Windytown
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 139
you guys are sweet . thanks for being here for me~
so, but . . . . made it day one, made it most of day two and then ended up smoking 2 hits in the night of day two----
don't have any more now and am back again on day 1.
just gonna keep trying and trying. and btw felt totally BLEAK on day 2. like no endorphins no joy.
but know that is temporary so here I go again.
DAY 1
so, but . . . . made it day one, made it most of day two and then ended up smoking 2 hits in the night of day two----
don't have any more now and am back again on day 1.
just gonna keep trying and trying. and btw felt totally BLEAK on day 2. like no endorphins no joy.
but know that is temporary so here I go again.
DAY 1
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 421
Still here, been checking up on your daily. Just so you know - you have a chick here subscribed to your thread and reading your updates and hoping every day she sees your streak getting longer. 
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 139
late afternoon of Day 2 sober. I will actually make it all the way through day 2 this time.
I have to think of it as one day at a time. So that is what I am doing. And each time I fall off I get back on again. the past couple of weeks I have stopped and started a bunch, but mostly stopped for one day, almost two, then smoke for three or four days, then try again.
I am glad I am trying and grateful to myself for any sober time at all. Feel ok and just taking it one day at a time but hoping the days can string together longer and longer and longer times.
I have to think of it as one day at a time. So that is what I am doing. And each time I fall off I get back on again. the past couple of weeks I have stopped and started a bunch, but mostly stopped for one day, almost two, then smoke for three or four days, then try again.
I am glad I am trying and grateful to myself for any sober time at all. Feel ok and just taking it one day at a time but hoping the days can string together longer and longer and longer times.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 139
struggling. another day one. Basically three days ago at night I threw the rest of it away. yesterday would have been day one but I fund a hit and smoked it at night. all gone now today is really day one.
Still struggling with lyme disease and breathing issues. when I smoke now it makes the breathing worse tho that is not always the case. the breathing issues is complex and I don't want to get too into it now but it is not a typical straight forward smoking caused thing.
anyway I just feel super depressed right now. stopped going to the gym which I was doing a lot, have to go back. feeling sluggish, stuck, financially challenged, sick, breathing troubles, other health stuff. and just down. like really down.
so I hope this gets better,
Still struggling with lyme disease and breathing issues. when I smoke now it makes the breathing worse tho that is not always the case. the breathing issues is complex and I don't want to get too into it now but it is not a typical straight forward smoking caused thing.
anyway I just feel super depressed right now. stopped going to the gym which I was doing a lot, have to go back. feeling sluggish, stuck, financially challenged, sick, breathing troubles, other health stuff. and just down. like really down.
so I hope this gets better,
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 139
Thanks, Dee.
Feeling a little less bleak at the end of this day one. I have had a lot of day ones and day 2 these past couple of weeks, meaning I take a day or two off and then go back to it.
I notice the bleakness lifts after a bit, but then the cravings persist, and the feeling of I have to smoke. I am not sure how to stay quit after smoking nearly daily for thirty years!! Literally thirty years.
but here I am at the end of another day one and I just have to try.
I really want to know what long term sobriety feels like, and how my life can change from it.
Feeling a little less bleak at the end of this day one. I have had a lot of day ones and day 2 these past couple of weeks, meaning I take a day or two off and then go back to it.
I notice the bleakness lifts after a bit, but then the cravings persist, and the feeling of I have to smoke. I am not sure how to stay quit after smoking nearly daily for thirty years!! Literally thirty years.
but here I am at the end of another day one and I just have to try.
I really want to know what long term sobriety feels like, and how my life can change from it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 139
end of day 2. Feeling a lot better now. I had a great helpful session with a new physical therapist today that left me feeling hopeful.
In general I feel more hopeful than yesterday and more hopeful than when I am stoned. My breathing is a little better too.
Still, in all truth my mindset is not really that I will never smoke again but more that I am taking a break. I know this is the addict and all that entails. I know for real I need to get behind true deep sobriety. But I am just being honest. Basically, I feel better sober but the AV says should just take a break and smoke soon.
I have no plans to smoke any time and am glad to be on the end of day 2 and we'll just see how well I can do this time.
In general I feel more hopeful than yesterday and more hopeful than when I am stoned. My breathing is a little better too.
Still, in all truth my mindset is not really that I will never smoke again but more that I am taking a break. I know this is the addict and all that entails. I know for real I need to get behind true deep sobriety. But I am just being honest. Basically, I feel better sober but the AV says should just take a break and smoke soon.
I have no plans to smoke any time and am glad to be on the end of day 2 and we'll just see how well I can do this time.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
