Losing my Dad, trying to stay grounded - Page 2 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > Mental Health Issues > Grief and Loss
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-08-2017, 08:45 PM   #21 (permalink)
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 112,453
Quote:
Originally Posted by tursiops999 View Post
Thank you, Seren and Venecia. I came here in the middle of the night as as i cant sleep, and it's comforting to read your posts. I'm sorry, Venecia, for the loss of your mother.

Hospice has been coming in and they're a big help. Things are changing fast. Last week dad could walk with some assistance, now i have to lift him into a wheelchair. Yesterday he slept the whole day, except for waking a short while for two bites of lunch and two bites of dinner.

I am grateful for the closeness i'm experiencing with my family now ... there are many sweet moments.
Thoughts and prayers your way, tursiops.

You will be eternally grateful that you spent this time with your Dad.
SoberLeigh is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SoberLeigh For This Useful Post:
Astro (12-09-2017), Dee74 (12-22-2017), tursiops999 (12-08-2017)
Old 12-22-2017, 11:58 AM   #22 (permalink)
Member
 
tursiops999's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,054
We're probably pretty close to the end here, less than a week for my dad i think.

I'm finally able to experience calmness. I'm sad but accepting that it's really time. We're keeping him comfortable. Many of the things I obsessively worried about have either not happened, or were easier to manage than I feared. It is (yet another) reminder to me to try to let go of worry, and stay in the present.

Thanks for being here, SR friends.
tursiops999 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to tursiops999 For This Useful Post:
Ariesagain (12-22-2017), Astro (12-23-2017), Dee74 (12-22-2017), Delilah1 (12-27-2017), Delizadee (12-25-2017), Hevyn (12-22-2017), least (12-24-2017)
Old 12-22-2017, 02:26 PM   #23 (permalink)
Moderator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 164,230
Blog Entries: 1
(((Tursiops)))
D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Astro (12-23-2017), Delilah1 (12-27-2017), least (12-24-2017), tursiops999 (12-22-2017)
Old 12-22-2017, 02:33 PM   #24 (permalink)
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: New York - Upstate
Posts: 33,677
You're on my mind, Tursiops - prayers for you and your family.
__________________
You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle

A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.

Hevyn is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
Astro (12-23-2017), Delilah1 (12-27-2017), least (12-24-2017), tursiops999 (12-22-2017)
Old 12-22-2017, 03:35 PM   #25 (permalink)
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 112,453
Quote:
Originally Posted by tursiops999 View Post
We're probably pretty close to the end here, less than a week for my dad i think.

I'm finally able to experience calmness. I'm sad but accepting that it's really time. We're keeping him comfortable. Many of the things I obsessively worried about have either not happened, or were easier to manage than I feared. It is (yet another) reminder to me to try to let go of worry, and stay in the present.

Thanks for being here, SR friends.
Sending prayers your way and for your Dad, tursiopps.
SoberLeigh is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to SoberLeigh For This Useful Post:
Astro (12-23-2017), Delilah1 (12-27-2017), least (12-24-2017), tursiops999 (12-22-2017)
Old 12-22-2017, 11:22 PM   #26 (permalink)
Member
 
tursiops999's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,054
Dad passed away this afternoon, very gently and peacefully. Five of the women in my family were there, and two caregivers (one caregiver's shift had ended hours before, but she knew his time was near and didn't want to leave him). He was surrounded with love.

I'm so grateful for his life, and for the time that we had together since he was diagnosed 7 weeks ago. I'm grateful that he no longer suffers (although with the help of hospice, i feel we were really able to minimize his suffering). I'm so grateful for my family pulling together to care for him.
tursiops999 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to tursiops999 For This Useful Post:
Astro (12-23-2017), BillieJean1 (01-02-2018), Delilah1 (12-27-2017), Delizadee (12-25-2017), Hevyn (12-23-2017), least (12-24-2017), theVman31 (12-28-2017), Trohyn (01-12-2018), Venecia (12-27-2017)
Old 12-22-2017, 11:33 PM   #27 (permalink)
Moderator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 164,230
Blog Entries: 1
I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm glad your dads suffering is over Tursiops

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Astro (12-23-2017), Delilah1 (12-27-2017), Hevyn (12-23-2017), least (12-24-2017), tursiops999 (12-22-2017)
Old 12-23-2017, 07:15 AM   #28 (permalink)
Forum Leader
 
Astro's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 17,137
I'm glad he was surrounded by people who love him
__________________
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!"
Astro is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Astro For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-25-2017), Delilah1 (12-27-2017), Hevyn (12-23-2017), least (12-24-2017), tursiops999 (12-23-2017)
Old 12-23-2017, 02:55 PM   #29 (permalink)
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: New York - Upstate
Posts: 33,677
God bless you, Tursiops. No more earthly cares for you dad - he is free. Prayers going up for you and the family.
__________________
You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle

A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.

