Trying to quit smoking weed for good
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 21
Trying to quit smoking weed for good
Hello, I'm new to this forum but can definitely relate to what I have read in this forum. I'm a daily pot smoker and have been for the last 20 years. I am 20 days sober and do feel a little better but my emotions are all over the place. I'm currently separated from my wife (the 2nd time due to my drinking and smoking weed). The first time about 8 years ago. I voluntarily went to treatment and then went to AA. I managed to stay sober for about 6 months. Got back together with my wife and promptly quit going to AA and was drinking and smoking daily within a few months. I'm 39 years old and want to get rid of these habits for good. I want to be the best me that I can be for myself, my kids and if things workout my wife. I can't be that person getting lit up everyday. What scares me is that I thought this same thing the first time **** hit the fan. Then when things died down and we got back together , I started right back up again. I guess I thought I could handle it and would just have a few drinks here and there and smoke every now and then. I know that is not uncommon for people like me and that is scary and discouraging. My emotions are all over the place right now and I feel like a mess. Why do I keep doing this to myself...... I want weed and alcohol out of my life for good.... this has caused to much turmoil and destruction in my life...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
Hi DtotheP and welcome to the forum.
You will find lots of support and help here. I recommend reading the threads here and posting a lot.
It is possible to quit the addictions, you just gotta want it bad enough.
Congrats on 20 days sober!
You will find lots of support and help here. I recommend reading the threads here and posting a lot.
It is possible to quit the addictions, you just gotta want it bad enough.
Congrats on 20 days sober!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Dto the P - I made those promises too - & lost two seperate partners..
I didn't really understand that the promise needed consistent action behind it.
I was thinking in terms of I'll stop for a while and then I'll be able to dabble a little.
I was thinking diet when what I really needed was lifestyle change.
The transition period is not easy, but my life has changed completely in terms of what it was when I was drinking and toking...
it's so far and beyond better, it's ridiculous.
I hope you'll find that too
I didn't really understand that the promise needed consistent action behind it.
I was thinking in terms of I'll stop for a while and then I'll be able to dabble a little.
I was thinking diet when what I really needed was lifestyle change.
The transition period is not easy, but my life has changed completely in terms of what it was when I was drinking and toking...
it's so far and beyond better, it's ridiculous.
I hope you'll find that too
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 754
Welcome DtotheP!
Wrote a long reply to your opening post and then the laptop crashes. Here goes in recreating it.
Congratulations on 20 days sober. Like yourself I find it weird that we do things that are harmful to ourselves and the ones around us. And we keep doing them, even when we don't really want to. Then why don't we quit? A discussion that is very familiar to me.
Although I haven't cracked the long-term-sobriety-code myself I've come to realise that I have to change something in my life if I want to stay off the pot for good. Simply cutting out weed of the equasion is not enough. I can't expect to do everything the same as before, but now without weed, and feel great about it. It reminds me too much of the old life and I have the feeling I am missing something.
That's by far the hardest part about quitting. Doing things differently. We're so used to doing things in a certain way, especially when you smoked for 20 years (like I did myself).
Best of luck! Keep us informed.
Wrote a long reply to your opening post and then the laptop crashes. Here goes in recreating it.
Congratulations on 20 days sober. Like yourself I find it weird that we do things that are harmful to ourselves and the ones around us. And we keep doing them, even when we don't really want to. Then why don't we quit? A discussion that is very familiar to me.
Although I haven't cracked the long-term-sobriety-code myself I've come to realise that I have to change something in my life if I want to stay off the pot for good. Simply cutting out weed of the equasion is not enough. I can't expect to do everything the same as before, but now without weed, and feel great about it. It reminds me too much of the old life and I have the feeling I am missing something.
That's by far the hardest part about quitting. Doing things differently. We're so used to doing things in a certain way, especially when you smoked for 20 years (like I did myself).
Best of luck! Keep us informed.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 21
thank you all for the encouragement. I went to a meeting last night and it felt good to go. However this morning I feel really sad about my current situation. I hate being separated from my wife again. Keeping my emotions in check is so hard right now, I feel all over the place.
You are right Dutchman, why do we keep doing this when it affects the ones we love. It makes me feel angry and weak... I'm glad I found this forum though, I think it will be helpful through this journey.
You are right Dutchman, why do we keep doing this when it affects the ones we love. It makes me feel angry and weak... I'm glad I found this forum though, I think it will be helpful through this journey.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 754
I hope it will be. I've noticed with myself that feelings and emotions can change very rapidly when withdrawing from pot-addiction. Of course I've not been in a situation where I've become separated from my girlfriend as you have become of your wife. That must be really hard. Best of luck, check in here often. It does help!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 21
Today was a pretty good day, dropped my kids off at my wifes new apartment. Helped her get the wifi and kids bunk beds set up. Went to eat lunch with my parents and then went to the gym for about 2 hours. Sauna, ran, sauna some more. Then went to a meeting and then got a few groceries for home. I feel pretty good today. I did have thoughts during the meeting of what the hell am I doing here, I dont want to have to do this to stay sober. I don't need to do this to stay sober. Makes me feel like a loser. Oh well, I guess that is how it goes. I am meeting with my sponsor tomorrow so I guess I will talk to him about it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 61
Think of it this way. If you continue to go to meetings and stay sober you won’t be a ‘loser’. You’ve lost everything so you have nothing to lose by going to the meetings.
