Blogs


Feeling very depressed

Old 12-17-2005, 12:55 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
cwohio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
Feeling very depressed

I can't function today. Laid around most of the day - can't get out of my depression. I know it's feelings that are being dredged up from receiving the final report from the coroner on my husband's death. I just keep crying at the loss and coming home to find him in the hot tub that day. I just got off the phone with my MIL to let her know. God, it hurts so badly again to think of losing him to alcoholism! I keep praying to God to help me understand why, what happened. If I'd only come home sooner...if...if...God the pain is so unreal. I wanted so much for him to get well. It just plain sucks right now for me. Say a prayer for me please.

Thank you!
cwohio is offline  
Old 12-17-2005, 12:59 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Wolfstarr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 780
(((((cwohio)))))

Oh I would love to hug you in person right now...Yes, the coroner report has made the feelings back in full force again. My dear heart, I am lighting a candle for you and your dear husband's soul. He is at peace, and I pray that you find peace in your heart and an easing of the aching that you feel.
My prayers this evening are devoted to you.
God Bless you my friend. You have many many who care and will pray for you here.
Love and Peace,
Wolfstarr
Wolfstarr is offline  
Old 12-17-2005, 01:03 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
michski's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: California
Posts: 972
((((cwohio)))))

I am so sorry for you and your loss.. You just need to take all this in one minute at a time.. it so huge. I'm praying for you.. hang in here with us!
michski is offline  
Old 12-17-2005, 01:07 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: PRESCOTT AZ
Posts: 2
Reading that short message makes me your husband and my wife you. I am just that. An alcholic. My wife is you, you sound like you worked on him your whole marriage to fix him, and that is what my wife of 15 years is doing with me except she is about to kick my out and let me fall on my face. She want me fixed so bad that it is effecting her health. I guess what I am trying to say is that you could not fix him he had to fix himself. I hope I can fix myself for the sake of the beautiful women like yourself and my wife that deserve all but if not 1/2 of what you gave him. Not to mention the children involved.


I wish you well


thank you

hatinlife
hatinlife is offline  
Old 12-17-2005, 01:35 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
kitkatii's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Brownsburg Indiana
Posts: 63
Cwohio,

I too wish I could reach threw and give you a hug. The emotional feelings are bound to be there…you loved him. Honey it’s not your fault. It happened. It could happen here at my house. I pray for God to spear me if at all possible. I have had to wrestle guns from my husband several times, once after kissing our daughter on the forehead telling her he loved her. Took a rope from him as he sat looking for the perfect spot to hang him. Found him passed out outside in 17 degrees. Watching him as he panics over too much drugs at one time. We can only do so much, that’s what God allows us, but in the end it’s their actions that bring the final curtain. I live with a Dr. Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde. This weekend I am lucky that Dr. Jekyll has chosen to be with me. I might not be so lucky next week.

My prayers are with you.

________
Beck
kitkatii is offline  
Old 12-17-2005, 03:01 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Starting over
 
DesertEyes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,345
Blog Entries: 1
Hi there Chris,

Have a big ol' ((((((( hug )))))))

Originally Posted by cwohio
... I can't function today. Laid around most of the day - can't get out of my depression....
Well of course not. You've got a mountain of stress on your hands. No human can overcome all this in just one day. How about you just deal with it one little bit at a time? What's the slogan; "Baby steps". Do something small for yourself, nothing major. Definetly don't go shopping, it's a zoo today. Do you have Xmas lights up? Plug them in. How about some tea? Fix yourself a cup. Other al-anons in your area? Call them up on the phone to see how _they_ are doing.

Originally Posted by cwohio
... I keep praying to God to help me understand why, what happened. If I'd only come home sooner...if...if..
Not today. You will get those answers, but they are not for today. Today you need to focus on today, and on doing small things for yourself. When the pain has lessened and your mind has cleared your HP will answer all your questions. Today you are supposed to recover, that's all.

Originally Posted by cwohio
... Say a prayer for me please...
You bet. Praying for you today, all day, and every day.

Have another ((((((((( hug )))))))))))))

Mike :-)
DesertEyes is offline  
Old 12-17-2005, 03:28 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Honk if you're a codie!
 
MamaGoose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: State of Codependency
Posts: 121
Prayers and hugs coming your way.
MamaGoose is offline  
Old 12-17-2005, 03:49 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
CW...
Gabe is offline  
Old 12-17-2005, 04:13 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
To Life!
 
historyteach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,294
(((CW)))
May his memory be a blessing...
My thoughts and prayers are with you...
Shalom!
historyteach is offline  
Old 12-18-2005, 09:20 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
notalive
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: houston tx
Posts: 3
feeling bad also

My 20 yo daughter died last week - probably a prescription drug overdose, we think it was accidental. I don't know why that makes me feel a little better, but it does. I am just a basket case... so numb, so disconnected. All the family and friends have been a wonderful distraction, but I am enraged that she did this to me. How could she have done it? I knew she was taking a bunch of medicines from her psychiatrist, but I honestly didn't realize that she was in this kind of terrible trouble. But, bipolar, living with a (supposedly -ex) heroin addict, her life was so messy and sad.
notalive is offline  
Old 12-18-2005, 10:02 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
*
 
susane1408's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lincolnshire, England
Posts: 464
Christie

Know that you are always in my thoughts, if the *pond* didn't stand between us I would love to have you stay over for some TLC.
( you'd get to meet Frodo too!)
Be kind to yourself my dear.
susane1408 is offline  
Old 12-18-2005, 10:35 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
the girl can't help it
 
splendra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,588
Blog Entries: 3
(((Christy)))

I am hoping you can get some in person hugs. I think touch is so important for someone who is grieving. Is there any place you can go and get lots of hugs? Or how about a massage?

I am so sorry that you are going thru this but, it is a natural process and unfortunatly the only way out is thru....s....
splendra is offline  
Old 12-18-2005, 03:58 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Don't get undies in a bunch
 
best's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by splendra
(((Christy)))

I am hoping you can get some in person hugs.
My thoughts and feelings right now...if I could get there, I would and give you a HUGE HUG in person.
best is offline  
Old 12-18-2005, 06:49 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
cwohio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
i got some hugs this morning at church. yep dagged my butt out of bed and went cuz i knew i needed it. haven't done much else today, but if that was the only thing, it was the "best" thing. thanks for "hugging" me folks. beating myself up pretty bad right now.
cwohio is offline  
Old 12-18-2005, 07:04 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
cwohio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
((stormy))
cwohio is offline  
Old 12-18-2005, 08:49 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Starting over
 
DesertEyes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,345
Blog Entries: 1
Have some more ((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))))))

and if you're going to do beatings, do it to the throw rugs while you're at it. No sense wasting all that energy :-)

Mike :-)
DesertEyes is offline  
Old 12-19-2005, 03:05 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
cwohio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
mike (((()))
cwohio is offline  
Old 12-19-2005, 03:11 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
equus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
I've only just seen this.

As much as I love the internet, right now I could curse the miles between us. I've not got a clue what to say and my only instinct to make you a cup of hot chocolate is useless.

I really wish we could all be there for you with skin on - will you give yourself a real hard hug and know it's from me?
equus is offline  
Old 12-19-2005, 03:22 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
cwohio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
((equus)) will do ((()))!
cwohio is offline  
Old 12-19-2005, 03:41 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
To Life!
 
historyteach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,294
How ya doing today, Christie?
Be well...know that you are loved.
There is no need to beat yourself up. Nothing you could have done would change what he would do. You know that right?
Be good to yourself, especially right now. You deserve tenderness even from yourself.

Shalom...
historyteach is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:18 AM.