Losing my Dad, trying to stay grounded

Old 07-08-2018, 05:31 PM
  # 61 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
Seren's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,480
Blog Entries: 8
tursiops!! I'm so happy to read that your hearing has returned to normal. I do hope you will keep coming here for support. You have had a tough row for a little while now. Sending good thoughts and many prayers
Seren is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Seren For This Useful Post:
Astro (07-09-2018), Dee74 (07-09-2018), Hevyn (07-08-2018), tursiops999 (07-10-2018)
Old 08-01-2020, 07:00 PM
  # 62 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
tursiops999's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,117
It's been a couple of years since I posted to this thread. I wanted to provide an update ... hoping that it might be helpful to someone else going through grief and loss.

First, thank you so much to the kind people on this thread who helped me and supported me when I was shocked and overwhelmed. Re-reading the thread now is so heartwarming ... I appreciate anew your care and support during such a hard time.

Secondly, I have come a long way on my grief journey and feel so much better. It has been a long process... about 10 months after my dad died I sought out a few sessions of grief counseling from the hospice program that helped care for my dad. That was tremendously helpful ... just to talk about it and to hear that much of what I was experiencing was very common among grieving persons. I started reading books on grieving, and specifically on losing a parent, and that helped too.

Two years after his death, I came to understand that I had become "stuck" in my grief and that it was causing me to feel like I wasn't living my life fully. I wasn't depressed, exactly, I just felt kind of numb and off center, and not fully appreciating my life. There were feelings that had become dammed up, and I was also having a hard time sorting out my relationship with my remaining family members. I realized it was time for deeper work, and that I needed help, and I was fortunate to be able to see a good therapist for about eight months. I shed a lot of tears and finally allowed myself to fully grieve his loss. I also took a very deep look at my family of origin and sorted out how I want to relate to them going forward ... which is to still be loving and supportive, but with much more detachment on my part ... loving them from a little bit more of a distance, without being overly responsible for them, which is healthier for me.

I've been surprised by how long a journey grief is, and what turns it can take, into directions I didn't expect it to go. But I can say, that just like quitting drinking, "it does get better!" I still miss my dad very much and will always be sad that he is gone. That is just a sign of how much I loved him. But the grief has become much easier to bear and much less intense -- it does not overwhelm me any more. I'm able to feel joy again.

So if you're grieving, I encourage you to post here on SR, as you're among people who care and understand. And know that you will survive and it will get easier with time, even though you may still miss your loved one dearly.
tursiops999 is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to tursiops999 For This Useful Post:
2ndhandrose (08-02-2020), Astro (08-02-2020), Caramel (08-02-2020), Dee74 (08-01-2020), Hevyn (08-02-2020), least (08-01-2020), Seren (08-12-2020), Tatsy (08-03-2020)
Old 08-01-2020, 07:02 PM
  # 63 (permalink)  
Dee74's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 186,791
Blog Entries: 1
Is good to hear from you Tursiops

Dee74 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Astro (08-02-2020), Hevyn (08-02-2020), least (08-01-2020), Tatsy (08-03-2020)
Old 08-01-2020, 08:09 PM
  # 64 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
least's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 84,205
Blog Entries: 32
least is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (08-02-2020), Tatsy (08-03-2020)
Old 08-02-2020, 11:44 AM
  # 65 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
Astro's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 18,981
tursiops, thank you for coming back and sharing your progress, your story is a great example to everyone in recovery!
Astro is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Astro For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (08-02-2020), least (08-02-2020), Tatsy (08-03-2020)
Old 08-02-2020, 06:00 PM
  # 66 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
Hevyn's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 40,750
Thank you for a heartfelt & helpful post. I know your dad would be so very proud of the person that you are.
Hevyn is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
Astro (08-03-2020), least (08-02-2020), Tatsy (08-03-2020)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:03 AM.