Found a path this time.
I have been watching the forums a lot lately as a guest.
I just want to say welcome and hear if there are some who are having the same problems. I have 78 days without drugs or alcohol but I think it's not easy at all.
I struggle a lot with anxiety against my body, a kind of disease anxiety. I can even see that my thoughts are wrong after the attack is over, as if they are total illogical. My body is scared even though my brain is not. I sweat in social contexts, or if I have to do something besides being at home.
I also thinks my mood changes a lot from day to day. I have tried to stop smoking hash and strong cannabis about 20-30 times, and have kept sobriety for 3 months max. I relapsed because I forgot how it is in drug addiction and thought that I could cure myself by smoking again or thought once again would not hurt or make me addicted again. But I was wrong, it only took 4 days to get back on the wrong road in fullblown addiction. That memory is now stuck in my mind which is helping me this time.
About my recovery I have been in a rehab treatment for 6 weeks. And I'm doing inpatient treatment 3 times a week for 6 months. I'm also going to marijuana anonymous meeting twice a week.
I will hope you wish me welcome to the forums, and if theres any misspelling or bad grammar: It is because its my second language.