I agree with Opi, counseling might be a lot of help. Try not to project into the future so much. I used to do the same thing and had to train myself not to do that.
I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.
Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.
Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus
Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley