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Old 07-26-2017, 02:59 AM
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HI EVERYONE
Just wanted to give a quick update, as I am EXTREMELY busy with work for the remainder of the week. Am on day 8 and going strong! I'm starting to feel a prickle of confidence I didn't have when I was smoking. I find myself smiling more and interacting with people. Sleep has been ok; still woke up once or twice last night and the night before, but I am not letting it get me down.
Thank you, and I hope everyone is doing well. Hopefully I can write more detail later, but for now it's off to work.



PS: One thing i've learned in the past is to be weary of the 'pink cloud' phase, and how important it is not to let my recovery efforts lapse no matter how good I am feeling.
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Old 07-26-2017, 09:17 AM
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Glad to hear you are doing well! 8 days is great!
Ahhhh, yes, the pink cloud. I am living on said cloud at the moment.
Eating clean, quality food and daily exercise is making me feel so good. Even crappy sleep is not bringing me down. But the cloud will dissipate and I'll need to be wary. Stay Vigilant!
Have you been in contact with the addiction counselor yet?
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Old 07-29-2017, 05:35 AM
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Hi everybody! Whew, what a week. I'm glad it's over and I have a chance to sit down with some coffee and read/post.

I'm still sober (day 11), and still feeling pretty good. I have been pretty tired the past few days and sleeping a lot, as well as getting some pretty strange dreams. The way I see it, I got off somewhat easy physically this time around so I should expect stuff like that for at least a couple more days. I'm trying not to let it get me down.
My appetite is coming back (for REAL food, not junk like when I was high all the time), although that probably has a lot to do with starting to exercise daily again.
OK, so on to the not so good. I STILL haven't contacted NA. I know it's my AV telling me I don't need it, but the truth is i'm pretty lonely and don't have anything in the way of a social circle. I spend too much time by myself. I live with my dad and he is very supportive, but I can't rely on one person. Plus, he isn't a drug addict, so I can't fully relate to him on that level like I could with people in the rooms.
I don't know...this is a very important time for me. I need to continue making changes in my life to maintain sobriety. My AV was telling me not to post and share this, either, but he's a worse liar than Trump so I refused to listen.
I have a relaxing weekend that I need to fill with productive things, and next week shouldn't be so hectic so I will be able to read and post. It does really help.

PS: Hi Lynn! How are you doing? Regarding the addiction counselor, I was seeing him the last time I got sober in the winter. He was a nice guy but not exactly a perfect fit for me. This sounds incredibly pompous coming from a drug addict, but there wasn't much he could tell me that I did not already know about recovery. I feel it's more important for me to make sober friends, and build a sober social circle now than it is for 1 on 1 treatment.

Be well, everyone.
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Old 07-29-2017, 08:35 AM
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Good Stuff, mm! Love the Trump remark! Just give your AV Trump's face and it should be easy to beat him down! haha! love it!
Sounds like you have your head on straight and I understand not needing help. Maybe I'm being naive, (what do I know, I have no long stretch of sober time under my belt) but SR has been enough help for me.
And sober friends are important. Are there clubs you could join? I've made some wonderful friends when I joined a garden club. Get involved in a cause and get out there.
And congrats on day 11! Fantastic! Keep it up!

PS I am doing great. Seeing my sister today and the AV peeped up and said, Just one toke with her, just this once. NOOOO! Now I can imagine beating Trump's face with a baseball bat and that is hilarious. Whatever works, man!
I am envious of your sleep. I'm still struggling with that one. When I got sober last time, it took 3 month before I have more good nights than bad.
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Old 07-30-2017, 09:56 PM
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Really glad to read your progress mm

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Old 07-31-2017, 02:08 PM
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Hi guys! Day 13 . Back to work this week, although a much slower week. I'm starting to notice my senses of smell and taste returning. I never noticed how poor they had become. I'm also not nearly as out of breath when I exercise.

