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Old 06-21-2018, 05:34 AM   #161 (permalink)
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You make it sound I'm suffering , Dee. I'm not, far from it ! Like I said , if the once in a blue moon becomes something other than that , then it will be a 100%. And it might just end up being a 100% natuarally, but right now, it's Not a problem and that doesn't affect my life negatively in any way.

And I came to the forum to see how some of the people I know were doing and I was over the moon happy to see them doing SO well and I'm extremely proud of them ! Congratulations Paco, Lynn and FDM !
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Old 06-21-2018, 09:45 AM   #162 (permalink)
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Thanks HC! I never thought a year clean was even possible. It took almost all that time to truly realize that I don't want pot in my life. The only thing it did for me was feed the addict in me.

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It brings more misery if anything and who wants more of that in their life !
I think where Dee is coming from is based on his own experience. And I think it's the same with all addicts. It's all or nothing and moderation is never possible. Maybe for a short time, but then the usage ends up the same as always. All day, every day.
If you've acquired the take it or leave it attitude, then you are a rare one indeed. I could almost say I'm envious. But if it only brings misery, why bother?

I'm glad you posted and thanks again!
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Old 06-21-2018, 04:05 PM   #163 (permalink)
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I think where Dee is coming from is based on his own experience.
Yeah I quit pot round about the turn of the century. I moved away back to my folks - didn't want to smoke it there, didn't know anyone who smoked let alone sold, and after the withdrawal phase I didn't miss it. (Took up drinking in earnest but that's another story) ,

Moved around a little more, smoked a bit here and there for 6 months based on who I was hanging with. Again not really bothered one way or the other.

Got back into my own place eventually and bought some weed off a guy.

You know how that story ends.

D
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Old 06-21-2018, 04:25 PM   #164 (permalink)
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Yes, Lynn, if it only brings misery, why do it ! Right now and for quite some time, it has not been around me that much . I think if I was truly unresolved, I would have taken advantage of all the free pot I want by now, but I'm truly not interested. I like waking up with a clear mind . I like having more energy. I like making better decisions. I like being kinder to people because I feel better, not burnt out or lazy.
I like feeling more stable and grounded. There's Lots of reason I enjoy not using. If I feel I can comfortably do it once in a blue moon, I will. If that changes, I'll completely let it go. I look at it like going out for drinks once and awhile. I enjoy the moment, knowing I'll feel a bit off tomorrow, but I would never do it again the next day, just like I don't drink the next day after being out either. I think for me, that is key and has been working so far. I kind of regret saying this in here, but then I didn't want to lie to you guys and I knew Paco or someone would ask how I was, so I thought I might as well speak the truth. I also think I used to use it to avoid uncomfortable feelings/situations, where as now, I don't want to avoid uncomfortable feelings, but rather process them correctly. So, I think that is a big change too. The need to escape my feelings is not there as I practise more and more to face them head on , in the moment and allow them to be there til they are ready to go. I hope I didnt make anyone uncomfortable here - that was clearly NOT my intent ! congratulations Lynn , that is a huge achievement after 30 years ! I'm 35 years. If I can't keep it at " once and a blue moon " , I will easily let go 100%.
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Old 06-21-2018, 05:50 PM   #165 (permalink)
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Hey hc. long time no talk.

If your relationship with weed at this point isn't troublesome to you and life is satisfying, then I say do what works best for you. I'm not going to try and preach to you about sobriety. People get clean for good because they find that moderation doesn't work and continuing to use is more painful than sobriety.

From what you're saying, it sounds like you're an anomaly when it comes to addiction. Smoking once in a blue moon is possible for you apparently, and it doesn't interfere with life. This certainly wasn't possible for me. After going back after six months, at first I convinced myself that this would be a once in a blue moon thing. A week later it was a weekend thing. Three days later it was an every other day thing. When I didn't have any weed two days later like I was supposed to, I panicked. Then it turned to not smoking before 3 PM. I realized at this point that I had no desire to moderate, and this turned into me being suicidal three months later.

I do think that you should perhaps reflect on why you feel the need to smoke every once in a while. It doesn't sound like you enjoy it. To me, the risk-reward thing here seems kind of irrational. But hey, only you can decide what works for you.

Glad to hear that you seem to be doing well in general, and I truly hope it stays this way.. As you know, we'll always be here if things ever deteriorate again.

Take Care,

RT
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Old 06-29-2018, 10:07 AM   #166 (permalink)
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Hey HC! Thanks! Missed you! I share Dee's point of view and his concern, so take care. Glad to know you are doing okay!
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Old 07-12-2018, 05:34 AM   #167 (permalink)
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8 months

How's everyone doing these days?
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Old 07-12-2018, 05:59 AM   #168 (permalink)
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Good thanks Pacoloco - congrats on 8 months man.

D
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Old 07-12-2018, 06:15 AM   #169 (permalink)
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Hey everyone

I'm on day 3 hoping to be here alot more often. Going to keep posting so I'm holding myself accountable iv been shying away from this for a while.

Happy to be here
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Old 07-12-2018, 06:17 AM   #170 (permalink)
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welcome to the thread lpg

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Old 07-12-2018, 06:26 AM   #171 (permalink)
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welcome to the thread lpg

D
Thanks dee! ☺
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Old 07-12-2018, 09:46 AM   #172 (permalink)
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Congrats Paco! You got this!
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Old 07-12-2018, 09:52 AM   #173 (permalink)
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Welcome again, lpg!
Work and misery are cut in half when shared.
A person needs help with something as hard as kicking pot.
We are here to give advice or just listen.
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Old 07-12-2018, 02:54 PM   #174 (permalink)
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Welcome again, lpg!
Work and misery are cut in half when shared.
A person needs help with something as hard as kicking pot.
We are here to give advice or just listen.
Hey Lynn thanks for the welcome.
Just home from work usually my time to get high so changing my routine going to take a bath instead to relax. Hoping I get some sleep tonight last night was brutal. Feeling determined to stick to my decision to quit.
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Old 07-12-2018, 02:55 PM   #175 (permalink)
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8 months

How's everyone doing these days?
Hey
Congrats on 8 months
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Old 07-13-2018, 01:31 AM   #176 (permalink)
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Wow wacky dreams last night. I say dreams they where more like nightmares
Haven't dreamt in so long I take it they calm down again lol?
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Old 07-13-2018, 01:40 AM   #177 (permalink)
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they will yeah - might take 2 weeks to a month or so though?

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Old 07-14-2018, 07:57 AM   #178 (permalink)
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Hey

Saturday night approaching and my cravings are creeping in. Going out for dinner hopefully this distracts my cravings. Feeling good otherwise feeling alot more energetic.
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Old 07-19-2018, 04:02 PM   #179 (permalink)
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hows everyone going?

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Old 07-20-2018, 12:06 AM   #180 (permalink)
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Still going strong Dee, thanks for asking. I'm going on a holiday with the family on Monday and when we return I have seven sober months behind me. I've never gone longer than six months without weed since I turned 18 and I'm 40 years old now.

Very interested to hear how the rest of the team is doing!
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