Ainslie

I guess im a bit of a medhead. I like to think that pills can do the work instead of me, that being said - im petrified of becoming reliant on another drug. My psych insisted that according to the latest research - anxiety and sleep disorders can be just as effectively (if not more so) treated without drugs. She did say to talk to my GP about non-addictive substitutes for benzos and taught me a few breathing exercises. She also said I need to have a 'bedtime'

Isnt part of being an adult going to bed when you damn well please? I dont think ive had a 'bedtime' since I was a kid. Am I just being difficult or has anyone else felt patronised by the implication that they need an actual 'bedtime'. I like my freedom, and lack of responsibility. Its why I dont have children or animals.

Last night I went to bed at 11pm (no benzos) - fell asleep quite quickly (this is normal for me, falling asleep is never usually a problem) woke up 3 times during the night and at 5am I decided to get up anyhow. I walked/ran 8km yesterday, I played board games/crosswords for 3 hrs, talked to a few friends for a number of hours as well as talking to my psych - shouldnt I be mentally and physically exhausted from that? It appears not. Im getting a referral to an actual psychiatrist thankfully because im sure this is not quite right. My moods seem out of control, its good when im happy/manic, but when I get irritated at little things, it irritates me that im irritated. I have my own copy of the dsm but choose not to read it as I just send myself into a fit of anxiety because I could have so many disorders listed in there.

/rant. *psych - psychotherapist. she said she cant diagnose me but there appears to be evidence of a personality defect. From past experience/acquired knowledge I think I have a form of bipolar, without depression, with rapid cycling and also some borderline features. Apparently a lucky few people get a type of bipolar that doesnt include depression. Ive been sad, premenstrual, but I dont think ive been depressed.

jamdls

I fought taking medication for depression/anxiety issues for over 20 yrs, I didn't want to take drugs; I went to several different therapists and they helped but they always suggested medication and I always said no. Then my depression got even more severe when my husband left and the therapist I was seeing insisted I see a psychiatrist which I did, after about a month of twice weekly visits the psychiatrist convinced me to take medication by telling me something like "if you had epilepsy would you take medication?" I said "yes of course" and she made me realize that my depression and anxiety were no different and therefore if medication could help me I should take it and I did and it saved my life. You shouldn't drink while on many medication but otherwise they can work miracles.

Ainslie

Thanks for your post jamdls - I have taken medication for my anxiety before - for a period of one year - initially it helped a LOT, then I felt a little too apathetic for my liking - and my sleep problems returned so the doctor took me off it and I felt great straight away - no withdrawals, better sleep, reduced anxiety due to decisions I had made while on the pills in regards to my living/work environment.

My issue now is patience - I have to wait a while before 15 years worth of thc is out of my system as that is how long ive been smoking weed for - perhaps some of these symptoms will be reduced in this time - perhaps not.

Again, I physically and mentally exhausted myself yesterday - had no problems falling asleep, but woke 4 times over the 5 hour sleep period. If I take my benzos, I sleep longer and deeper but still wake frequently.

Sasha4

I understand how fustrated you feel with your sleep.
I have suffered for years with poor sleep and i to help you get a better nights sleep. It has lead to many addictive problems in my life.

I think the 'bedtime' probably sounded patronising but was not meant this way. Have you investigated 'sleep hygiene'?
They recommend a bedtime routine, such as a warm bath, milky drink, going to bed at the same time and getting up at the same time.

Hypnotherapy can also be really useful in teaching you how to fall asleep and get a good nights sleep.

I hope my post comes across in the right way.

I just know from experience how lonely it feels when the whole world is fast asleep and your awake.

Lots of luck to you
x

Live

I need a bedtime for my optimum health too. And I have felt the same way, like a stubborn child, when my alarm goes off telling me to take my night med and go to bed.

The idea of it is quite annoying..but the results are worthwhile.

I have to convince myself that I am doing it for me and for my happiness.
The staying asleep is greatly helped by the trazadone and it isn't addictive.
Having a warm bubbly bath and a freshly made bed with clean sheets makes the going to bed with a book something I can look forward to rather than be stubborn about.

I still get stubborn, don't get me wrong...esp now that my meds aren't straightened out again, but I keep reminding myself of what keeps me healthy and what does not.

Marijuana always messed up my sleep.

Thining about it now...I need to put some lotion by the bedside, because giving myself a foot rub feels good and also helps me sleep better.

Wanta be bed buddies and help put together a system that is self-rewarding?

I need to make it special and pampering.

Live

Hey, I was really vigilant about this for awhile but have been slipping up..this has gotten me excited to right it again.

I am going to have a special matching cup and saucer on the nightside table and clean up that hot water pump and find a pretty jar for chamomile tea and extras.

Ainslie

Thanks sasha and live I am very much the 'stubborn child'

Believe me ive tried everything, except having a fixed bedtime - dont have much of a routine - sometimes I have a cold shower before bed depending on how hot it is - its too hot for baths - never thought of having a cool one? Always have fresh sheets on the bed, a little obsessive compulsive about that and the general tidyness of my apartment. I drink chamomile tea as I cant handle warm milk, yuck!

