I have been avoiding this forum
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: CT
Posts: 128
HI GUYS
Sorry for vanishing. Addicts are soooo awesome at that.
I have not given up, but am on day 1 again. Finishing it, actually. I kept myself busy all day, and spent the last couple hours coloring (NOT what i'd normally be doing, lol).
Nighttime is the worst, for me. I feel very uneasy when I am not smoking, but I know it's just because it is an ingrained habit. I mean, when I actually think about it, I just smoke and smoke until i'm numb, do nothing, and then usually binge eat and pass out. FUN. I started seeing an addiction counselor, as well. Thursday will be my 3rd appointment. I really like him, and it's nice doing something positive for myself.
Sorry if this post is all over the place, i'm pretty scatterbrained at the moment. But sober. Can't remember the last time I went a day without smoking. I hate having trouble sleeping, since i'm usually so baked every day i'm in bed by 8 or so. During past attempts at quitting, I think I was always trying to fight the insomnia. This time around I am embracing it and just keeping busy. Not getting sleep isn't going to kill me.
Sorry for vanishing. Addicts are soooo awesome at that.
I have not given up, but am on day 1 again. Finishing it, actually. I kept myself busy all day, and spent the last couple hours coloring (NOT what i'd normally be doing, lol).
Nighttime is the worst, for me. I feel very uneasy when I am not smoking, but I know it's just because it is an ingrained habit. I mean, when I actually think about it, I just smoke and smoke until i'm numb, do nothing, and then usually binge eat and pass out. FUN. I started seeing an addiction counselor, as well. Thursday will be my 3rd appointment. I really like him, and it's nice doing something positive for myself.
Sorry if this post is all over the place, i'm pretty scatterbrained at the moment. But sober. Can't remember the last time I went a day without smoking. I hate having trouble sleeping, since i'm usually so baked every day i'm in bed by 8 or so. During past attempts at quitting, I think I was always trying to fight the insomnia. This time around I am embracing it and just keeping busy. Not getting sleep isn't going to kill me.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: CT
Posts: 128
Hi Dee! Thank you for the response!
The absolute most important thing for me is to REACH OUT when I am craving. The rest of it (dumping my ****, smashing bong, removing dealer and weed friends from life) has already been done. I do have a solid support group (aside from SR) that I can reach out to in real life, in particular a close friend who smoked just like me who is coming up on a year clean. Addiction tells me to ignore his calls and put my phone on airplane mode and stay by myself and mope.
The power of human companionship and understanding is far greater a force than any drug. When i'm in 'isolation mode,' even a brief conversation with a friend can pull me out of it and back into the real world.
Anyway, I slept about ~4 hours last night. I expected that. I'm glad I slept at all. I have a very busy week ahead of me with work. I am grateful to have a well paying job that I really enjoy, and has a TON of opportunity for advancement and learning new skills. I started keeping a journal, too. I've never been much of a writer, but I have kept journals in the past and I find it helps to put my thoughts down.
It's also important for me to make sure I eat enough. I can't stress enough how poor my appetite is when i'm not smoking, although i'm sure it will even out after a couple weeks. For now, i'm just going to make sure I have some kind of food on me all day so I can eat small amounts frequently. My job is very active and involves travel to many different places, so finding time to stop and have a proper meal is often not possible or very inconvenient.
Thank you again, Dee! Posting here helps as well, of course. I do wish the MJ addiction forum was a little more active, but I am thankful it exists at all! I have my behavioral therapist meeting on thursday as well, and he also does a group drug recovery meeting on Wednesday nights that I want to try. Just have to make sure my insurance covers it. Hell, even if it doesn't, it's far better money spent than on a bag of weed.
The absolute most important thing for me is to REACH OUT when I am craving. The rest of it (dumping my ****, smashing bong, removing dealer and weed friends from life) has already been done. I do have a solid support group (aside from SR) that I can reach out to in real life, in particular a close friend who smoked just like me who is coming up on a year clean. Addiction tells me to ignore his calls and put my phone on airplane mode and stay by myself and mope.
