Here we go...again.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
I hope my posts don't come across as bragging. That is not my intention.
I just find it helpful to post my thoughts and actions regarding pot.
And I had another event yesterday.
I was shopping with my sister (medical user) and she offered me a bud. I declined.
She then told me she would gift me a bud for Christmas (she thinks I quit for money reasons) which I then also declined.
She asked me if I was ever going to smoke again and I said, "No, I am an addict. If I smoke again, I'll just want more and then it turns into all day, everyday."
I've never spoken those words to anyone before. I've never used the word 'addict' except for here. I think it firmed up my resolve.
I'm gonna make it.
I just find it helpful to post my thoughts and actions regarding pot.
And I had another event yesterday.
I was shopping with my sister (medical user) and she offered me a bud. I declined.
She then told me she would gift me a bud for Christmas (she thinks I quit for money reasons) which I then also declined.
She asked me if I was ever going to smoke again and I said, "No, I am an addict. If I smoke again, I'll just want more and then it turns into all day, everyday."
I've never spoken those words to anyone before. I've never used the word 'addict' except for here. I think it firmed up my resolve.
I'm gonna make it.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
And yet another event today. Must be the season.
Chatted with a friend on the phone, wishing him a merry Christmas. He and his wife are very good friends and in the past I had them over for dinner at least twice a year. These events were filled with drinking and toking, but of course, no one could keep up with me.
For the last 2 + years, I have not had them over. I just couldn't face dealing with the sobriety issue, my avoidance of intoxicants and needing to explain it.
He said we need to get together to smoke a joint to celebrate the holidays. Without hesitation or even thinking about it, I said I'm not doing that any more, that I have quit. He was surprised but said, Good for you! And then he wanted to know why. And again without hesitation or sidestepping, I told him that I was smoking too much and needed to quit.
I'm finding the best thing I can do is be honest.
I'm also finding the more I come clean to people, the stronger my resolve is getting.
I really thought by this time, a couple days before Christmas, I'd be craving badly and that I would give in for sure.
So far so good.
Wishing you all a sober season.
Chatted with a friend on the phone, wishing him a merry Christmas. He and his wife are very good friends and in the past I had them over for dinner at least twice a year. These events were filled with drinking and toking, but of course, no one could keep up with me.
For the last 2 + years, I have not had them over. I just couldn't face dealing with the sobriety issue, my avoidance of intoxicants and needing to explain it.
He said we need to get together to smoke a joint to celebrate the holidays. Without hesitation or even thinking about it, I said I'm not doing that any more, that I have quit. He was surprised but said, Good for you! And then he wanted to know why. And again without hesitation or sidestepping, I told him that I was smoking too much and needed to quit.
I'm finding the best thing I can do is be honest.
I'm also finding the more I come clean to people, the stronger my resolve is getting.
I really thought by this time, a couple days before Christmas, I'd be craving badly and that I would give in for sure.
So far so good.
Wishing you all a sober season.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
Just had to chuckle.
My sister called and told me that the Feds have shut down the medical marijuana dispensary that she buys from (and from which I would buy off of her). She's distressed having to buy black market again, but didn't know what else to do. I said how about quitting? Not well received.
It is so nice not to care about this subject at all. In fact, it's good news for me as I won't have to drive her there any more (4 hour round trip).
I hung up the phone and laughed and said Don't care!
How lovely to have the monkey gone.
My sister called and told me that the Feds have shut down the medical marijuana dispensary that she buys from (and from which I would buy off of her). She's distressed having to buy black market again, but didn't know what else to do. I said how about quitting? Not well received.
It is so nice not to care about this subject at all. In fact, it's good news for me as I won't have to drive her there any more (4 hour round trip).
I hung up the phone and laughed and said Don't care!
How lovely to have the monkey gone.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
8 months today.
It's the longest I've gone without since I was a teen.
How I feel about myself is night to day. From despair and loathing to pride of accomplishment.
As time continues to mount, so does my determination to remain sober.
8 months is huge and I will protect that accomplishment. Another thing keeping me sober is the fact that if I ever smoke again, I would be right back where I started from.
Have I thought about it? Sure, I get the occasional whisper of "oh, just this one time", but I know it will not stay with just one time.
I like where I am today compared to 1 year ago.
My health has improved and my bank balance has grown. But best of all is I have stopped hating myself.
So whenever the thought of using creeps up, I think of all these things and how far I have come.
