Anxiety and OCD...
 

Writing a journal seems to be a great solution for all the little things that seem to pick and bite and itch at me relentlessly. This habit of smoking on something has become a bittersweet sigh of relief especially after a busy day.

Tasks seem stressful when I'm not high and the anxiety comes full force because i've smoked on a daily for so long normal mode sober tasks push me to full out panic mode with my hyper forgetfulness and memory loss (slow reaction; limited). In a way it feels like I've lost my super powers. My spirit is recovering like a puzzle with just the edge pieces hollowing out the frame, but I can still feel the sparks of joy and I am hoping and praying that I can find humility in recovery to change what I know is for the better.

Hi hollow! Welcome :) I understand exactly what you are experiencing and will be going through it hard myself starting tomorrow. It is great that you are starting a journal, there is something very relieving about getting your thoughts on paper. I have also experienced panic attacks, honestly the only thing I can think of right now is learning a breathing exercise for when you have one, after all that breath seems to be the most lost thing in a panic state.

Also, you are going to be foggy, mentally, for a good amount of time, maybe up to a month depending on usage. but i promise it clears! best of luck to you!

pharma