my update
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 314
This has been a blessing to read flyingdutchman , I keep having this same fantasy of picking pot back up. The sheer horror of imagining quitting again is enough to make me grateful to have gotten this far. Thank you for the inspiration to continue the journey of life in this guest house sober.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 970
Originally Posted by Windytown 
um well--- did some smoking again after 174 days sober.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 139
Thanks, friends. I don't really know yet. So far its been about two weeks since I smoked and I have smoked a few days and not smoked a few days of it-- I cant remember exactly. Currently havent smoked for two or three days, before that smoked maybe 4 days, and before that didnt smoke for 6 or so, and then the first round of about 4 days of smoking. When I smoked it was about 2 or 3 hits a day.
Not sure what will happen now- I have so much going on trying still with health issues and other things--- I am not really stressed about the smoking at the moment, there are other things that are more of a focus-- so I just don't know. Have had some improvements with health but some stuff still difficult so that is really my main focus still.
Not sure what will happen now- I have so much going on trying still with health issues and other things--- I am not really stressed about the smoking at the moment, there are other things that are more of a focus-- so I just don't know. Have had some improvements with health but some stuff still difficult so that is really my main focus still.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 139
and I know- I am aware that addiction is a slippery slope- I am not fooling myself. I just really wanted to try it out a bit. I am not sure right now what direction I will go from this point. So far it has not been hard to stop and start but I know that is only the case in the beginning and then it gets its claws in me.
What happened was, it was a particularly stressful time. And within a few months ago a new legal pot place opened up about an hour form me. And I had never been to a legal pot place as it is new to my area. So I had been looking online on their menu- even when I wasnt smoking, because I know most of the new stuff is way too high thc level- like over 20% thc and I just hate that. Back in my heyday it was 7 or 8% thc which is much better I think. So I had been looking on their menu and the lowest they had was like 16%. Then one day during a particularly stressful period I saw they had an 11% one which was the lowest- so I just felt like it- went there, got some pre rolled joints- smoked a bit. Really pretty mellow stuff, did not really cause too much anxiety- you know in the beginning it can be helpful. helped me with some things- after a few days I started to see the underbelly of it- a bit of fear happenning- so took a week off, thhen tried it again for a few days. Etc. So now I dont know, I am not that focused on it as much as I was in past times. I am not smoking at the moment menaning I think day 3 sober after 3 days of smoking- .I just dont know. it has good and bad I guess.
What happened was, it was a particularly stressful time. And within a few months ago a new legal pot place opened up about an hour form me. And I had never been to a legal pot place as it is new to my area. So I had been looking online on their menu- even when I wasnt smoking, because I know most of the new stuff is way too high thc level- like over 20% thc and I just hate that. Back in my heyday it was 7 or 8% thc which is much better I think. So I had been looking on their menu and the lowest they had was like 16%. Then one day during a particularly stressful period I saw they had an 11% one which was the lowest- so I just felt like it- went there, got some pre rolled joints- smoked a bit. Really pretty mellow stuff, did not really cause too much anxiety- you know in the beginning it can be helpful. helped me with some things- after a few days I started to see the underbelly of it- a bit of fear happenning- so took a week off, thhen tried it again for a few days. Etc. So now I dont know, I am not that focused on it as much as I was in past times. I am not smoking at the moment menaning I think day 3 sober after 3 days of smoking- .I just dont know. it has good and bad I guess.
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