It was worth the struggle. So worth it.
The inner battle is gone and that makes life so much easier.
I hope everyone can find the peace that sobriety brings.
It's the longest I've gone without since I was a teen.
How I feel about myself is night to day. From despair and loathing to pride of accomplishment.
As time continues to mount, so does my determination to remain sober.
8 months is huge and I will protect that accomplishment. Another thing keeping me sober is the fact that if I ever smoke again, I would be right back where I started from.
Have I thought about it? Sure, I get the occasional whisper of "oh, just this one time", but I know it will not stay with just one time.
I like where I am today compared to 1 year ago.
My health has improved and my bank balance has grown. But best of all is I have stopped hating myself.
So whenever the thought of using creeps up, I think of all these things and how far I have come.
It was worth the struggle. So worth it.
The inner battle is gone and that makes life so much easier.
I hope everyone can find the peace that sobriety brings.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
Thanks you two!
FDM, just hang in there. There is no situation in this world where smoking will make it better. The illusion that pot will improve our mental state stays with us a long time, I think.
I hope things improve for you soon!
FDM, just hang in there. There is no situation in this world where smoking will make it better. The illusion that pot will improve our mental state stays with us a long time, I think.
I hope things improve for you soon!
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 61
Just think if you can get through these next few weeks you can get through anything.... what an achievement it will be and how good will you feel! That’s the prize for your endurance when the going gets tough!
Keep it up!
Keep it up!
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
9 months....3/4 of a year.
Yep, still counting the months. Probably will until the 1 year mark.
I know that will subside and I won't pay as much attention to the date.
I did that with alcohol up until 2 years. (let's see...2 years and 4 months now) Counted every month and celebrated each victory.
But then it gets silly (my baby is 26 months old) and you stop.
Now the 4th of the month goes by and I don't even acknowledge it, let alone celebrate it and so it will be with pot too, eventually.
I hate self praise, but I do give myself a small pat on the back on the 25th of each month.
Hoping you all have success in your sobriety.
It's a wonderful thing.
Yep, still counting the months. Probably will until the 1 year mark.
I know that will subside and I won't pay as much attention to the date.
I did that with alcohol up until 2 years. (let's see...2 years and 4 months now) Counted every month and celebrated each victory.
But then it gets silly (my baby is 26 months old) and you stop.
Now the 4th of the month goes by and I don't even acknowledge it, let alone celebrate it and so it will be with pot too, eventually.
I hate self praise, but I do give myself a small pat on the back on the 25th of each month.
Hoping you all have success in your sobriety.
It's a wonderful thing.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 754
Nine months, wow. Congratulations. You really left it all behind you and that's something to be immensely proud of. Thanks for sharing your experiences and also for all the support you have provided. It's very inspirational.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
1 year today.
Wow. Never thought I could do it. Can't imagine going back.
No, that's not true. I imagine how things would be every time the temptation came up.
Having pot on my mind ALL the time.
Worrying when my stash got low.
Scheduling my life around smoking.
Forgetting important things and letting stuff slide.
Isolating myself.
The self loathing, that was the worst.
And I reinforce my sobriety by enjoying what it has provided.
So much money saved.
Social interaction without awkwardness and worry.
Improved health; better eating habits, no cough, increased mental clarity and attitude, more energy and stamina.
Is there anything I miss about pot? No.
I wish I had done this earlier in my life, but I can't change what has happened.
What I can do is cherish and hold onto my sobriety like the precious thing it is.
My message for those who are struggling:
Never give up. No matter how long you've smoked or how heavy your use is, keep trying.
You can do it.
Wow. Never thought I could do it. Can't imagine going back.
No, that's not true. I imagine how things would be every time the temptation came up.
Having pot on my mind ALL the time.
Worrying when my stash got low.
Scheduling my life around smoking.
Forgetting important things and letting stuff slide.
Isolating myself.
The self loathing, that was the worst.
And I reinforce my sobriety by enjoying what it has provided.
So much money saved.
Social interaction without awkwardness and worry.
Improved health; better eating habits, no cough, increased mental clarity and attitude, more energy and stamina.
Is there anything I miss about pot? No.
I wish I had done this earlier in my life, but I can't change what has happened.
What I can do is cherish and hold onto my sobriety like the precious thing it is.
My message for those who are struggling:
Never give up. No matter how long you've smoked or how heavy your use is, keep trying.
You can do it.
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