Blogs


Remembrance of My Departed Husband - A Vietnam Vet

Old 11-11-2005, 07:04 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
cwohio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
Remembrance of My Departed Husband - A Vietnam Vet

Since my husband passed away 2 1/2 months ago - I seem to have many trigger dates that are falling in a relatively compressed period of time. His birthday was Oct. 14th, today is Veteran's Day, Sun. is our wedding anniversary and of course, the holidays are approaching.

My husband suffered emotionally for all the years I knew him, not only from alcoholism, but unresolved feelings, guilt, shame, etc. from his time in the military. He was both proud and ashamed. He never fully embraced recovery tho he made many attempts. I am sad that he couldn't find his way out the hole of despair.

I have some guilt because the only time he would talk about his military service and then it was not much he would share, was when he had been drinking heavily. Our conversations would always deteriorate because he would then start becoming somewhat verbally abusive. I knew that he was feeling so bad about himself that he was trying to turn it around on someone else, but it still hurt. No matter how proud everyone told them they were of him, he still could not take the steps to get help to rid himself of the demons he carried with him for 30 some years and I'm sure contributed to his addiction problem.

I pray he knows that I was ALWAYS proud and still am, of his service to his country.

Remember
Written by Father Denis Edward O'Brien, USMC

It was the Veteran, not the reporter,
who has given us the freedom of the press.

It was the Veteran, not the poet,
who has given us freedom of speech.

It was the Veteran, not the lawyer,
who has given us the right to fair trial.

It was the Veteran, not the campus organizer,
who has given us freedom to demonstrate.

It is the Veteran, who salutes the flag,
who served under the flag,
and whose coffin is draped by the flag,
who allows the protestor to burn the flag.

Written by Father Denis Edward O'Brien, USMC
All Gave Some - Some Gave All
cwohio is offline  
Old 11-11-2005, 07:09 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Nice post CW.
I have deep respect for all those serve, or have served our country.
Gabe is offline  
Old 11-11-2005, 09:48 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Wolfstarr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 780
In honor of him and all who serve, served and died. My deepest admiration, love and highest regard goes out.

Thanks cwohio..

...your husband is at peace. God Bless you--I think of and keep you in my prayers...
Wolfstarr is offline  
Old 11-11-2005, 09:55 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Still learning; ever grateful
 
daddysgirl29's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: VA
Posts: 842
My condolences to you and respect to your late husband. We're all here for you. I'm praying for you. God bless.

Hugs,
daddysgirl29 is offline  
Old 11-11-2005, 10:07 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
cwohio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
thanks gabe, wolfstarr & daddysgirl29!
cwohio is offline  
Old 11-11-2005, 10:08 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
kitkatii's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Brownsburg Indiana
Posts: 63
God Bless all those who are now as well as have served in protecting our country. They are the true patriots of these United States.
God Bless those who stood beside their soldiers. For they too should be honored.

THANK YOU!
kitkatii is offline  
Old 11-12-2005, 04:40 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
In Memory Of
 
In memory of miracle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
(( CW ))
Vietnam, an awful war,fought in the jungle.From what I understand, the things they saw and experienced there,were unspeakable. I know the guilt of things left unsaid, sometimes for whatever reason it is impossible to communicate.It comforts me to know that where are loved ones are now,there is no sorrow,pain or terrible memories.I believe that is all lifted when we leave...Prayers of comfort going out to you.
Bless, Trish
In memory of miracle is offline  
Old 11-12-2005, 05:07 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
cwohio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
thank you trish - i can't begin to know what haunted him. i do know that he couldn't forgive himself for having to take another life and that, i believe, was why he self-medicated with alcohol & drugs. all the love in the world from those that cared about him couldn't take the pain away. thank you for your words - i have to believe that what you said is true and that he is at peace now.
cwohio is offline  
Old 11-12-2005, 05:10 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
In Memory Of
 
In memory of miracle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
He was blessed, in that you loved him.(( CW ))
In memory of miracle is offline  
Old 11-13-2005, 04:41 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Don W's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Charleston S.C.
Posts: 1,461
CW, I am also a Vietnam Veteran. I have and still deal with some of the issues your husband did. It was such a difficult time in all our lives. Coming home and being ashamed and fearful of wearing our uniforms. I can even remember the service clubs, VFW, American Legions etc not wanting us. That is until their WWI,II and Korean Veterans started dying off. Vietnam was difficult because many things needed to be done that went against our beliefs. Women and children were used and needed to be killed. Many of us felt like " baby killers" because of this. When we returned to these chants it validated our dislike for ourselves and made us ashamed. Not sure he did but, many of us Vietnam Veterans, although supportive, were a little jealous of the yellow ribbons and parades the Gulf War Veterans returned from. I can only say that, today, he walks with God. Together they have heard your praise for his service.
Don W is offline  
Old 11-13-2005, 05:55 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
In Memory Of
 
In memory of miracle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
(( Don ))
In memory of miracle is offline  
Old 11-13-2005, 06:04 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Chy
Member
 
Chy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
((cwohio)) ((Don)) ((Vets))
Chy is offline  
Old 11-18-2005, 11:16 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
Christie....My dad was in World War II and the Koren War. He served for 2 years and was a decorated officer. He never spoke of the wars, as I know that it also haunted him. He belonged to a group for vets at the VA where they would console each other and work through their feelings. Their wives met in another room and also commiserated. He found a lot of peace in those meetings.
I will never forget the look on my dad's face the day of 9-11.
I saw the tears well up in his eyes as he sat in front of the tv watching our towers go down. All I could think was he must be appaulled that he and so many others served in wars abroad just to keep our country safe...now this, how could this happen here.
Of course I will never know exactly what he was really thinking that day, as he passed away 2 1/2 years ago from cancer.
God bless your husband and all the other brave people that have served our country in order for us to enjoy peace.....they are true heros in my eyes....
(((Christie)))
pmaslan is offline  
Old 11-18-2005, 12:50 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
cwohio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
I can only say that, today, he walks with God. Together they have heard your praise for his service.
thanks don w - i can't begin to know the emotions that you and other vets must have to deal with - tho i did try and understand. i am just sad that he could not get involved with other vets and get help tho i suggested it many times.

thanks to all that responded!

hugs - christie
cwohio is offline  
Old 11-18-2005, 01:28 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
edit on my post....my dad was in the army for 20 years not 2...I hate typos....
pmaslan is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:12 PM.