Windytown
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hey windy 
I wasn't committed to a long term quit on day 4 either. It's not something that fell on me suddenly one day - but I had the desire for change cos weed was not doing me any favours.
I kept in my my mind things like my lung health, the fact that weed totally took over my life, the fact that getting off it was so damned hard, and the fact that this red eyed imbecilic smoker was not who I wanted to be.
I did my best to stay out of weeds and other smokers way and when I had the opportunity to smoke, I high tailed it out there.
Gradually I began to appreciate a life without weed and the urge to smoke got less and less.
Stay with it - you're on the right track.
D
I wasn't committed to a long term quit on day 4 either. It's not something that fell on me suddenly one day - but I had the desire for change cos weed was not doing me any favours.
I kept in my my mind things like my lung health, the fact that weed totally took over my life, the fact that getting off it was so damned hard, and the fact that this red eyed imbecilic smoker was not who I wanted to be.
I did my best to stay out of weeds and other smokers way and when I had the opportunity to smoke, I high tailed it out there.
Gradually I began to appreciate a life without weed and the urge to smoke got less and less.
Stay with it - you're on the right track.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 754
Windy, good to hear from you! Do you have an idea why you can't commit to long term sobriety? Is it scaring you? Do you feel you will never be able to live a happy life without pot? I'm just curious about the thought-process going on. If it means anything to you: I've had those exact same thoughts and I seem to be getting them every now and then. More than in the first few weeks even.
Hope you can keep it up!
Hope you can keep it up!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 139
day 5.
Dutchman-- I am just so used to getting stoned on pot. Since I started when I was about 13 and I am now 44, it has just been most of my life that I have smoked. so it is just hard for me to know how to commit to a long term quit.
I started serious amounts of smoking at about age 24 or so-- and since then ( 20 years) I have had some breaks but the longest break in there was 9 months. I never took years off in that time.
Dutchman-- I am just so used to getting stoned on pot. Since I started when I was about 13 and I am now 44, it has just been most of my life that I have smoked. so it is just hard for me to know how to commit to a long term quit.
I started serious amounts of smoking at about age 24 or so-- and since then ( 20 years) I have had some breaks but the longest break in there was 9 months. I never took years off in that time.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 754
I think I know what you're talking about. Although I started out a little later than you did, I really gained momentum around my 18th birthday. It was already embedded in me by that time. I will turn 40 in April and I have never quit for longer than six months. I feel weird, just weird. And my whole personality and behaviour is programmed to reach for pot. In normal and abnormal situations.
I do think it is very valuable that you're obviously in a certain way dissatisfied when you continu to smoke. I tried for a period of time just not to worry about it anymore and enjoy it to the fullest. But I couldn't pull if off. I felt pretty hopeless then, because I was unhappy with it and unhappy without it.
Take care Windy!
I do think it is very valuable that you're obviously in a certain way dissatisfied when you continu to smoke. I tried for a period of time just not to worry about it anymore and enjoy it to the fullest. But I couldn't pull if off. I felt pretty hopeless then, because I was unhappy with it and unhappy without it.
Take care Windy!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 437
Originally Posted by Happytown 
day 5.
Since I started when I was about 13 and I am now 44, it has just been most of my life that I have smoked. so it is just hard for me to know how to commit to a long term quit.
Since I started when I was about 13 and I am now 44, it has just been most of my life that I have smoked. so it is just hard for me to know how to commit to a long term quit.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 139
ah happiness. the eternal quest. Is it even possible, sober or stoned, in this crazy world? I am not sure!!
Day 6
I have never been a very happy person- I tend towards maudlin I guess? I mean I have a good life-- have created and carved out a good life, and am grateful. but happy? I have that sometimes but oh man life is certainly a struggle I think/ When I am sober or stoned. We all have so many things thrown at us ( illness, for example, o any other challenge) and sure our attitude and inner response makes all the difference. And how we fill our days. but happiness as a whole I am not sure.
Day 6
I have never been a very happy person- I tend towards maudlin I guess? I mean I have a good life-- have created and carved out a good life, and am grateful. but happy? I have that sometimes but oh man life is certainly a struggle I think/ When I am sober or stoned. We all have so many things thrown at us ( illness, for example, o any other challenge) and sure our attitude and inner response makes all the difference. And how we fill our days. but happiness as a whole I am not sure.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 754
Originally Posted by Happytown
ah happiness. the eternal quest. Is it even possible, sober or stoned, in this crazy world? I am not sure!!
Congratulations on day 6 btw. Just out of curiosity: how were those 9 months sober for you? Did it take a lot of effort? What brought you back to the green stuff?
If you don't feel like writing down the whole experience: no hard feelings. But if you do: I will be reading it with interest.
Keep it up Windy!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Windy for a long time I thought happiness was the absence of angst - happinesds for me was oblivion - maybe thats why pot was so difficult for me to give up?
so, I quit...eventually my brain chemistry got unscrambled again and I remembered and reexperienced what real happiness was
D
so, I quit...eventually my brain chemistry got unscrambled again and I remembered and reexperienced what real happiness was
D
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