The power of human companionship and understanding is far greater a force than any drug. When i'm in 'isolation mode,' even a brief conversation with a friend can pull me out of it and back into the real world.
Anyway, I slept about ~4 hours last night. I expected that. I'm glad I slept at all. I have a very busy week ahead of me with work. I am grateful to have a well paying job that I really enjoy, and has a TON of opportunity for advancement and learning new skills. I started keeping a journal, too. I've never been much of a writer, but I have kept journals in the past and I find it helps to put my thoughts down.
It's also important for me to make sure I eat enough. I can't stress enough how poor my appetite is when i'm not smoking, although i'm sure it will even out after a couple weeks. For now, i'm just going to make sure I have some kind of food on me all day so I can eat small amounts frequently. My job is very active and involves travel to many different places, so finding time to stop and have a proper meal is often not possible or very inconvenient.
Thank you again, Dee! Posting here helps as well, of course. I do wish the MJ addiction forum was a little more active, but I am thankful it exists at all! I have my behavioral therapist meeting on thursday as well, and he also does a group drug recovery meeting on Wednesday nights that I want to try. Just have to make sure my insurance covers it. Hell, even if it doesn't, it's far better money spent than on a bag of weed.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: CT
Posts: 128
PS: Lorax, it isn't worth missing. Weed is evil for people like us. It's trash. Don't forget that. Nothing you have accomplished in sobriety will be possible if you pick up again.
Take it from someone just climbing out from the pit of addiction hell. STAY SOBER!!
Take it from someone just climbing out from the pit of addiction hell. STAY SOBER!!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: CT
Posts: 128
I don't want to hijack anyone else's thread, so i'm posting this here.
I slipped up last night. I saw it coming a MILE away. It's incredible how, as a fully self aware addict, I can see the behaviors leading up to a relapse and just allow them to happen.
I had been feeling restless and lonely for a few days leading up to it. I ended up scoring a nug and went out and bought a new bong. The entire time I knew it was a stupid idea. I smoked maybe a third of it, got REALLY high, wrote in my journal about how stupid it was, ate everything in the house, and then flushed the rest of it down the toilet and smashed the bong. I felt like Nikki Sixx flushing coke day out of paranoia!
I'm posting this to be accountable, because this error in my judgement happened for ONE reason: I DID NOT REACH OUT. I let my addiction convince me it was a good idea, rather than do the right thing which is reach out to my - now fairly extensive - support network (SR being one of them).
I made it 20 days. That's the longest stretch of sobriety for me in at LEAST 10 years, and that is extremely empowering. My life is so much better overall when i'm sober. I'm resetting my days and saying i'm back at day 1, although I know it isn't the same day 1 I had 20 days ago with a system totally saturated with weed. Honesty to myself is important, however. I was starting to lose track of the days anyway
.
For anyone feeling discontented and getting the urge to isolate, REACH OUT!! The power of human contact and understanding is infinitely greater than addiction.
Thank you for listening SR!
I slipped up last night. I saw it coming a MILE away. It's incredible how, as a fully self aware addict, I can see the behaviors leading up to a relapse and just allow them to happen.
I had been feeling restless and lonely for a few days leading up to it. I ended up scoring a nug and went out and bought a new bong. The entire time I knew it was a stupid idea. I smoked maybe a third of it, got REALLY high, wrote in my journal about how stupid it was, ate everything in the house, and then flushed the rest of it down the toilet and smashed the bong. I felt like Nikki Sixx flushing coke day out of paranoia!
I'm posting this to be accountable, because this error in my judgement happened for ONE reason: I DID NOT REACH OUT. I let my addiction convince me it was a good idea, rather than do the right thing which is reach out to my - now fairly extensive - support network (SR being one of them).
I made it 20 days. That's the longest stretch of sobriety for me in at LEAST 10 years, and that is extremely empowering. My life is so much better overall when i'm sober. I'm resetting my days and saying i'm back at day 1, although I know it isn't the same day 1 I had 20 days ago with a system totally saturated with weed. Honesty to myself is important, however. I was starting to lose track of the days anyway
.For anyone feeling discontented and getting the urge to isolate, REACH OUT!! The power of human contact and understanding is infinitely greater than addiction.