Another interesting thing is that I don't get nauseated any more. When I was smoking I would get strange waves of nausea followed by sneezing (wtf?). I remember doing some research on it and it said it had to do with acid reflux which I linked to binge eating junk food when stoned, but it stopped completely as soon as I quit smoking sooo...nuff said . I'm able to think more coherently and plan ahead better. One of my major hobbies is electrical engineering (particularly high voltage), and i'm having a lot less difficulty sketching and comprehending circuits/circuit diagrams. The math is also coming easier. I knew I USED to be good at math; apparently weed stole that from me, too!
I'm sleeping every night. Worst case I'll wake up once or maybe twice at most but seem to have no trouble falling back asleep. My dreams are becoming more and more vivid. I'll admit, I've had a few where I didn't want to go back to sleep, but mostly I find them entertaining.

Lynn, regarding your comment about social groups/etc, I completely agree that I need to find some. One issue is that i'm still fairly young (29), and you can probably guess what a large percentage of people my age enjoy doing for fun; going to the bar, getting high, partying, etc. That, however, is no excuse. I know there are plenty of people out there who don't need drugs to have a good time. I've been off social media for a number of years and I sometimes wonder if it's time to start up again. That is, after all, the primary form of communication these days (particularly in my age range).

Anyway, tomorrow is the 2 week mark and I am proud of myself for reaching that milestone. Cravings have been almost non existent, but I remain vigilant. I hope everyone is doing well.
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Old 07-31-2017, 02:58 PM
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Great job on 2 weeks! Sounds like you are doing fantastically!
I noticed the sense of smell increase, as well. I can smell a glass of red wine from 20 feet away. (and don't like it one bit)
Isn't the cognition improvement wonderful? I knit complex patterns and would often screw up and have to go back and rip out mistakes. Not any more.
You are so very lucky with your sleep. I'm not there yet.
I'm glad your aren't craving. That's half the battle, I think. Just don't become complacent!
Keep up the good work and keep posting.
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Old 07-31-2017, 03:10 PM
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Hi Lynn, I'm sorry you're still having trouble sleeping. Is that something you've dealt with even before substances? I can't stand insomnia!
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Old 07-31-2017, 03:18 PM
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Keep up the very good WORK. Also keep up the vigilance because complacency can be a very subtle rationaliser. I see it as building in a power surge overload switch for an electrical appliance. I am trying to train my brain to act- before I have even a split second to reach for the first drink- using CBT and a psycho't.
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Old 07-31-2017, 06:03 PM
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Originally Posted by mm1741 View Post
Hi Lynn, I'm sorry you're still having trouble sleeping. Is that something you've dealt with even before substances? I can't stand insomnia!
I have used for so long that I depended on substances to sleep, especially at the end of my alcohol use, when it was no longer fun. Insomnia did get better last year at the end of my 3.5 months of sobriety (oh, why did I ever pick up again???) and I am hoping it will get better again.
But I will gladly accept the insomnia over the monkey on my back any day!
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Old 08-01-2017, 03:45 PM
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I hear you on that, Lynn. I've been using weed to go to sleep for so long I don't even know what it's like to have a normal sleep cycle.
OK I would like to vent, if I may. I had the worst day by far since I got sober.
Woke up at 2AM, couldn't go back to sleep. Allergies I guess, which I never had much of an issue with. Went to plug in my phone to charge it and the usb port pins fell out, so my phone is now useless (had to order a new one). Had a 3 hr commute to job in a work truck with no AC and 90 degree weather + traffic, 3 hr commute back, sore shoulder from sleeping on it wrong that was just screaming in pain during the drive.
Know what, though? Not once did I think of getting high. I just wanted to go home, take a shower, order a new phone, and crash.
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Old 08-01-2017, 08:17 PM
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Oh, no! That is a lousy day! But what a wonderful milestone for you to not want to get high.
Awesome!
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Old 08-01-2017, 09:01 PM
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Hope the rest of the week will be better mm

