My Quit Journal
 

Hi,
I intend for this to be a journal to keep me motivated and accountable. So I can write down my thoughts and feelings, read back on them and to help me deal with life's pressures whatever that may be.
Today will be my 3rd day in a row free of marijuana. I've smoked for 16 years almost consistently. I quit a total of 4 times during those 16 years. I'm trying to quit for the long term....forever. I'm going into this thinking about my own health and quitting smoking for my kids and lung health (I'm freaked out about getting lung cancer soon or even when i get old). I'm looking at this like I did cigarettes, (i quit cigs about 12 years ago) quit because it's gross and unhealthy.
With this 3 day weekend I will need to keep myself busy to keep my mind off of it. I may pick up one of the many house fixing projects i've started but not finished.
When I was smoking alot I would go through these punishing cycles where i would not want to smoke but would smoke anyways then for days afterwards I would punish myself with terrible thoughts. Tell myself terrible things, withhold the good things like food, comfort from my husband, fun activities etc. It just gets to be too much really and I can't keep living in this cycle.
I feel like you can't live your true authentic life when you are deep in addiction mentally or physically or however you view it. Like something is holding you back from truly being happy.
I intend to change this even if it means leaving the ones I love behind. When I am able to go a day without smoking I feel like I'm winning, like I am beating others in this race. I want to pull them along with me but I know they have to do it on their own, some people are not ready to quit and I have to deal with them still smoking out back in the shed. It is so hard knowing that I could just go out back and smoke. This is also legal here and it's getting cheaper and cheaper to buy also.
Anyways I'm sending you all strength to keep up this good hard fight.

Welcome Sleepsmiles! I hope you're cruising through that long weekend with relative ease. Please feel free to share your ups and downs with us!

Welcome to the forum! Glad you are here!
SR is priceless. Stay close and post often. It has made all the difference for me.

I am at 3 days also - but alcohol - after 38 years. Good work.

I used the blog function here as a bit of a journal. And I do like the idea of keeping a stop journal.

Stay strong and good work with it.

I find when I'm not smoking I'm drinking more much more. How do you relax/decompress from the day without a smoke or drink? I feel like I need to have a way to relax after the day with a drink or a smoke. What can I do to avoid this? I want to quit weed for good but when I actually do it i think about drinking more, then I have drinks. I just don't want this to become a problem where I'm drinking every night. How can I control this?

It sounds weird but exercise really relaxes me. You could also try a hobby, or an interest, or maybe even a guided meditation?

D

I think I will probably need to try all of those tips Dee, thanks. Last night was really tough. I had a bloody mary around 930 but just wanted to smoke so bad, it was on my mind all evening last night. I didn't do it though, I went to bed early mad at myself because I feel like I'm just replacing one thing for the other.
Do you think it's better to go full stop with pot and alcohol rather than use alcohol to get off of weed? I'm thinking yes but I get so pissed/mad/uptight in the evenings I hate to be like that around my kids.

I think one leads to the other in time. I would quit both. Pot leads to drink leads to pot and round and round we go, right?

Early sobriety is uncomfortable. Emotions are raw. Get through it once and you never have to go back.

Delay the alcohol cessation and you have to go through it twice.

It's best to learn to live life on its terms, without the buffering/numbing effect of outside substances. I was uncomfortable for a couple months in early sobriety and then I gradually found I could deal with life just fine without checking out for half of every day. It's so much better sober. :)

Thanks for the support. I had a feeling this was the way to go. Today I begin this cessation of both alcohol and pot. When I feel my tensions rise, which is usually in the evenings after work...ie fixing dinner getting kids rdy for bed etc. I'll try short meditation sessions, maybe sitting quietly in my room in the dark.
Being crazy in the evenings is what I worry about most.

I am with Dee on the exercise-tip. It does wonders for my mind. Calms it down, makes me feel at ease. Cardio works best for me, especially outdoors.

Thankfully I more or less quit drinking alcohol automatically when I quit smoking (both cigarettes and pot at the same time). I don't think it's a good idea to substitute one for the other, as you've said yourself. I do know that it can be hard to relax with kids around!

But there is hope! I am at the six-week-mark today and I can truly say I am much better in dealing with stress when I don't smoke pot. I hope you can say the same in a short while.

Great job. Six weeks is along time. Also quitting all those at the same time. Wow. I'll try exercise, I already have a bunch of workout dvds.
I will need to make specific time for this as I don't get home from the workday until 530 to 630 every day. Then the stress, I need a more chill job.
I am busy today making a coconut pie and cleaning up and getting rdy for the school/ workweek. Tonight I hope goes smoothly.
Thanks for the support!

Well, in all honesty: I quit cigarettes and pot and alcohol just vanished automatically. It's lost its appeal. It was no effort to do so.

If you go for exercize: make sure you find something that is fun to do. Otherwise it is impossible to keep it up.

Best of luck!

Welp. Today is my 3rd day in a row smoke free again. I had a few days there where I lost myself. Only smoked in the late evening (after kids went to bed).

I feel like I'm fighting an uphill struggle as my hubs is outside even now currently smoking. I wish he would try to quit too.

I kept busy today getting my painting on, painting the trim in my bedroom. Tomorrow more of the same and next weekend I'll paint the walls and find new shades for the sliding glass door. Thanks for listening.

its hard when a partner won't quit but it's not impossible - you can do this sleepsmiles :)

D

A third day is a third day, congratulations on that. I agree with you that it's harder to stay off it if someone around you still smokes it, but as Dee said: it's not impossible. The reward when you pull this off will be huge. Hope you can find the strength to carry on. Best of luck!

Thanks to both of you guys. Very inspiring to keep this up!

I managed to get my husband on board the quit train a few days ago. Last night was the first night he was smoke free in a looooong time, besides vacations where he couldn't smoke.
I was so proud of him but then this morning he start talking about scheduling his evening to go buy some. I am gonna try to convince him not to. I'll update tonight or tomorrow about how it went. Have a great day, it's a beautiful day in Portland this morning!

Good for you! I can't imagine having my partner smoking while I was trying to quit. You have it doubly hard.
You must mean Portland Oregon, 'cause I'm an hour north and it's beautiful here too!

Yep! It was absolutely beautiful! I hope you had a great day!

He ended up getting more Sunday evening. He always seems to justify it....we worked so hard in the garden on Sunday and he offered to do the grocery shopping for me. I know when he offers to do tha, he is going to go buy also.

This is so frustrating. I ended up smoking once that Sunday evening then berating and hating myself all day Monday. Now smoke free on Monday and Tuesday. I will be smoke free tonight.

I hate marijuana! My life is great except for marijuana :(