The meetings are helping you to be a winner. The meetings are going to help you win back your life, your wife, your kids, your health and your self esteem.
It sounds to me like you need to change your thinking about those meetings - they’re for the winners not the losers!
Keep going!
The meetings are helping you to be a winner. The meetings are going to help you win back your life, your wife, your kids, your health and your self esteem.
It sounds to me like you need to change your thinking about those meetings - they’re for the winners not the losers!
Keep going!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Its pretty common.
I wanted to stop smoking but not change my life, and not put any effort into not smoking - and that of course was not realistic.
Recovery means change - but it's good change, or they;d be no one stayong sober, ever.
D
I wanted to stop smoking but not change my life, and not put any effort into not smoking - and that of course was not realistic.
Recovery means change - but it's good change, or they;d be no one stayong sober, ever.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 21
This week was a long week, staying busy with work, gym, meetings, and nights with the kids but not sleeping well and I've been tired. Lots of up and down emotions and really feeling a little crazy. Not in a wanting to hurt myself kind of way just up and down and all over the place. Thinking too much about the future and the past, not living in the moment. Its tiring. Then tonight I was showing a house to some clients and in the basement of this house was a sweet kegerator. We opened it to see what kind of beer was in it, Lagunitas IPA. Immediately I start having thoughts of drinking, hard craving. Thinking like **** all this sobriety ****. I can have a beer if I want to. We wrote an offer on the house so I can celebrate right!? Its crazy how quickly those thoughts come rushing back. I've really been thinking tonight if I really want to do this. I can just say **** it, leave my wife and do what I want. I don't need her telling me I can't have a beer now and then. Do I really believe if we get back together that I'm NEVER going to smoke or drink again?? Ugh, I just feel lost and pissed off. I don't have the kids this weekend so I will be spending a lot of time working, at the gym, going to meetings and getting some stuff done around the house so I think I will feel better but damn, feeling confused and torn really sucks...... Good thing is I didn't drink. I picked up the kids, ate dinner with them at my parents and picked up a movie. Now sitting here chilling with the kids watching Ferdinand , and typing to you guys. Tomorrows another day. 30 days sober on Monday so looking forward to that.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
It's really hard at first. Being torn sucks.
But one thing you can ask yourself when you are facing that inner struggle:
Do you control weed (drugs, booze, whatever) or does weed control you?
Keep posting. It helps.
And remember, it will get better. I promise.
But one thing you can ask yourself when you are facing that inner struggle:
Do you control weed (drugs, booze, whatever) or does weed control you?
Keep posting. It helps.
And remember, it will get better. I promise.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 21
30 Days! I am happy about that. Although my life is a bit of a mess right now, this gives me hope. Hope that better days are ahead. If I stay sober, and keep doing the things I am supposed to I will be better for it. A better man, father, husband, coworker, a better person in general. Its kind of crazy both times I have gotten sober the hardest part hasn't been not smoking or drinking. Its been being separated from my family. All the turmoil keeps me focused on just that, the turmoil. I worry, cry like a little girl, I'm fearful, discontent. Both times though I've stayed consistent on a couple of things. Going to meetings is very helpful to me, I read like crazy (something I love to do but never did when I was drinking and smoking) praying, journaling and hitting it hard at the gym. With this combination of things my life SLOWLY gets better. One thing I do struggle with is acceptance of my situation. I'm constantly looking for reassurance from my wife that this is going to work out, she reassures me, then the next day I am seeking it again. Its like instead of taking that bong hit to feel good, I need a hit of reassurance to make me feel good. I know this wears my wife out, and really doesn't help either one of us. I do feel I'm slowly getting better. Turning my will over to a Higher Power, but it is hard. Anyway 30 days behind me, today I feel good about that.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 754
You have every right to! It would have been so easy to do what you always did. But you didn't and you showed character. Congratulations on that!
There's a lot going on in your life right now and no wonder you're struggling. Not numbing yourself with alcohol and pot also creates a lot more awareness. In the first weeks I scared myself with all the stuff I had not taken care of while smoking every day. Some days you'll feel as if you are never going to conquer in all. But there will be good days as well. And they will be more plenty as time goes on. There really is truth in the saying: one day at a time.
I really hope things work out between you and your wife. Stay strong buddy!
There's a lot going on in your life right now and no wonder you're struggling. Not numbing yourself with alcohol and pot also creates a lot more awareness. In the first weeks I scared myself with all the stuff I had not taken care of while smoking every day. Some days you'll feel as if you are never going to conquer in all. But there will be good days as well. And they will be more plenty as time goes on. There really is truth in the saying: one day at a time.
I really hope things work out between you and your wife. Stay strong buddy!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 21
Thanks for checking in FDM. Still going strong, 40 days sober today, which is pretty awesome. I have been feeling better about my situation. I’ve been talking to my sponsor a lot about acceptance and reading a lot on it as well. It’s helped me a lot to just go with the flow. I haven’t asked my wife anything about the future since Sunday and I really haven’t been worrying about it. I’m just trusting that good will come out of this situation either way. If I stay sober my life will be better and I will be healthier. My wife did call me last night to see how I was doing and we had a good conversation so that was good. I really feel like I’m starting to level out and feeling pretty good most days. I’m still staying active at the gym and that helps a lot to. Here’s to another sober day!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
