Here we go...again.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
Yeah, Dee, I've got to get better with the comebacks. My son was really the only supportive one. He said there's nothing wrong with it, it's a lifestyle choice.
I was worried about him for a while. He liked his booze a bit too much when he turned 21, but he was the only smart one that night...along with myself of course!
I was worried about him for a while. He liked his booze a bit too much when he turned 21, but he was the only smart one that night...along with myself of course!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
AV rears its ugly head again.
Just when I thought I was done with thoughts of smoking ever again...
Road trip to see family. My brother is a heavy smoker.
He's not smoking when he offers me a toke. Knee jerk reaction was No Thanks.
Then I went into his bedroom where he keeps his stash. A rather large smelly stash. I breathed deep, taking in the aroma. I smelled deeply again and started to think. I had plans to go for a long walk with my camera that evening (he lives in a gorgeous city) and I thought "wouldn't it be fun to photograph stoned?"
This thought process took way longer than it should have.
Then I pulled out my tool bag. I remembered how awful I felt the last time I picked up after a long abstinence. I wouldn't enjoy it the way I think I would and that I needed to stop romanticizing.
I had a beautiful 2 1/2 hour long stroll at sunset...sober. And happy for it.
Stay vigilant, my friends. You never know...
Just when I thought I was done with thoughts of smoking ever again...
Road trip to see family. My brother is a heavy smoker.
He's not smoking when he offers me a toke. Knee jerk reaction was No Thanks.
Then I went into his bedroom where he keeps his stash. A rather large smelly stash. I breathed deep, taking in the aroma. I smelled deeply again and started to think. I had plans to go for a long walk with my camera that evening (he lives in a gorgeous city) and I thought "wouldn't it be fun to photograph stoned?"
This thought process took way longer than it should have.
Then I pulled out my tool bag. I remembered how awful I felt the last time I picked up after a long abstinence. I wouldn't enjoy it the way I think I would and that I needed to stop romanticizing.
I had a beautiful 2 1/2 hour long stroll at sunset...sober. And happy for it.
Stay vigilant, my friends. You never know...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 437
Recently I went through something alike, Lynn.
AV was all over me after a quiet year and a half. I was pretty sad for even listening to the AV for a while, but glad I did not act on it. My toolbox saved me as well. Forever humble and vigilant.
Congrats on your victory!
AV was all over me after a quiet year and a half. I was pretty sad for even listening to the AV for a while, but glad I did not act on it. My toolbox saved me as well. Forever humble and vigilant.
Congrats on your victory!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
Thanks for asking FDM.
I'm okay, I guess. Still grieving, but that is to be expected really. Grief is not something you go through and then done with it. It's something you live with and it changes with time.
I've not been taking the best care of myself and I don't think that has helped my mental outlook. I muddle through and hope things will improve.
But I need to do more than hope. I need to take a proactive role.
At least I'm still clean and sober.
Thanks again.
I'm okay, I guess. Still grieving, but that is to be expected really. Grief is not something you go through and then done with it. It's something you live with and it changes with time.
I've not been taking the best care of myself and I don't think that has helped my mental outlook. I muddle through and hope things will improve.
But I need to do more than hope. I need to take a proactive role.
At least I'm still clean and sober.
Thanks again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 752
Thanks for the update, I appreciate it. It's not something small, losing a sister. I feel for you and I really hope that you will feel a little better in the coming period. That you aren't drinking and smoking is really outstanding. It would've been so easy to go down that route again.
Wishing you the very best!
Wishing you the very best!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 437
Grief is hard, I've been there and it comes and goes for a long time. Hang in there, Lynn. Proud of you for being sober, that's wonderful. Life is hard sometimes and losing someone is pretty much the hardest thing, it's a heavy hit. I'm really sorry and I hope you feel better soon.
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