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Old 08-03-2017, 01:02 PM
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Hi everyone!! Day 16 . I'm really feeling quite well, and I am amazed at how very little I think about smoking. It seems my dreams get more vivid every night, but they don't bother me. Last night was a real head scratcher. I'm very busy finishing up a project for work, but I can't believe how much more efficient I am as opposed to when I was smoking. And I know it isn't even completely out of my system yet.
I hope everyone is doing well
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Old 08-03-2017, 02:23 PM
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Great to hear, mm!
It's amazing what a 180 one goes through. From constantly thinking about the next high to not thinking about it all. What a blessing!
And that dreams/dreaming situation. I keep thinking I'm rounding the detox bend and then I have a night not remembering a single dream. Then last night I had the worse night yet. Sleep was fitful and restless. When I wasn't awake, I was having nightmares... all night long. Hoping for normalcy soon.
Glad you are doing well!
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Old 08-03-2017, 03:17 PM
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congrats to both you guys

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Old 08-06-2017, 03:35 AM
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Hi everyone! Morning on day 19. I'm on track to beat my previous record of 20 days, and I am certainly in a stronger position than when I quit last time. I'm still feeling pretty good, although i'm still spacey at times and get bouts of tiredness that I can't link to anything other than withdrawal. I figure it's probably my body releasing cannabis metabolites from storage; whatever it is, i'm trying to not let it get me down. I know I need a good 5-6 weeks before I can consider that it may be all out of my system. I smoked for so long I imagine every possible tissue in my body is/was saturated with it.
I've been sleeping every night, but man am I getting some crazy dreams. I forget about them like 10min after I wake up, but I'm dreaming about people from like elementary school that I honestly did not know I even remembered. And like...zombies. And weird mansions. THANKS WEED. It really makes me wonder how much of a negative effect on sleep cycles weed has. I always considered it a necessary sleep 'aid,' but now i'm thinking otherwise.
I know that it's important for me to stay vigilant as I progress further in my recovery. I still don't have anything much in the way of a social life, etc. My primary goal for the first few weeks has just been stay sober each day and deal with feelings and withdrawal symptoms as they come, but now that i'm approaching 3 weeks I feel that I should do more to strengthen my recovery base.
I hope everyone is doing well (LYNN!)
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Old 08-06-2017, 07:28 AM
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So glad you are doing well! We are going to tackle the beast this time!
Not to discourage you as your are not overweight and this probably won't apply, but I've read that heavy ( as in usage and weight) smokers can test positive for up to 3 months. Which will probably be my case.
Something you could add to your recovery routine is a gratitude list. As you lay down for the night, think of something you are grateful for. It can be a simple thing, but make it something different every night. It's a wonderfully peaceful way to go to sleep.
Stay strong and rock on!
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Old 08-09-2017, 03:14 PM
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Hi everyone! Day 22. That means I beat my previous record, and this is the longest i've been sober in 10+ years. I'm also the happiest i've ever been while sober, which I think is more important. I hope everyone is doing well. I've been in a good routine with exercise and work and talking to the support in my life, and want to continue to improve on that.
I haven't been eating enough, though, which is something I need to work on. It's a little tough, because I don't really feel 'hunger' per say, but more just get tired and irritable. Like the past few days i've just been sooo tired when I got home from work, i'd take a nap for an hour, wake up still tired, and go to sleep like an hour later then sleep all night. Finally I ate an entire pizza and a bunch of ice cream for dinner and woke up with a TON more energy. Not saying I should do that on a regular basis, but clearly I need to pay attention to my food intake!

I hope everyone is doing well. I'm at the point now where I think I want to start new routines and habits. I'm still wanting to meet new people. I will admit that i'm pretty lonely, but i'm scared to start any sort of new (intimate) relationship so early in my sobriety. The last few times I tried seeing people when I was using were just awful. It was nothing but lies on my part and I always ended up feeling so ashamed because it made me realize how abnormal my behaviors and lifestyle was. I'm trying to just avoid that whole area, for now. It's more important that I make new friends first. And, of course, stay sober.
Take care, everyone. Thanks for being here!
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Old 08-09-2017, 03:59 PM
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That's awesome MM!

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