The doc wouldnt give me trazadone, well not yet anyhow. We're gonna wait another 3 weeks and see what happens - she thinks theres a good chance I have bipolar due to some other behavioural issues I have....cant see a psych till early Jan. In some ways I hope I actually DO have BP - at least then ill know and be medicated accordingly. It would explain so much.

Live

I am impressed...it has seemed to me that they hand out trazadone like M&M's!
So much better to get at the root of things rather than just keep medicating symptoms!

I had some trouble sleeping last night. It is frustrating. I went over and over the tips my counselor and I had worked on before.
I know that for me, I have to be in a dark room. No outside lights through the windows, no flashing computer lights, no tv etc etc.
I hope last night was just a glitch in my program!

Ainslie

She didnt even know what Trazadone was! We probably call it something different here. I understand and agree with her logic.....as im not abusing my benzos, im really not at risk, i just have to put up with this for now. hell its been years, a few extra weeks wont hurt.

Totally with you on the dark room thing - ive been known to tape curtains to the wall because of the 1% of light that gets in. Tried wearing one of those masks over my eyes but it was too tight - I should get some elastic and make a looser band for it. Lavender oil on a tissue inside my pillowcase has been beneficial too - im a great fan of aromatherapy.

Live

yeah, I want some lavender too, now..used to have a lovely "neck pillow" that I could heat or chill and it was lavender scented.

cbresearch2011

I think that choice is up to you. No one knows yourself better than you, and as long as you view yourself objectively, and without bias, I hope you can make the right decision for yourself. Though I am not against medication, I am against taking more than one has to.

IO Storm

I have severe bipolar w/rapid cycling. I take my prescribed meds faithfully as lack of sound sleep makes me a tad manic. I have five years without a drink, and do not need the
anxiety of missed sleep. I'd rather take my meds than have the temptation of a drink to settle down, which would be deadly for me.

All blessings and the best of luck!

myheadhurts

A doctor tried this charade on me, using diabetes instead of epilepsy, when I asked him whether there was a clinical diagnostic test for the illness he was suggesting he said there was not, in fact there was no scientific evidence of any biological cause for the claimed illness. The logic of his "con" then fell apart and I left, laughing at his lunacy.

They will attempt to convince anyone of their need for meds by using REAL PROVABLE ILLNESS as analogy, the fact is that there is no clinical proof of any mental "disorder" simply a list of "symptoms" voted on by the American Psychiatric Association and listed in the DSM.

Ainslie

Update: Finally got seroquel prescribed and am sleeping better than ever, anxiety attacks are infrequent - a low dose of serapax fixes those. Still no official diagnosis, yet the psych says I have bipolar features and ptsd features. I get a bit manic everyday, but I enjoy that feeling

IO Storm

Glad you are feeling better, Ainslee!

To myheadhurts...bipolar, depression and anxiety disorders are real. I went to three psychs because i would not accept the diagnosis of bp. Then...I had to accept anxiety disorder...4 years into sobriety. My current psych just added an addiitonal med for sleep...the insomnia is so stubborn. My program, God..and my mental health care keep me on an even keel. I would not be successful without any one of these...i know it.
Blessings to all who suffer from any of these disorders. I do understand!

Ainslie

Seroquel isnt working any more Increased the dosage to 300mg and I still wake up all the time.

Trazodone isnt legal here. Im running out of options.

IO Storm

Seroquel worked for me..but after awhile it gave me "restless leg" syndrome. Talk to your doc....a simple readjustment of meds may be your answer.

thequest

I wouldn't obsess on the numbers of sleep or are we there yet. Personally I wouldn't fret about waking a couple of times during the night. I tend to sleep in 2-3 hour stints. Sometimes I'll wake and it will be another 1/2 hour or so before I fall asleep for another couple of hours. I'd avoid pills and just look at your sleep time as rest time if you can't drift off.

ClayTheScribe

Personally, I found I had to get on some sort of sleeping pattern, especially with work. I try to go to bed around 10 p.m.-midnight Sunday through Thursday and then maybe 1-2 a.m. on the weekends. My body needs some sort of regularity. I still have insomnia and I've taken Trazedone, Remeron and Ambien. Ambien works the best without making me feel too sleepy the next morning, but I think it's causing short-term memory loss and it's exacerbating my anxiety. So I also try to take Melatonin and it's suprisingly effective most of the time and is a fraction of the cost of the Ambien. I don't feel as much anxiety the next day. It also depends on what I eat before I go to bed. Foods with tryptophan like nuts and dairy are good. I try not to consume sugar right before I go to bed because then it keeps me up. I would look at your diet too carefully and talk to your GP and psychiatrist, though you may have to consult a nutritionist. That being said, a lot of it comes down to your mindset and how well you've calmed your mind before sleep. I try not to watch or read something that will get me excited or get my adrenal glands pumping like action or horror. Laugter does wonders. Meditation and deep breathing work sometimes as well.

ClayTheScribe

Also, and this may sound silly to some, but try it: When you're sitting there in bed, smile and keep smiling and there's a good chance you'll fall asleep. It works 85% of the time for me. Or sometimes I just try to think of something that makes me laugh hard and that helps too.