Oh great. Pot is now legal.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 141
Oh great. Pot is now legal.
Don't know where I am going with this.
Except to say that I am so angry that my state (CA) has voted to legitimize recreational pot.
Now my 40 year old son - using since 15 years old - feels justified about his addiction. He has been living in another state and wants to move back. Said he is still using, but it's OK because it is legal in CA.
Sure......
No problem. MJ according to him is not a problem.
MJ had nothing to do with his total lack of motivation over the past years...right...
He has had no desire for "real jobs".
No desire to go to school to learn anything.
He has wasted years working part time - in areas like carpentry, house painting, etc. But never wanted to develop a true refined skill.
Because he wanted to have the time to chill. Time to dabble in art and music while smoking his dear loving and nonthreatening weed.
He has struggled financially. Been near homeless and homeless. Caused family havoc. (A book could be written).
Now he wants to return to his home state.
Where pot is legal.
And where the cost of living is out of sight.
And where he will have no support system -
Except that pot is stinking LEGAL!
I am going No Contact with this son (again) because of his addiction to the Now Legal Weed known as marijuana.
Because MJ has been harmful to my son, my family and to me.
What were the voters thinking???
Except to say that I am so angry that my state (CA) has voted to legitimize recreational pot.
Now my 40 year old son - using since 15 years old - feels justified about his addiction. He has been living in another state and wants to move back. Said he is still using, but it's OK because it is legal in CA.
Sure......
No problem. MJ according to him is not a problem.
MJ had nothing to do with his total lack of motivation over the past years...right...
He has had no desire for "real jobs".
No desire to go to school to learn anything.
He has wasted years working part time - in areas like carpentry, house painting, etc. But never wanted to develop a true refined skill.
Because he wanted to have the time to chill. Time to dabble in art and music while smoking his dear loving and nonthreatening weed.
He has struggled financially. Been near homeless and homeless. Caused family havoc. (A book could be written).
Now he wants to return to his home state.
Where pot is legal.
And where the cost of living is out of sight.
And where he will have no support system -
Except that pot is stinking LEGAL!
I am going No Contact with this son (again) because of his addiction to the Now Legal Weed known as marijuana.
Because MJ has been harmful to my son, my family and to me.
What were the voters thinking???
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I live in Washington state and I also voted against legalizing it. Others in my family voted for it.
I was coming from having seen too many addicts and the consequences of their actions, and my family members were trying to get the revenue and cut back on law enforcement $$$ spent on enforcing laws. I see both sides.
I mean, look what happened with Prohibition (alcohol) - that was a disaster and didn't work. People are going to always search for a high. It's sad, it's dangerous to all of us, and it's out of my control. I try to mitigate its effects on my life by staying away from people who are high and drunk. That's all I can realistically do.
Hold your ground, mom. Don't let him play the poor me card. He's an adult and if he wants to move to California, he'll do it with or without your help. You don't need the headache. He's an adult and he's making his choices. You can do that too.
I was coming from having seen too many addicts and the consequences of their actions, and my family members were trying to get the revenue and cut back on law enforcement $$$ spent on enforcing laws. I see both sides.
I mean, look what happened with Prohibition (alcohol) - that was a disaster and didn't work. People are going to always search for a high. It's sad, it's dangerous to all of us, and it's out of my control. I try to mitigate its effects on my life by staying away from people who are high and drunk. That's all I can realistically do.
Hold your ground, mom. Don't let him play the poor me card. He's an adult and if he wants to move to California, he'll do it with or without your help. You don't need the headache. He's an adult and he's making his choices. You can do that too.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
I'm sorry alcsis.
It's hard for me to be objective with my own history and when I read posts like yours - and I read them a lot...
It makes me sad. Alcohols legal too - tobacco as well - and that's not a good thing.
but I agree with Bim- stand your ground. Keep your boundaries.
D
It's hard for me to be objective with my own history and when I read posts like yours - and I read them a lot...
It makes me sad. Alcohols legal too - tobacco as well - and that's not a good thing.
but I agree with Bim- stand your ground. Keep your boundaries.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 141
Thanks
Thanks to all for your posts.
Even Walk -----
I know, I agree that this law isn't what made and continues to make my son smoke weed.
I do feel that it somehow justifies (to my son) that his long time assertion that weed is benign is right. That he is not hurting himself or anyone else with his habit.
I come from a long line of alcoholics. Alkie Dad died at the hands of another alkie in fight over cheap whiskey.
My sister (13 months younger than me) is an alkie with no desire or plans to stop. She is disgusted (her words) with me because I refuse to help my son or even listen to him on the phone. (He is usually stoned when he calls; I can tell).
