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Old 09-11-2019, 03:29 PM   #1 (permalink)
watching the clouds roll away
 
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11 Years Ago Today


It seems impossible that you have been gone for so long and at the same time it feels as if maybe you never existed. So much has changed Mike. So much. I am tired. Life has been hard. I can't seem to escape the chaos that I so want to escape. It makes me sad.

I wish away the past and I'm scared of the future. How can I deal with a life so full of loss? How do people deal with this? I want to enjoy life but I worry away my time instead.

Once upon a time you existed on this earth and walked alongside me. It's so hard to believe. I want you to know that as I have grown my compassion for you has grown. I realize more now than ever that you fought your disease. You fought with everything you had. I hope in years to come I can let go of the pain that came with that battle.

If you are up there looking down on me this is a formal request for help. I am lost and confused. I am sad and scared. I want to live a better life. I am asking for your help.

I miss you.
-K
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In memory of Mike, brilliant artist, loyal friend, beloved soul who passed away on September 11, 2008 from the disease of addiction.
If you are lost please take this chance to go to a meeting today or ask someone for help.
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Old 09-11-2019, 03:37 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I hope you can let go of that pain too bluerskies.
I am very sorry for your loss.

D
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Old 09-11-2019, 06:02 PM   #3 (permalink)
bona fido dog-lover
 
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Sending you a hug.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTVjnBo96Ug

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I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley

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Old 09-12-2019, 07:05 AM   #4 (permalink)
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K, I pray that our loved ones are having an amazing afterlife in a place that is so much better than we can imagine. I believe! I'm sorry for your loss and am sending you plenty of hugs too
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"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!"
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Old 09-15-2019, 07:57 PM   #5 (permalink)
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No wise words, just my prayers.
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Old 09-30-2019, 08:05 PM   #6 (permalink)
Life is Grand
 
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I can feel the pain in your words, I am so very sorry that you are struggling right now. I hope you can find comfort in a short story my Friend shared with me. I don't know if you believe in such things as being visited by loved ones who have passed, but my best friend in recovery told me once after he lost a lifelong friend to the disease that she came to him in a dream, he asked her if she was still struggling with the disease and her reply was simply this "What disease?"
..He was so comforted that she was no longer bound by what her body and mind wanted so bad in life, that her soul was free and happy. I have since lost my friend, thankfully he was clean and sober, it was Cancer that took him, but I believe with every fiber of my being that he is happy and free and is soul has no memory of any illness what so ever.

I know that doesn't take the pain away, but somehow, I hope you know that your Guardian Angel is happy and joyous and free. I am sure he would want you to be happy too. My wish for you, is that one day soon, you will think of him, and it will be a happy memory that comes to mind first and you smile.

I hope you can feel the hug that I wish I could give you in person, Cathy
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