Thank you for listening SR!
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 4
I chucked myself in the deep end to quit 20 years of marijuana smoking. I enrolled as a camp parent at a drug adn alcohol free orchestra camp, and spent a week playing string instruments and looking after kids. Then after that spring board I changed my living situation for a while to avoid all triggers, and daily Yoga. After about 4 weeks I realised everything in my life that had been controlled by my 'soft' marijuana addiction and also realised that 'there is nothing to fear but fear itself' - all my anxieties and pain I was suppressing I actually do have the personal resources to handle once I get out of the Marijuana haze. S
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: CT
Posts: 128
HELLO EVERYONE
I am back, and on day 4. Things are quite different this time. I exposed my addiction to my family, my boss, and close friends. It was very difficult, as addiction tells me to isolate and not share anything, but once I came clean it was a pretty huge relief. I now have the full support of almost everyone around me.
It wasn't comfortable, but I know that stepping out of my comfort zone is absolutely essential to sobriety. I suppose I reached the point of being so fed up and miserable that ANYTHING was worth trying. All it took was a simple email to my father to get things started.
Soooo...i'm back. Physically, withdrawals aren't too too bad this time around. I've actually slept the past couple nights (didn't sleep for 4 days the first time I quit). My appetite is pretty shot, but that's to be expected. Things are a lot different when you have the support of other people.
I'm a little scatterbrained today, and have trouble focusing on much of anything. Exercise is very important to me, but weed consumed that passion toward the end (along with all my other ones). So, i've been getting back into that.
I'm trying to go easy on myself. I think it was happybunny who treated herself like she was sick in the first couple weeks, and i'm kind of doing the same. If I don't feel like doing much, I don't. I always have high expectations in early sobriety (SUCH an addict way of thinking), when really the only thing I should be focusing on is not using.
Anyway, hello again SR. I see we have some new members on the weed boards. I'm glad people are realizing that marijuana isn't the harmless drug people make it out to be.
I am back, and on day 4. Things are quite different this time. I exposed my addiction to my family, my boss, and close friends. It was very difficult, as addiction tells me to isolate and not share anything, but once I came clean it was a pretty huge relief. I now have the full support of almost everyone around me.
It wasn't comfortable, but I know that stepping out of my comfort zone is absolutely essential to sobriety. I suppose I reached the point of being so fed up and miserable that ANYTHING was worth trying. All it took was a simple email to my father to get things started.
Soooo...i'm back. Physically, withdrawals aren't too too bad this time around. I've actually slept the past couple nights (didn't sleep for 4 days the first time I quit). My appetite is pretty shot, but that's to be expected. Things are a lot different when you have the support of other people.
I'm a little scatterbrained today, and have trouble focusing on much of anything. Exercise is very important to me, but weed consumed that passion toward the end (along with all my other ones). So, i've been getting back into that.
I'm trying to go easy on myself. I think it was happybunny who treated herself like she was sick in the first couple weeks, and i'm kind of doing the same. If I don't feel like doing much, I don't. I always have high expectations in early sobriety (SUCH an addict way of thinking), when really the only thing I should be focusing on is not using.
Anyway, hello again SR. I see we have some new members on the weed boards. I'm glad people are realizing that marijuana isn't the harmless drug people make it out to be.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
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Posts: 128
Thank you, lynnmarie! Is day 5. I slept really quite well last night, and had some pretty wild dreams. I ate a good, full healthy meal last night, really the first one since getting sober this time, and I DEFINITELY needed it.
I hope everyone is staying sober.
I hope everyone is staying sober.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: CT
Posts: 128
Still day 5! I'm a bit aimless and scatterbrained today, but i'm trying not to let it get me down. I called the NA regional hotline and left a message to see if I can hook up with someone to ride to meetings with. I want to get involved in NA/AA (I have been to meetings in the past), but I kind of suck at meeting people and I always hated going to meetings alone, so i'm waiting for a call back. It feels good to be proactive. I never was into the religious components of the 12 step program, but I cannot ever deny the power of one addict helping another.
