FlyingDutchMan reporting for duty!
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Glad things are on an upswing.
Yeah I still had problems too, but I also found I had a lot more solutions available than I did when I was smoking? Gotta love that clarity of thought
Enjoy France FDM
D
Yeah I still had problems too, but I also found I had a lot more solutions available than I did when I was smoking? Gotta love that clarity of thought
Enjoy France FDM
D
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I do indeed have more solutions at hand. When I return from France I want to explore some new ways to relax the mind, meditation probably. These first six months were simply a first stage but now phase two is starting. At least, that's the way I feel about it. The first six months are not exemplary for how the rest of my life will be. It was mostly resetting and getting used to not solving things by smoking, getting used to doing things differently.
I need to find a new equilibrium. I have done so many things for so long because I was always stoned and now I find them not so interesting anymore. I need to experience some new things and I want to explore new ways. Maybe I won't like them but that's no problem at all. It just provides clarity in what I want and what I don't want.
Folks, if you've just quit after a looooooong period of smoking: give yourself time to adjust. Don't expect to feel great after a week of abstinence, be realistic about it. You've done something for years probably and it might take a lot more time to re-adjust than you expect. It still amazes me how much I am changing every week. And when you look back, you will see that you've progressed. There will be change and it will be good. You've done something you can be proud of.
Take care!
I need to find a new equilibrium. I have done so many things for so long because I was always stoned and now I find them not so interesting anymore. I need to experience some new things and I want to explore new ways. Maybe I won't like them but that's no problem at all. It just provides clarity in what I want and what I don't want.
Folks, if you've just quit after a looooooong period of smoking: give yourself time to adjust. Don't expect to feel great after a week of abstinence, be realistic about it. You've done something for years probably and it might take a lot more time to re-adjust than you expect. It still amazes me how much I am changing every week. And when you look back, you will see that you've progressed. There will be change and it will be good. You've done something you can be proud of.
Take care!
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
Originally Posted by FlyingDutchMan 
Folks, if you've just quit after a looooooong period of smoking: give yourself time to adjust. Don't expect to feel great after a week of abstinence, be realistic about it. You've done something for years probably and it might take a lot more time to re-adjust than you expect. It still amazes me how much I am changing every week. And when you look back, you will see that you've progressed. There will be change and it will be good. You've done something you can be proud of.
Take care!
Take care!
Even after 2 1/2+ years after quitting alcohol, I still consider myself very early in recovery. I'm still dealing with issues regarding alcohol. But I am seeing progress. It just takes time. And patience.
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Thanks lynnmarie!
For sure it helps that there comes a certain point (and that point may be reached sooner than one expects) when you might not know what exactly to do with your life and the problems that come with it, but you do know you're not going back to the old life.
And I'd like to add what -if I remember correctly- Dee always says: it's very insidious. When I achieve something my automatic reward-reponse is still: I should celebrate with a smoke. I'm not going to, but the thought process is still very much there. So to end with another small advice: don't think you're over the hump and you are far away enough from your addiction that you can occassionaly light up again. See this thought for what it is: you're NOT over your addiction. It's a testimony to your addiction.
Sorry for the moralistic tone, I just feel I've learnt a couple of things in the last six months and I want to share them.
For sure it helps that there comes a certain point (and that point may be reached sooner than one expects) when you might not know what exactly to do with your life and the problems that come with it, but you do know you're not going back to the old life.
And I'd like to add what -if I remember correctly- Dee always says: it's very insidious. When I achieve something my automatic reward-reponse is still: I should celebrate with a smoke. I'm not going to, but the thought process is still very much there. So to end with another small advice: don't think you're over the hump and you are far away enough from your addiction that you can occassionaly light up again. See this thought for what it is: you're NOT over your addiction. It's a testimony to your addiction.
Sorry for the moralistic tone, I just feel I've learnt a couple of things in the last six months and I want to share them.
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Join Date: Jun 2018
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Hi FDM. Thanks for sharing your story. I have been following it for a while and it’s helped me on my own journey. I see you’re interested in meditation. That’s great - it’s a tool that’s really helped me. There are a couple popular apps that are good. Not sure if I can name drop them on the forum or not, but PM me if you’d like a recommendation. Whether you use an app or do it on your own, I think you’ll see the benefits pretty quickly. Meditation and exercise are the only things that make living in my own head tolerable now that I don’t have the fuzzy, short-lived and ultimately counter-productive “relief” that weed offers. Good luck, and lots of support and hugs to you.
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Thanks for the kind words and advice coffeespoon, I appreciate it. I'll know where to find you when I need some info on meditation. Good luck on your own journey and feel free to share it with us if you feel like it!
