Windytown
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: CT
Posts: 128
Originally Posted by Happytown 
day one. Feeling miserable and despondent.
We are here for you, Windy. We're all experiencing the same things, and people like Dee and Lynnmarie are proof that it is absolutely possible to quit, no matter how long or how much you smoke.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 421
Sorry to hear your struggle Windytown. Perhaps there is some support hotline or meeting near you, or even a friend, who you can call whenever there's cravings - that way there's someone you can instantly reach out to?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 139
Day 4. But, I am starting to cave. I even contacted my person to see if they can meet up tomorrow. I know, I know.
To make it even worse or whatever, I pretty much have only one person I get it from. they used to get high quality but normal grade stuff. which was good. The past couple months they are now getting stuff that someone grows for a dispersary, stuff like "kush" lemon something, other names. I dunno. The problem with these things is they are SO strong, even one hit numbs my brain to an unpleasant way. I don't like this concentrated high thc stuff. ugh. so yeah it is clearly a sign from the universe for me to quit. And the last couple days of withdrawal were extra hard from this stuff. I felt SO depressed. I am jus starting to clear a tiny bit and yes I should just keep going. I don't have to meet the dealer tomorrow. I just cannot fathom life without pot after smoking for the last 30 years. I do not know how to sustain the quits. It is so deeply embedded in my way of life.
To make it even worse or whatever, I pretty much have only one person I get it from. they used to get high quality but normal grade stuff. which was good. The past couple months they are now getting stuff that someone grows for a dispersary, stuff like "kush" lemon something, other names. I dunno. The problem with these things is they are SO strong, even one hit numbs my brain to an unpleasant way. I don't like this concentrated high thc stuff. ugh. so yeah it is clearly a sign from the universe for me to quit. And the last couple days of withdrawal were extra hard from this stuff. I felt SO depressed. I am jus starting to clear a tiny bit and yes I should just keep going. I don't have to meet the dealer tomorrow. I just cannot fathom life without pot after smoking for the last 30 years. I do not know how to sustain the quits. It is so deeply embedded in my way of life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
I thought I couldn't live without it either. I smoked for 37 years, the last 3+ years were everyday, all day and high grade, very strong medicinal stuff. Withdrawal was a bitch. And I failed, a lot. But I gritted my teeth and pushed through. And the rewards are immense! I'm never going back. Life is so much better now.
I hope you can push through and claim your rewards. Don't you deserve it?
I hope you can push through and claim your rewards. Don't you deserve it?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 139
Thank you! how old are you? what kind of rewards did you find? and how long did it take to get there? in what ways is life better? have you not smoked even once in three years? do you think it has to be 100%all or nothing? what do you do now with the craving?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
Originally Posted by Happytown
Thank you! how old are you? what kind of rewards did you find? and how long did it take to get there? in what ways is life better? have you not smoked even once in three years? do you think it has to be 100%all or nothing? what do you do now with the craving?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...hout-weed.html (Reasons Life is Better Without Weed)
At the top of the list for me is the self loathing is gone. I hated myself for my lack of self control. The self loathing disappeared the moment I made the commitment to quit. And the commitment didn't happen when I stopped smoking. The commitment happened when I threw away all my pipes and stuff and decided that that was it. I was completely done with pot. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. So damn scary. But yet so liberating.
The other rewards took some time to get there. It took time for the fog to clear and even longer to string two coherent sentences together. It took time to clear out my lungs so that I could breathe normally, laugh without coughing up gobs of black crap. The rewards far outnumber the perceived benefits of smoking pot. And the farther I get away from it, the more time I log in, the better it gets.
Yep, it'll be 7 months soon. I really believe it is all or nothing. There is no moderating, no just once in a while. When I have it, I want to smoke it NOW, and when it's gone, I want more. I couldn't stand living like that anymore. I was miserable.
The cravings went away when I made that commitment to never, ever smoke again. When someone comes to your door to sell you something, what do they do when you say maybe? They keep knocking. When you flat out say , "NO!" they go away and leave you alone.
There is something else that I call the Whispers. It happened at Christmas when I was exposed to pot, but they are mild and easily dismissed.
That first step is hard, but like anything else, it gets better with practice.
Take that first step.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 139
Originally Posted by NClarke2017
Good luck. I check in here often because I am always wondering how you are doing! Each time you reach a new streak of sobriety, I cheer! 
I forget how long sober are you? thank you!
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