Beginning Again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 23
Day 1.
Well I smoked last night. Only a little and as soon as I did it and felt stoned I felt like crap. My AV won. It was telling me it's only a little bit of weed and I've given up everything else so it's not THAT bad. It's like I want to give up smoking weed so badly but I also don't want to feel how giving it up makes me feel. Just need to get past the initial stages I guess.
Back to day 1 because I am NOT giving up quitting this time.
Thanks for reading.
xx
Well I smoked last night. Only a little and as soon as I did it and felt stoned I felt like crap. My AV won. It was telling me it's only a little bit of weed and I've given up everything else so it's not THAT bad. It's like I want to give up smoking weed so badly but I also don't want to feel how giving it up makes me feel. Just need to get past the initial stages I guess.
Back to day 1 because I am NOT giving up quitting this time.
Thanks for reading.
xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
Isn't is funny how awful we feel after smoking while trying to quit? Pot is supposed to make you feel good, but has the opposite effect.
Hang onto the memory, that feeling, and try to remember that the next time you crave.
I promise you, the longer you go without, the easier it gets. You just have to give it time.
The first 2 weeks are the hardest, but you can do it.
Have you gotten rid of all your paraphernalia? The door will swing open if it is ajar.
Hang in there!
Hang onto the memory, that feeling, and try to remember that the next time you crave.
I promise you, the longer you go without, the easier it gets. You just have to give it time.
The first 2 weeks are the hardest, but you can do it.
Have you gotten rid of all your paraphernalia? The door will swing open if it is ajar.
Hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 251
My Av says the same thing! You dont drink, smoke cigs, do any hard drugs, its much safer than booze etc., Its no big deal! You cant be perfect, everyone has a vice etc., Its very easy to convince myself of this.
But then internally.. there is this whisper of a person who says "what if" "who would I be if I was completely free". I am trying very hard to listen to that whisper and to help it grow into a strong wind.
But then internally.. there is this whisper of a person who says "what if" "who would I be if I was completely free". I am trying very hard to listen to that whisper and to help it grow into a strong wind.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
Welcome austina. This is an amazing place for support and education.
Read as many threads as you can, not just this one.
There's a ton of inspiration and cautionary tales.
I especially recommend the Sticky "Reasons why life is better without weed".
And post as much as you want, even if it's just to complain.
We get it! Been there, done that.
And it is doable, if you want it bad enough.
Read as many threads as you can, not just this one.
There's a ton of inspiration and cautionary tales.
I especially recommend the Sticky "Reasons why life is better without weed".
And post as much as you want, even if it's just to complain.
We get it! Been there, done that.
And it is doable, if you want it bad enough.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 23
Day 1.
AGAIN. feeling a bit silly to keep coming back on here and saying Day 1 over and over again but I guess it is better than just resigning myself to a lifetime of walking around in a fog of weed smoke.
I've thrown away all of my paraphernalia, thanks for the advice Lynnmarie.
Have also told my buddy that I usually smoke with that I won't be smoking anymore so if he wants to hang out, we will have to do it away from his house (our usual smoking spot). He seemed to take it pretty well so we shall see how it goes.
If anyone has any advice for me, please comment. Feeling a bit lost and deflated at the moment.
Welcome to the forum Austina!
xx
AGAIN. feeling a bit silly to keep coming back on here and saying Day 1 over and over again but I guess it is better than just resigning myself to a lifetime of walking around in a fog of weed smoke.
I've thrown away all of my paraphernalia, thanks for the advice Lynnmarie.
Have also told my buddy that I usually smoke with that I won't be smoking anymore so if he wants to hang out, we will have to do it away from his house (our usual smoking spot). He seemed to take it pretty well so we shall see how it goes.
If anyone has any advice for me, please comment. Feeling a bit lost and deflated at the moment.
Welcome to the forum Austina!
xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by icandothis20 
My Av says the same thing! You dont drink, smoke cigs, do any hard drugs, its much safer than booze etc., Its no big deal! You cant be perfect, everyone has a vice etc., Its very easy to convince myself of this.
But then internally.. there is this whisper of a person who says "what if" "who would I be if I was completely free". I am trying very hard to listen to that whisper and to help it grow into a strong wind.
But then internally.. there is this whisper of a person who says "what if" "who would I be if I was completely free". I am trying very hard to listen to that whisper and to help it grow into a strong wind.
I really like how you described, 'the whisper' I have exactly the same thing.
xx
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Theres a recovery toolbox thread at the top of the forum - I reckon some of the links will have some helpful ideas for all you guys just starting off 
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ful-links.html (Recovery Toolbox - helpful links)
D
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ful-links.html (Recovery Toolbox - helpful links)
D
Originally Posted by Shewhodares
Day 1.