Tomorrow will be seven months sober for me. I really need to make some changes in the coming months, because I still think about smoking too much to my taste. I can counter the thoughts with reason, but they keep popping up.
During my vacation I came to the conclusion that I still find it hard to live without a "reward" every day. It's amazing and frustrating at the same time that quitting has great benefits, but the old life is still tugging at me from time to time. I quit for seven months, but I am far from over it. When I don't feel that well, I sometimes think I will never really get over it. There's still that romantic feel to it, even after all the bad things it has caused. This is something I want to get rid of, because I cannot reason myself into not smoking for eternity. I really really want to embrace the new life, but I'm not there yet.
Best to you all!
Tomorrow will be seven months sober for me. I really need to make some changes in the coming months, because I still think about smoking too much to my taste. I can counter the thoughts with reason, but they keep popping up.
During my vacation I came to the conclusion that I still find it hard to live without a "reward" every day. It's amazing and frustrating at the same time that quitting has great benefits, but the old life is still tugging at me from time to time. I quit for seven months, but I am far from over it. When I don't feel that well, I sometimes think I will never really get over it. There's still that romantic feel to it, even after all the bad things it has caused. This is something I want to get rid of, because I cannot reason myself into not smoking for eternity. I really really want to embrace the new life, but I'm not there yet.
Best to you all!
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
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I hear you FDM! At 1+year off pot, I still have the occasional thought of "what if..." or "maybe". I believe Dee even said he still had those thoughts after 2-3 years sober. The good news is that those thoughts are becoming fewer and farther between.
The fact is pot was a big part of our lives for a long time. It only makes sense that it's going to take a long time to get past everything associated with it. But I have to believe we will get to that place, get past the "what if" and get to "good grief, no!"
At seven months (CONGRATULATIONS!) you are still early, very early in recovery. Give it time. I bet you'll get to the place you want to be.
The fact is pot was a big part of our lives for a long time. It only makes sense that it's going to take a long time to get past everything associated with it. But I have to believe we will get to that place, get past the "what if" and get to "good grief, no!"
At seven months (CONGRATULATIONS!) you are still early, very early in recovery. Give it time. I bet you'll get to the place you want to be.
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Congrats on 7 months FDM
Yeah my desire to get high died hard - and stuck around for much longer than my desire to be drunk did - about 2-3 years sounds right for me, but the thoughts got fewer and fewer and weaker and weaker and eventually I was restored to my right mind, such as it is lol.
I have no desire to break this life - it's a pretty good one
D
Yeah my desire to get high died hard - and stuck around for much longer than my desire to be drunk did - about 2-3 years sounds right for me, but the thoughts got fewer and fewer and weaker and weaker and eventually I was restored to my right mind, such as it is lol.
I have no desire to break this life - it's a pretty good one
D
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Originally Posted by Dee74
I have no desire to break this life - it's a pretty good one
The other night 9PM, came an unexpected knock on the door. As I went to open it, I felt grateful to be sober. Usually at that time of night, I'd be stinking and 3 sheets to the wind. I dwell on the good now, not the deprivation.
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I'm here a day early, tomorrow will mark an unprecedented streak of 8 months without weed. Doing quite well actually. The depressed feelings of mid June haven't come back. I'm in a rush now but I'll be back for a longer update.
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Paco, my man. And of course the rest of you bunch. Sorry I haven't been visiting much but take that as a good sign. I'm almost at ten months, which continues to amaze me. Last Thursday I was at a concert with a friend, a guy who I have always smoked with. He lit up before we entered the place and I didn't feel the slightest urge to even think about taking a drag.
Is everything great then? Well no, to be frank it isn't but then again...it doesn't have to be. Although I felt in no way compelled to join in last Thursday, I am still thinking about smoking way more that I wished for. Not in a way that I have cravings and that I want to smoke THIS evening, but more in the long run. The thing is I still haven't found an alternative, a thing I long for as much as I longed for smoking a joint. The daily reward thing is still in my system. Life has gotten a bit easier since I sobered up, but I wouldn't necessarily say it has become more fun. There's more seriousness to it now. On a whole, I very much wish that I would've been able to embrace the non-smoking a bit more. I don't feel like I've escaped the clutches of something that hindered me for a long time. To be honest, I expected more of that. More enjoyment of freedom, more sense of accomplishment.
I also try to keep an eye open for the positive side of the new lifestyle. There's no doubt about it that there is a very positive side, but I need to consciously think about it otherwise the feeling about my quitting is a bit bland. It takes an effort to make me aware of the positive sides, while the negative sides are more in my face.