I'm really looking forward to this brain fog lifting so I can actually start to focus on my hobbies again. At the same time, i'm taking it slowly and as it comes each day. I do hope other people find this thread helpful, as I intend to keep posting in it regardless of whether or not anyone replies.
I'm really looking forward to this brain fog lifting so I can actually start to focus on my hobbies again. At the same time, i'm taking it slowly and as it comes each day. I do hope other people find this thread helpful, as I intend to keep posting in it regardless of whether or not anyone replies.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
5 days is great! And I agree that there is power in helping others/receiving help from others.
This is a quiet forum compared to Newcomer's forum, but traffic is increasing here. 13 viewing when I logged in! That is the most I've ever seen and I think it says something about the increasing problem of marijuana addiction.
I visit here daily, most times multiple times a day. I post to remind myself of the progress of my journey. It's easy to forget the discomfort of withdrawal and I need to be reminded. I don't want to go through it again.
Post a lot. I think it helps. I want to hear about your journey.
This is a quiet forum compared to Newcomer's forum, but traffic is increasing here. 13 viewing when I logged in! That is the most I've ever seen and I think it says something about the increasing problem of marijuana addiction.
I visit here daily, most times multiple times a day. I post to remind myself of the progress of my journey. It's easy to forget the discomfort of withdrawal and I need to be reminded. I don't want to go through it again.
Post a lot. I think it helps. I want to hear about your journey.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: CT
Posts: 128
I agree that this is a quiet forum, but as you said it is good to see more and more people are coming to understand how addictive weed can be. I have been addicted to damn near everything under the sun (including heroin), but weed is by far the hardest addiction for me to shake. I suppose in a way it personifies the entirety of the addictive voice inside of me since it was the first drug I ever started with.
Still going strong. My dad keeps checking up on me and offering encouragement, which is a huge help.
Still going strong. My dad keeps checking up on me and offering encouragement, which is a huge help.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: CT
Posts: 128
Thank you Dee. Was wondering when you'd chime in with a a positive message .
Day 6. I slept pretty poorly last night, and i'm not 100% sure why. I hate insomnia. Obviously I imagine it's due to withdrawals, but I think the fact that I recently started weight training again is stimulating my CNS. Positives of doing that outweigh the negatives of not sleeping, however, and i'm sure my body will get used to it as it adjusts and I move forward. I have a rather busy week at work, so I hope to find the motivation to be as involved as I can. I am heading a project (the largest i've lead thus far), so needless to say I need to have my wits about me.
I have a confession to make; I called NA yesterday and missed all their calls and didn't call back. I'm not sure why. I intend to call again today and actually answer this time.
Any words of encouragement are welcome. I hope everyone has a good monday.
. Day 6. I slept pretty poorly last night, and i'm not 100% sure why. I hate insomnia. Obviously I imagine it's due to withdrawals, but I think the fact that I recently started weight training again is stimulating my CNS. Positives of doing that outweigh the negatives of not sleeping, however, and i'm sure my body will get used to it as it adjusts and I move forward. I have a rather busy week at work, so I hope to find the motivation to be as involved as I can. I am heading a project (the largest i've lead thus far), so needless to say I need to have my wits about me.
I have a confession to make; I called NA yesterday and missed all their calls and didn't call back. I'm not sure why. I intend to call again today and actually answer this time.
Any words of encouragement are welcome. I hope everyone has a good monday.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
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Posts: 128
THANK YOU for the replies! I had quite a busy day. It started kind of crappy; I was very tired this morning and was having hot flashes/etc at work, but I got some encouragement from my dad and worked through it. Around noon I started feeling a lot better and actually ended up having quite a productive day.
Maybe I just hate mornings? I don't even know! I've always been stoned about 15 min after waking up (not like that made me have a GOOD morning). I called the NA hotline again earlier and am waiting for a call back. I assure you i'll be picking up this time . Will keep everyone updated.
Be well everyone
Maybe I just hate mornings? I don't even know! I've always been stoned about 15 min after waking up
(not like that made me have a GOOD morning). I called the NA hotline again earlier and am waiting for a call back. I assure you i'll be picking up this time . Will keep everyone updated. Be well everyone
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