Hevyn is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
Astro (12-25-2017), Dee74 (12-25-2017), Delilah1 (12-27-2017), least (12-24-2017), tursiops999 (12-23-2017)
Old 12-24-2017, 01:45 PM   #30 (permalink)
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 70,253
Blog Entries: 32
I'm sorry for the loss of your dad but grateful he's no longer suffering.
__________________
I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
least is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Astro (12-25-2017), Dee74 (12-25-2017), Delilah1 (12-27-2017), Hevyn (12-25-2017), tursiops999 (12-24-2017)
Old 12-24-2017, 07:24 PM   #31 (permalink)
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 112,453
Quote:
Originally Posted by tursiops999 View Post
Dad passed away this afternoon, very gently and peacefully. Five of the women in my family were there, and two caregivers (one caregiver's shift had ended hours before, but she knew his time was near and didn't want to leave him). He was surrounded with love.

I'm so grateful for his life, and for the time that we had together since he was diagnosed 7 weeks ago. I'm grateful that he no longer suffers (although with the help of hospice, i feel we were really able to minimize his suffering). I'm so grateful for my family pulling together to care for him.
God bless you, dear tursiopps.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

May you find comfort.
SoberLeigh is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to SoberLeigh For This Useful Post:
Astro (12-25-2017), Dee74 (12-25-2017), Delilah1 (12-27-2017), Hevyn (12-25-2017), tursiops999 (12-25-2017)
Old 12-24-2017, 07:29 PM   #32 (permalink)
Member
 
Lookingforchange's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 185
Thinking of you at this sad time of loss.
Lookingforchange is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Lookingforchange For This Useful Post:
Astro (12-25-2017), Dee74 (12-25-2017), Delilah1 (12-27-2017), Hevyn (12-25-2017), tursiops999 (12-25-2017)
Old 12-25-2017, 09:24 PM   #33 (permalink)
Member
 
Delizadee's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,743
Blog Entries: 1
I am so sorry for your loss tursiops
Delizadee is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Delizadee For This Useful Post:
Astro (12-26-2017), Dee74 (01-09-2018), Delilah1 (12-27-2017), tursiops999 (12-26-2017)
Old 12-27-2017, 10:01 AM   #34 (permalink)
Member
 
Venecia's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,735
Dear Tursiops,

I am so sorry for your loss. Peace be with you during this mournful time.
__________________
Life began anew 8.15.13. Live in the solution.
Venecia is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Venecia For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-09-2018), Delilah1 (12-27-2017), tursiops999 (12-28-2017)
Old 12-27-2017, 10:21 AM   #35 (permalink)
Member
 
Delilah1's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 9,639
Hi Tursiops,

I'm so sorry about your dad. I am glad he was surrounded by people who loved him as he passed. I am sending lots of love and prayers your way.

❤️Delilah
__________________
Delilah

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
― Ernest Hemingway

Sobriety Date: January 1, 2016
Delilah1 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Delilah1 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-09-2018), tursiops999 (12-27-2017)
Old 12-28-2017, 09:30 PM   #36 (permalink)
Member
 
tursiops999's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,054
Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers. We had a small funeral service today, just family... it was a beautiful day and a very meaningful gathering. We did the service ourselves, so it was just family members sharing what they loved about dad, and memories from our lives together. We met at my home afterwards for food and more sharing. A very healing day. I can feel now that although i will miss him very much, I can also accept and be at peace with what has happened. Thank you all for being there for me.
tursiops999 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to tursiops999 For This Useful Post:
Astro (12-29-2017), BillieJean1 (01-02-2018), Caramel (01-09-2018), Dee74 (01-09-2018), Hevyn (12-29-2017), theVman31 (12-28-2017)
Old 12-28-2017, 09:33 PM   #37 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 3,479
Sending you a hug.
Ariesagain is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Ariesagain For This Useful Post:
Astro (12-29-2017), Dee74 (01-09-2018), tursiops999 (12-29-2017)
Old 12-29-2017, 05:22 PM   #38 (permalink)
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: New York - Upstate
Posts: 33,677
Tursiops - the service sounds just perfect, and lovely. I'm glad you wanted to share your feelings with us here.
__________________
You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle

A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.

Hevyn is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
Astro (12-30-2017), Dee74 (01-09-2018), tursiops999 (12-30-2017)
Old 01-09-2018, 01:07 PM   #39 (permalink)
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 112,453
Quote:
Originally Posted by tursiops999 View Post
Dad passed away this afternoon, very gently and peacefully. Five of the women in my family were there, and two caregivers (one caregiver's shift had ended hours before, but she knew his time was near and didn't want to leave him). He was surrounded with love.

I'm so grateful for his life, and for the time that we had together since he was diagnosed 7 weeks ago. I'm grateful that he no longer suffers (although with the help of hospice, i feel we were really able to minimize his suffering). I'm so grateful for my family pulling together to care for him.
Continuing to keep you in my prayers, tursiops.
SoberLeigh is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SoberLeigh For This Useful Post:
Astro (01-10-2018), Dee74 (01-09-2018), tursiops999 (01-09-2018)
Old 01-09-2018, 07:57 PM   #40 (permalink)
Member
 
tursiops999's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,054
Thank you, SoberLeigh. I'm doing o.k. I miss dad but I feel at peace about him.

Our focus now is on supporting my mom as she gets ready to move in with my sister. Another few weeks of caregiving and then things may quiet down again for me.

Thank you for your prayers.
tursiops999 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to tursiops999 For This Useful Post:
Astro (01-10-2018), Hevyn (01-10-2018), SoberLeigh (01-14-2018), Trohyn (01-12-2018)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:56 AM.