I have no worries that I'm going to make the one year mark. And I probably could easily go a lot longer. Me as a non user of marijuana is just a new standard, the way I live now. Not smoking is not an effort anymore, after ten months. I've probaby -as usual- contradicted myself in what I said, but what I mean is that I can easily go without yet I don't know if I want to go without forever. I miss it and I don't miss it. And to finish it all off: at the moment I have no actual plans to pick up the old habit. So you can all take a little breather, there's no eminent danger of a relapse.
I hope this makes sense. If y'all learned a little Dutch I could explain it a litte better
Have a good one everybody!
Is everything great then? Well no, to be frank it isn't but then again...it doesn't have to be. Although I felt in no way compelled to join in last Thursday, I am still thinking about smoking way more that I wished for. Not in a way that I have cravings and that I want to smoke THIS evening, but more in the long run. The thing is I still haven't found an alternative, a thing I long for as much as I longed for smoking a joint. The daily reward thing is still in my system. Life has gotten a bit easier since I sobered up, but I wouldn't necessarily say it has become more fun. There's more seriousness to it now. On a whole, I very much wish that I would've been able to embrace the non-smoking a bit more. I don't feel like I've escaped the clutches of something that hindered me for a long time. To be honest, I expected more of that. More enjoyment of freedom, more sense of accomplishment.
I also try to keep an eye open for the positive side of the new lifestyle. There's no doubt about it that there is a very positive side, but I need to consciously think about it otherwise the feeling about my quitting is a bit bland. It takes an effort to make me aware of the positive sides, while the negative sides are more in my face.
I have no worries that I'm going to make the one year mark. And I probably could easily go a lot longer. Me as a non user of marijuana is just a new standard, the way I live now. Not smoking is not an effort anymore, after ten months. I've probaby -as usual- contradicted myself in what I said, but what I mean is that I can easily go without yet I don't know if I want to go without forever. I miss it and I don't miss it. And to finish it all off: at the moment I have no actual plans to pick up the old habit. So you can all take a little breather, there's no eminent danger of a relapse.
I hope this makes sense. If y'all learned a little Dutch I could explain it a litte better
Have a good one everybody!
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Good to hear from you FDM
I realise to a large extent you're just musing, but I feel compelled to share.
I wasn't sure if i needed to go forever either - which, looking back, shows me just how insidious relentless and deep my addiction was.
I quit for a number of very good reasons - I was doing nothing but smoking, smoking lead me to bad company, smoking led me to drinking, smoking made it impossible for me to maintain relationships, It robbed me of meaning and purpose, it made me ashamed and self loathing, I was damaging my health and my lungs considerably, and life was passing me by.
All of which I believe would start again, even tho its a decade on.
Life is good - adding pot back into the mix would not make it 'betterer'
D
I realise to a large extent you're just musing, but I feel compelled to share.
I wasn't sure if i needed to go forever either - which, looking back, shows me just how insidious relentless and deep my addiction was.
I quit for a number of very good reasons - I was doing nothing but smoking, smoking lead me to bad company, smoking led me to drinking, smoking made it impossible for me to maintain relationships, It robbed me of meaning and purpose, it made me ashamed and self loathing, I was damaging my health and my lungs considerably, and life was passing me by.
All of which I believe would start again, even tho its a decade on.
Life is good - adding pot back into the mix would not make it 'betterer'
D
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Thanks Dee, I appreciate your input. Maybe I wasn't as much a problem smoker as you were. I had a pretty normal and satifactory life, but that doesn't mean I was happy with my behaviour. I wasn't opposed to being stoned but I was opposed to me being an addict and the behaviour that came with it. Of course it influenced me on many levels, but I didn't come to a complete stand-still in life.
After trying numerous times to moderate (and failing) I came to the conclusion that quitting was my only option. I still stand behind that decision, but because I was not evading major issues the change in my life has not been a dramatic one. Maybe I hoped a little too much for that, and maybe I haven't made enough of an effort to turn it around in a greater sense.
After trying numerous times to moderate (and failing) I came to the conclusion that quitting was my only option. I still stand behind that decision, but because I was not evading major issues the change in my life has not been a dramatic one. Maybe I hoped a little too much for that, and maybe I haven't made enough of an effort to turn it around in a greater sense.
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I genuinely believe that anyone has the capacity to get as 'bad' as I did FDM.
There's no real way of knowing where you might end up if you were to go back.
As for change, I'm not sure that just stopping something will be enough on its own to initiate change?
Quitting definitely gave the opportunity for change - but I had to work pretty hard - and long - to build the life I wanted?
D
There's no real way of knowing where you might end up if you were to go back.
As for change, I'm not sure that just stopping something will be enough on its own to initiate change?
Quitting definitely gave the opportunity for change - but I had to work pretty hard - and long - to build the life I wanted?
D
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