I do regret it very much. I feel like it has really overshadowed my pride in my alcohol free time and honestly if it leads you back to drinking it’s not a risk worth taking. I’ve been trying to actively quit now for 3 years.

like Venuscat I have been doing work with drug and alcohol counselling recently and it’s helping me massively, worth looking into. Keep up the good work

Dee74

hey someday

You've done the right thing to speak about the urge, shine a light on it and beat it back.

Weed was very hard for me to give up.
I kept comparing it to my alcohol addiction and thinking/rationalising this was not as bad.

Of course the reality was it was just as bad - I had the same incessant urge to be wasted as much as possible, the same avoiding of responsibilities, the same drive to escape reality, the same self disgust later.

It was simply another leaky boat on the same sea of crud I found myself on with alcohol.

D

FlyingDutchMan

Hey Someday, those thoughts are so so familiar to me. I quit for almost two years and they would not leave me alone. Not all day, every day but they kept coming back, In the end I caved but I can tell you in hindsight: I should have stuck with quitting no matter what. I had a romantic image in my head which I am still chasing, to no avail really. Please don't make the same mistake I made.

someday147

Thanks for the replies folks good to know i'm not alone with these thoughts. I woke up today and thoughts where still there but they have now left me at least for now thankfully. Did the thoughts lessen over time for you Dee and FDM?

FlyingDutchMan

They did, but when I was having those thoughts, they seemed to go on forever. That was how I experienced them.

I can guarantee you one thing: start smoking again and you will want to stop again. No doubt about it.

Your mind makes you think that smoking again will solve everything. Well, it doesn’t by a long shot. You might not crave weed anymore but it brings a whole new set of problems.

Another thing that might help you to stay off the stuff…when you smoke for the first time after a long period of going without, the sensation is not a pleasant one. I felt uptight, couldn’t sleep well, my heart was pounding and I felt anxious. You would think that would make a person do the sensible thing: give it up again. Sadly that’s not how addiction works and I was puffing away the next evening.

Wishing you strength and a complete abstinence from cravings!

Dee74

Hi someday

yeah they did - it’s been many many years since I had a craving to get high.

Not going to lie tho - that desire, although not there all the time, and although growing weaker, persisted stubbornly for quite awhile.

I really had to double down on the reality that pot was every bit as self destructive for me as alcohol was.

D

someday147

Thanks Dee and FDM really appreciate these responses. I have made every effort today to get to meetings and share most importantly. I decided to go to a zoom I had never been to so I could get out of the familiar and it really helped. I remind myself constantly how pot is just as self destructive for me as alcohol but my AV knows it's my weak spot which is probably why it's working hard on that angle as I haven't even thought of a drink in months.

FlyingDutchMan

Keep at it buddy, you can do it!

venuscat

Just a thought, but maybe this will appeal to you. Marijuana Anonymous Online meetings. s

https://marijuana-anonymous.org/find-a-meeting/

someday147

Wow Thank you VenusCat I just got to a meeting and shared am so grateful right now thank you so much

venuscat

So glad dear someday. ❤️

someday147

Day 88 now still sober although have struggled with cravings not as intense today so far thankfully . The MA meetings have been helpful and i'm grateful for them and for the support of this forum.

FreeOwl

all. Of. This.

someday147

Hi all

Just thought I would update this thread rather than start a new one. Day 101 today longest i've ever been weed/alcohol free . I have been working hard on recovery and am pleased to say no cravings since day 86 or so not even a thought of using. This is very pleasing as fighting cravings is exhausting at least I know now if or when they come again and I do the right thing they can disappear for much longer periods than I thought which is a huge relief Thanks to everyone for the support

venuscat

Congrats on 101 days dear someday!!! s ❤️

FreeOwl

congratulations!!! this is so awesome.

I'm still stuck in the spin cycle.... succumbing to cravings, rationalizing, giving myself 'do-overs'. The usual nonsense.