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I will remember him ... Part 1

Old 07-01-2005, 07:54 PM
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(((Wolf, Lulu, Indie, Kath)))

Thank you all for caring. This is a rough week, with my son's birthday, the five-month anniversary of his death, the 4th of July. I never thought I'd be able to live through something like this, but you all help to hold me up.

Kath - I will also keep your friend and her daughter in my prayers and my most fervent hope is that they are happy and free and at peace.

much love,

deedee
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Old 07-02-2005, 03:54 AM
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deedee her name is sarah, and they are originally from the states, her mum is from savanah georgia, so there is a connection in there somewhere hey!

will light two candles tonight - i promise

hugs kath
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Old 07-02-2005, 06:49 AM
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Ann
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Deedee, just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers this weekend.

Hugs
Ann
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Old 07-02-2005, 06:51 AM
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And I wonder if you know
That I never understood
That although you said you'd go
Until you did, I never thought you would.


"Empty Chairs" - Don McLean
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Old 07-02-2005, 09:14 AM
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Ann
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This verse made me think of Jason, Deedee, and I hope if comforts you just a little.



When somebody dies, a cloud turns into
an angel, and flies up to tell God
to put another flower on a pillow.
A bird gives the message back to
the world, and sings a silent prayer
that makes the rain cry. People dis-
appear, but they never really go away.

The spirits up there put the sun to
bed, wake up grass, and spin the
earth in dizzy circles. Sometimes you
can see them dancing in a cloud during
the day-time, when they're supposed
to be sleeping. They paint the rain-
bows and also the sunsets and make
waves splash and tug at the tide.

They toss shooting stars and listen to
wishes. And when they sing wind-
songs, they whisper to us, don't
miss me too much. The view is nice
and I'm doing just fine.
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Old 07-05-2005, 06:39 PM
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(((Ann)))

What beautiful words ... thank you from my heart.

I read something recently, where the writer said that after a traumatic loss, everything is defined as before and after. So simple, but this hit me as being so true. We went to the eastern shore this weekend, my parents' summer home, where my son always joined us for this particular holiday. The holiday was much quieter this year, but I saw him as he was and he was very much on my mind.

hugs and love,

deedee
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Old 07-05-2005, 06:59 PM
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((( deedee ))) Thinking of you.
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Old 07-05-2005, 07:00 PM
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Deedee, I believe that we who are here are the "before" and where Jason is, is the "after" and all that is in between is time, until we meet again.

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Old 07-06-2005, 06:26 AM
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((((Deedee))))hope your ok , sending you some more love & prayers love Lulu xxxxxxxxxxx
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Old 07-10-2005, 12:41 PM
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Deedee,

What beautiful words. I was very touched by them. Just wanted to send some more love and prayers your way.

Hugs,
JG
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Old 10-27-2005, 04:41 PM
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((( deedee )))
Just to let you know I think of you and Jason...prayers, Trish
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Old 10-28-2005, 06:21 PM
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Thank you ((( Trish darlin' )))

We're in the process of having Jason's headstone made. My husband's uncle has a memorial business, so we met with him several weeks ago and ordered a black marble stone. It will include an etching of Jason's dog and his guitar. I'm trying to get everything together to send him, hoping for placement around the first anniversary in February. The picture of the guitar was easy, but his dog is neither particularly cooperative nor photogenic. He's a black lab/rott mix (looks like a black lab with a really big head) and if I make eye contact with him, he thinks I want him. So out of about 20 head shots, some are blurry and most have his tongue hanging out. Will attempt one more photo shoot this weekend, but I know part of the problem is I want a perfect shot and may have to just settle for the best out of the bunch.

There will also be a porcelain photo of Jason on the stone. I never realized how few adult pictures I have of him, but will probably use one of him with a "cripes" baseball hat on. He was a great Jim Carey fan and could do an awesome imitation, making us laugh until we cried. I have a couple of pictures of Jason from my parent's 50th a couple years back, but his hair was jet black and he had big Elvis sideburns. Not my favorite look for him, but my son always dared to be different. I think I'm only now realizing how unique he was - he could be so outrageous at family get-togethers, I was often more worried about what might come out of his mouth, than appreciating his wit and humor. As my brother said in his eulogy, you never knew what Jason was going to say or do, but you knew he would always make you laugh. I miss that.

Life goes on and it gets a little easier. Bless you for thinking of us.

hugs,

deedee
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Old 10-28-2005, 08:36 PM
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((((deedee)))))

Hugs and prayers from me, too.
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Old 10-29-2005, 05:27 AM
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((deedee))

What a beautiful tribute to Jason...He sounds very much like my older son. I would be a little reluctant also with the "Elvis" picture! I am intrigued by the dog with the big "head"...Maybe you can post a picture of him? Thank-you deedee, for posting your precious memories of Jason.Did he do fire marshall Bill? Thats one of my favorite Jim Carrey's.Wishing you hope and some healing today.Bless you and your sweet boy.
Trish
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Old 10-29-2005, 05:41 AM
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(((deedee)))
No words here to say what's in my heart...
Just tears flowing freely at the thought of your loss.
Prayers sent for your spirit.
Shalom, friend...shalom!
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Old 10-29-2005, 08:06 AM
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Thank you dear friends.

Trish - not sure if I can post a pic of the beast. I'm technologically challenged ya know. And yes, Jason did do Fire Marshal Bill ... I had forgotten about that. I remember quite a few years back, we were at a restaurant for a family birthday. We had finished our meal and Jason said quite loudly - do I have anything in my teeth??? We all looked over at him (as well as most of the surrounding tables) and he was smiling broadly with a 3-inch stem of parsley dangling from between his teeth. Not sure if that was from Fire Marshal Bill or just Jason being Jason.

We're off to spend the day with my brother and his wife. My brother is on the board of the local humane association and he had a memorial brick for Jason placed in the garden there. So we will see that for the first time today and take a picture to include in the scrapbook I will make someday.

love you all,

deedee
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Old 10-29-2005, 12:55 PM
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Deedee, I think it is such a tribute to Jason that so many people are involved in preserving his memory.

You and your posts remind me to remember my son as the person he was underneath the addiction and not just as "the addict"...they are truly so much more than that.

Please know that you and Jason are in my thoughts and prayers every day.

Huge Hugs
Ann
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Old 10-29-2005, 01:19 PM
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Originally Posted by miraclen2003
((( DeeDee))) Prayers. May the angels comfort you.
Same here DeeDee may Angels comfort you.
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Old 10-30-2005, 02:34 PM
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(((Ann)))

They are people we love deeply who suffer from a terrible disease and I am so thankful for what I have learned here and from the 12-step programs. I will always treasure the last year we had together and the fact that I could have a close and loving relationship with him ... that I could detach with love instead of just detaching period.

(((Mike)))

I know of your tragic loss and pray that the angels have brought you peace and comfort as well.

My heart and prayers go out nightly to the addict who still suffers, for the ones that we've lost, and for all those who love them.
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Old 10-30-2005, 02:42 PM
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I'm thankful too (( deedee )) for the 12 step programs.I am so glad that you were able to have a loving relationship with Jason, from the way you describe him,he sounds like he was a great kid with a wonderful spirit.Bless you deedee and g*d bless and keep Jason as well. I think of you two often.
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