When my former alkie husband was in rehab #2, for alcoholism, I attended family sessions, etc.
One thing I remember; in a group session, one of the counselors (in recovery) said it was much tougher for him to quit pot than alcohol.
Not sure if that is true for everyone. It was the truth for him. This really scares the heck out of me.
My son was born with a predisposition to addiction from both of his parents. Has ADHD and bipolar diagnosis. To my knowledge, he is not receiving treatment for either - except his self-medicating with MJ.
Poor kid (40 yr old) almost doesn't stand a chance.
There is always hope......
But I still detest this law.
IMO the door to Cannabis has been opened - just as wide as the doors are open to Booze and Tobacco.
If I were "King or Queen of the Forest" - I would have all 3 doors closed and locked forever. And that's a long, long time!!!!!
I am grateful for this particular forum. Sad to see the struggles pot heads go through.
Addiction sucks!
And I am one hurting Mom.
But I am not going to enable my son just so that I can "feel" better. Because that "feel good moment" is transitory. For both of us.
Thanks for listening/reading.
Even Walk -----
I know, I agree that this law isn't what made and continues to make my son smoke weed.
I do feel that it somehow justifies (to my son) that his long time assertion that weed is benign is right. That he is not hurting himself or anyone else with his habit.
I come from a long line of alcoholics. Alkie Dad died at the hands of another alkie in fight over cheap whiskey.
My sister (13 months younger than me) is an alkie with no desire or plans to stop. She is disgusted (her words) with me because I refuse to help my son or even listen to him on the phone. (He is usually stoned when he calls; I can tell).
When my former alkie husband was in rehab #2, for alcoholism, I attended family sessions, etc.
One thing I remember; in a group session, one of the counselors (in recovery) said it was much tougher for him to quit pot than alcohol.
Not sure if that is true for everyone. It was the truth for him. This really scares the heck out of me.
My son was born with a predisposition to addiction from both of his parents. Has ADHD and bipolar diagnosis. To my knowledge, he is not receiving treatment for either - except his self-medicating with MJ.
Poor kid (40 yr old) almost doesn't stand a chance.
There is always hope......
But I still detest this law.
IMO the door to Cannabis has been opened - just as wide as the doors are open to Booze and Tobacco.
If I were "King or Queen of the Forest" - I would have all 3 doors closed and locked forever. And that's a long, long time!!!!!
I am grateful for this particular forum. Sad to see the struggles pot heads go through.
Addiction sucks!
And I am one hurting Mom.
But I am not going to enable my son just so that I can "feel" better. Because that "feel good moment" is transitory. For both of us.
Thanks for listening/reading.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
One thing I remember; in a group session, one of the counselors (in recovery) said it was much tougher for him to quit pot than alcohol.
For me, though, although pot was more subtle in its destruction, it was just as disastrous as my alcohol addiction, even more so I think, cos I was reluctant to accept it as a problem.
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 12
Hi
Originally Posted by AlcSis 
Don't know where I am going with this.
Except to say that I am so angry that my state (CA) has voted to legitimize recreational pot.
Now my 40 year old son - using since 15 years old - feels justified about his addiction. He has been living in another state and wants to move back. Said he is still using, but it's OK because it is legal in CA.
Sure......
No problem. MJ according to him is not a problem.
MJ had nothing to do with his total lack of motivation over the past years...right...
He has had no desire for "real jobs".
No desire to go to school to learn anything.
He has wasted years working part time - in areas like carpentry, house painting, etc. But never wanted to develop a true refined skill.
Because he wanted to have the time to chill. Time to dabble in art and music while smoking his dear loving and nonthreatening weed.
He has struggled financially. Been near homeless and homeless. Caused family havoc. (A book could be written).
Now he wants to return to his home state.
Where pot is legal.
And where the cost of living is out of sight.
And where he will have no support system -
Except that pot is stinking LEGAL!
I am going No Contact with this son (again) because of his addiction to the Now Legal Weed known as marijuana.
Because MJ has been harmful to my son, my family and to me.
What were the voters thinking???
Except to say that I am so angry that my state (CA) has voted to legitimize recreational pot.
Now my 40 year old son - using since 15 years old - feels justified about his addiction. He has been living in another state and wants to move back. Said he is still using, but it's OK because it is legal in CA.
Sure......
No problem. MJ according to him is not a problem.
MJ had nothing to do with his total lack of motivation over the past years...right...
He has had no desire for "real jobs".
No desire to go to school to learn anything.
He has wasted years working part time - in areas like carpentry, house painting, etc. But never wanted to develop a true refined skill.