AGAIN. feeling a bit silly to keep coming back on here and saying Day 1 over and over again but I guess it is better than just resigning myself to a lifetime of walking around in a fog of weed smoke.
I've thrown away all of my paraphernalia, thanks for the advice Lynnmarie.
Have also told my buddy that I usually smoke with that I won't be smoking anymore so if he wants to hang out, we will have to do it away from his house (our usual smoking spot). He seemed to take it pretty well so we shall see how it goes.
If anyone has any advice for me, please comment. Feeling a bit lost and deflated at the moment.
Welcome to the forum Austina!
xx
AGAIN. feeling a bit silly to keep coming back on here and saying Day 1 over and over again but I guess it is better than just resigning myself to a lifetime of walking around in a fog of weed smoke.
I've thrown away all of my paraphernalia, thanks for the advice Lynnmarie.
Have also told my buddy that I usually smoke with that I won't be smoking anymore so if he wants to hang out, we will have to do it away from his house (our usual smoking spot). He seemed to take it pretty well so we shall see how it goes.
If anyone has any advice for me, please comment. Feeling a bit lost and deflated at the moment.
Welcome to the forum Austina!
xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
Another day one is nothing to be ashamed of. It would be a shame if you didn't try.
I know of no one who quit on the first try. It's part of addiction.
Took quite a while for me but now I'm happy to say I have 2 years of sobriety.
If I hadn't continued to try, I would never have discovered how different I am without weed.
Keep trying!
I know of no one who quit on the first try. It's part of addiction.
Took quite a while for me but now I'm happy to say I have 2 years of sobriety.
If I hadn't continued to try, I would never have discovered how different I am without weed.
Keep trying!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 251
Hey dont beat yourself up - I had a slip too and smoked- but I know that I am eventually going to be rid of this beast for good- I just know it. The biggest thing is that you never stop trying. Each time you learn something new about yourself, your triggers and you get better at dealing with them.
its funny because after I smoke I dont even really like it. I just turn into this comatose, hungry zombie. I cant focus or even enjoy TV shows, but yet then the next night Im like "Id love to smoke one and watch a movie." In reality, I get a bit high for 20 minutes, and then im super hungry, tired, and cant focus worth **** or even get into the movie and just fall asleep....
Im not even sure I smoke to 'enhance' things, I smoke to shut down my brain.
its funny because after I smoke I dont even really like it. I just turn into this comatose, hungry zombie. I cant focus or even enjoy TV shows, but yet then the next night Im like "Id love to smoke one and watch a movie." In reality, I get a bit high for 20 minutes, and then im super hungry, tired, and cant focus worth **** or even get into the movie and just fall asleep....
Im not even sure I smoke to 'enhance' things, I smoke to shut down my brain.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
When I quit I knew it would be really easy to start smoking again...
my addictions favourite line was hey you're not drinking...that's a real achievement - but you need something to take the edge off.
The truth was I didn't need anything to take the edge off - I've grown to genuinely love being fully present in my life, even the bad days.
D
my addictions favourite line was hey you're not drinking...that's a real achievement - but you need something to take the edge off.
The truth was I didn't need anything to take the edge off - I've grown to genuinely love being fully present in my life, even the bad days.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 754
It's all sounding very familiar to me! Thanks for sharing it with us.
Isn't it a funny (but frustrating) thing, this daily cycle of wanting to smoke, actually doing it, not liking it, being disappointed with the whole experience and doing the same thing the next day. Feels like you're chasing ghosts, wanting to relive the experience you probably had when you just tried marijuana. I kept it up for the better part of 22 years
I've did my fair share of using other drugs besides pot and it always comes down to the same thing: trying to reach that illusionary point of feeling fantastic and having inner peace and contentment. The only reason we keep on using is because we are feeling like crap when we're not using it.
It's time to face the fact that smoking pot only helps in elevating withdrawl symptoms but does nothing for you in any other way. You're past that point and I think that there's no way back to pot-heaven (even if it exists) once you've been addicted to it.
It's a hard thing to do, but keep in mind that for the next couple of weeks you only have one mission in life: don't use. Eveything else is possible, but not that. Prepare mentally for a hard time ahead. It really gets easier after the first weeks and when you look back on it, the early stages don't take that long. You need to break the cycle and we're here to help you do it.
Isn't it a funny (but frustrating) thing, this daily cycle of wanting to smoke, actually doing it, not liking it, being disappointed with the whole experience and doing the same thing the next day. Feels like you're chasing ghosts, wanting to relive the experience you probably had when you just tried marijuana. I kept it up for the better part of 22 years
I've did my fair share of using other drugs besides pot and it always comes down to the same thing: trying to reach that illusionary point of feeling fantastic and having inner peace and contentment. The only reason we keep on using is because we are feeling like crap when we're not using it.
