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Losing my Dad, trying to stay grounded

Old 07-08-2018, 05:31 PM
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tursiops!! I'm so happy to read that your hearing has returned to normal. I do hope you will keep coming here for support. You have had a tough row for a little while now. Sending good thoughts and many prayers
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Old 08-01-2020, 07:00 PM
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It's been a couple of years since I posted to this thread. I wanted to provide an update ... hoping that it might be helpful to someone else going through grief and loss.

First, thank you so much to the kind people on this thread who helped me and supported me when I was shocked and overwhelmed. Re-reading the thread now is so heartwarming ... I appreciate anew your care and support during such a hard time.

Secondly, I have come a long way on my grief journey and feel so much better. It has been a long process... about 10 months after my dad died I sought out a few sessions of grief counseling from the hospice program that helped care for my dad. That was tremendously helpful ... just to talk about it and to hear that much of what I was experiencing was very common among grieving persons. I started reading books on grieving, and specifically on losing a parent, and that helped too.

Two years after his death, I came to understand that I had become "stuck" in my grief and that it was causing me to feel like I wasn't living my life fully. I wasn't depressed, exactly, I just felt kind of numb and off center, and not fully appreciating my life. There were feelings that had become dammed up, and I was also having a hard time sorting out my relationship with my remaining family members. I realized it was time for deeper work, and that I needed help, and I was fortunate to be able to see a good therapist for about eight months. I shed a lot of tears and finally allowed myself to fully grieve his loss. I also took a very deep look at my family of origin and sorted out how I want to relate to them going forward ... which is to still be loving and supportive, but with much more detachment on my part ... loving them from a little bit more of a distance, without being overly responsible for them, which is healthier for me.

I've been surprised by how long a journey grief is, and what turns it can take, into directions I didn't expect it to go. But I can say, that just like quitting drinking, "it does get better!" I still miss my dad very much and will always be sad that he is gone. That is just a sign of how much I loved him. But the grief has become much easier to bear and much less intense -- it does not overwhelm me any more. I'm able to feel joy again.

So if you're grieving, I encourage you to post here on SR, as you're among people who care and understand. And know that you will survive and it will get easier with time, even though you may still miss your loved one dearly.
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Old 08-01-2020, 07:02 PM
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Is good to hear from you Tursiops

D
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Old 08-01-2020, 08:09 PM
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Old 08-02-2020, 11:44 AM
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tursiops, thank you for coming back and sharing your progress, your story is a great example to everyone in recovery!
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Old 08-02-2020, 06:00 PM
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Thank you for a heartfelt & helpful post. I know your dad would be so very proud of the person that you are.
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