Because he wanted to have the time to chill. Time to dabble in art and music while smoking his dear loving and nonthreatening weed.
He has struggled financially. Been near homeless and homeless. Caused family havoc. (A book could be written).
Now he wants to return to his home state.
Where pot is legal.
And where the cost of living is out of sight.
And where he will have no support system -
Except that pot is stinking LEGAL!
I am going No Contact with this son (again) because of his addiction to the Now Legal Weed known as marijuana.
Because MJ has been harmful to my son, my family and to me.
What were the voters thinking???
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
is your son happy? it sounds like based on your standards he hasnt amounted to much. But aside from his pot smoking what you describe lack of motivation or doing part time jobs carpentry etc.. its almost like this work is "less then" maybe he's happy to do this sorta stuff?
I know i lack a ton of motivation myself. I got what many would consider a "real job" and I often think sometimes less is more i'm pretty unhappy with my "real job" and I often think about a job bagging groceries or someting instead. Sometimes less is more maybe he's happy with his current setup? Tehres plenty of folks who dont smoke weed who dont have "real jobs" and are quite happy too with there situation etc..
I know i lack a ton of motivation myself. I got what many would consider a "real job" and I often think sometimes less is more i'm pretty unhappy with my "real job" and I often think about a job bagging groceries or someting instead. Sometimes less is more maybe he's happy with his current setup? Tehres plenty of folks who dont smoke weed who dont have "real jobs" and are quite happy too with there situation etc..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 141
Originally Posted by zjw
is your son happy? it sounds like based on your standards he hasnt amounted to much. But aside from his pot smoking what you describe lack of motivation or doing part time jobs carpentry etc.. its almost like this work is "less then" maybe he's happy to do this sorta stuff?
I know i lack a ton of motivation myself. I got what many would consider a "real job" and I often think sometimes less is more i'm pretty unhappy with my "real job" and I often think about a job bagging groceries or someting instead. Sometimes less is more maybe he's happy with his current setup? Tehres plenty of folks who dont smoke weed who dont have "real jobs" and are quite happy too with there situation etc..
I know i lack a ton of motivation myself. I got what many would consider a "real job" and I often think sometimes less is more i'm pretty unhappy with my "real job" and I often think about a job bagging groceries or someting instead. Sometimes less is more maybe he's happy with his current setup? Tehres plenty of folks who dont smoke weed who dont have "real jobs" and are quite happy too with there situation etc..
Hi, your questions are fair.....
IMO, based on our most recent conversations he is NOT happy.
Life is such a struggle for him. (But he blames most of his issues/failures on others, including his dad and me).
Can't keep jobs. He is a very gifted carpenter; great skills and creative. I don't look down at this craft/trade at all.
I am proud of what he can do - when he does it. He does/can do BEAUTIFUL work!! I even paid for his contractor's license - a couple of times.
But he bemoans the fact that he can't keep this type of job, independently or working with or for others. They are too hard to work for, want too much from him, too many hours, etc.
Upset because of drug testing for most other jobs (when not working independently). Means he can't GET a job most of the time. (Pot in system).
These work scenarios (he has told me) cause him great ANGST.
He has been homeless, nearly homeless and lived in some less than desirable places. Has had some good and some not so good roommates. Also issues paying utilities. This has, and continues to stress him greatly, and makes him unhappy. And it is never him; it's the other person(s) that cause living problems.
His childhood friends, younger brother, cousins have matured and moved on with their lives with careers and families. (Not all have families). This bothers him. ALOT. He has told me this. He envies them in a way, but still does not want any responsibility.
He has bad credit. Nope; BAD Credit. This upsets him.
His health is CRAPPY. Horrible cough. Thin. Skin issues. He is very unhappy about his health. (He thinks the move to a better climate will solve these issues. )
He eats poorly. Sometimes not at all.
His bare necessities are barely met. (Shelter, food, health needs, etc.).
But he does not want to get help.
So, I guess, no, I KNOW he is not happy.
But it seems to me he is choosing to be/stay unhappy. By not trying to help himself. (Salvation Army, etc). (Because he loves those mellow zoning-out joints.....)
He thinks a geographic change will/could change his life for the better. And he would be happy/happier.
A change in location without a plan to change his lifestyle (pot)????
Seems to me the common denominator to these issues
JUST MIGHT BE the daily POT. And how it has affected his life choices, motivation, decisions, etc.
But I'm just his Mom.
As his mom, I am praying for him.
And I talk to program friends. (My sponsor died).
That's all I can do.
Let Go and Let God.
As a mom, I just hope and pray that my children are
safe and happy. (Whatever "happy" means to them.)
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