It's time to face the fact that smoking pot only helps in elevating withdrawl symptoms but does nothing for you in any other way. You're past that point and I think that there's no way back to pot-heaven (even if it exists) once you've been addicted to it.
It's a hard thing to do, but keep in mind that for the next couple of weeks you only have one mission in life: don't use. Eveything else is possible, but not that. Prepare mentally for a hard time ahead. It really gets easier after the first weeks and when you look back on it, the early stages don't take that long. You need to break the cycle and we're here to help you do it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
Pot, all mind altering substances are insidious. Always offering that promise of relief and enjoyment.
Smoking pot to take the edge off is an illusion since pot is creating the "edge" in the first place. It's supposed to mellow you out but is causing the opposite.
I used to be so uptight, fly off the handle at the slightest thing and hold grudges until the end of time. So, I'd smoke some pot to smooth things out.
Now that I've been clean for a while, I'm like a different person.
Happy and even tempered. Mellow.
I liken it to the effect that alcohol has on the body. It causes shakes, which then can be alleviated by drinking alcohol which causes more shakes, etc. And the cycle goes on and on.
The cure creates the symptoms.
Smoking pot to take the edge off is an illusion since pot is creating the "edge" in the first place. It's supposed to mellow you out but is causing the opposite.
I used to be so uptight, fly off the handle at the slightest thing and hold grudges until the end of time. So, I'd smoke some pot to smooth things out.
Now that I've been clean for a while, I'm like a different person.
Happy and even tempered. Mellow.
I liken it to the effect that alcohol has on the body. It causes shakes, which then can be alleviated by drinking alcohol which causes more shakes, etc. And the cycle goes on and on.
The cure creates the symptoms.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 30
Ha
Originally Posted by Shewhodares
Hi Ican,
Thanks for your comment. It's good to know that it gets better after the first 2 weeks. I gave into my AV last night and smoked. I'm so p****d at myself this morning!
I'll definitely check out that book, thanks for the recommendation.
Hope you have a good day!
xx
Thanks for your comment. It's good to know that it gets better after the first 2 weeks. I gave into my AV last night and smoked. I'm so p****d at myself this morning!
I'll definitely check out that book, thanks for the recommendation.
Hope you have a good day!
xx
We can both do this. Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 31
@shewhodares, you got this. I remember constantly
saying tomorrow i’ll give up or when the last day of the month creeps around, i’ll say “ah tomorrow is the first day of the month, i’ll quit tomorrow.” But there is no winning or making deals with eachother haha. Unfortunately for me, i did let all my buddies know of my situation, some took it fondly and others to offense but my two cents is to just stay away. Change your phone number, erase social media (saying this because i did it, others didnt have to go to the extreme, but it is working for me.), add a circle of equal minded people with the same connection. YOU GOT THIS, one step at a time, sometimes a hour at a time, currently i am 359 hours clean and i will keep going baby. Unlock your spiritually, and you wont regret it, the connection with a High Power is reachable !
saying tomorrow i’ll give up or when the last day of the month creeps around, i’ll say “ah tomorrow is the first day of the month, i’ll quit tomorrow.” But there is no winning or making deals with eachother haha. Unfortunately for me, i did let all my buddies know of my situation, some took it fondly and others to offense but my two cents is to just stay away. Change your phone number, erase social media (saying this because i did it, others didnt have to go to the extreme, but it is working for me.), add a circle of equal minded people with the same connection. YOU GOT THIS, one step at a time, sometimes a hour at a time, currently i am 359 hours clean and i will keep going baby. Unlock your spiritually, and you wont regret it, the connection with a High Power is reachable !
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Northern Ireland, UK
Posts: 455
"When I quit I knew it would be really easy to start smoking again...
my addictions favourite line was hey you're not drinking...that's a real achievement - but you need something to take the edge off.
The truth was I didn't need anything to take the edge off - I've grown to genuinely love being fully present in my life, even the bad days."
D
This post has resonated so much with me Dee thank you. Am on day 6 after stopping weed and alcohol cold turkey and my av is saying exactly that, i'm not drinking but need something to take the edge off. Good luck Shewhodares and Icandothis20 you're not alone we CAN do this.
my addictions favourite line was hey you're not drinking...that's a real achievement - but you need something to take the edge off.
The truth was I didn't need anything to take the edge off - I've grown to genuinely love being fully present in my life, even the bad days."
D
This post has resonated so much with me Dee thank you. Am on day 6 after stopping weed and alcohol cold turkey and my av is saying exactly that, i'm not drinking but need something to take the edge off. Good luck Shewhodares and Icandothis20 you're not alone we CAN do this.
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