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Mother had a stroke yesterday

Old 10-03-2012, 05:53 PM
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i know these thoughts and the tough decisions feel overwhelming, but you will handle all of this and get through it. Your mom will be proud of you.

I hope you get some rest tonight...it will help. take care.
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Old 10-03-2012, 10:25 PM
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((TY ALL))
I felt stronger today, but now comes the home hospice part, I will be the 24\7 person, her friends will come and check on her along with the nurses several times a week.
Very grateful she does have a life insurance policy... In my panic I had forgotten about that, so, if the claim works I will be able to (at least) cover final expenses.
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Old 10-04-2012, 12:53 AM
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Scot, I am glad to hear you have some support from others. Also, for what it is worth, many of us have been through something like this with a parent and we stand with you in support.

It is a good move for you not to get too ahead of yourself. Since you will likely have a constant range of feelings all over the map, it may be best to stay in the moment even more than usual, and draw no conclusions from any strong emotion. It may sound cliche, but it was often said to me (and when it was it really helped): Everyone grieves differently.

You have made a big step by processing and accepting the situation, on the surface, and taking it step by step. I know you are thinking: "Well what the h*ll is my alternative?" But rest assured you have already begun to do what many people cannot. How fortunate your mother has you there 24/7! What an incredible gift that is for your Mother to have at this time.

Despite the pain, you will forever be grateful that you could be so present for your Mother. That fact will comfort you in grief, and for the rest of your life.
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Old 10-04-2012, 02:50 AM
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scolova ♥
i don't know what to say since i have not as yet been in your situation. i'm grateful that some things are falling in place for you (for your mom). and i hope things continue on that course. i'm so sorry you are going thru this and it brings up terrifying feelings of when i will have to someday be the one to take care of things. i hope i do as well as you are. i hope the comments here help you to stay strong as you have been - even though you may not feel like you have.
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Old 10-04-2012, 03:08 AM
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The hospice people will guide you through all this as will the funeral home. My brorher set everything up advance, made it much easier. Are you the only child?
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Old 10-04-2012, 08:05 PM
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Feeling better now that mom is home, she seemed to enjoy looking out the large front window today, I have been playing her Pandora stations on the radio, she has a comfortable bed and she has gotten visits from friends, family and our two dogs. It is so true about dogs and dying people, she puts her hand on them almost immediately and starts making noises like she's trying to talk.

I hate when I have those 'freak-out first & think later moments', I must always remember that the future is never quite as bad as my mind makes it out to be.
Still have a lot to go through, but I am grateful for and gaining strength from you all and my friends\family on facebook and my HP!

Fandy I have a brother & sister-inlaw who are now in town and trying to help until they have to leave on Sunday. My mom's friends have been helpful as well. I am thankful.

Lots of reading to do, then sleep, then lots more stuff tomorrow. God bless you all.
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Old 10-04-2012, 08:19 PM
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continued prayers for you and your mom Scot.
It sounds like she's at peace and comfortable - you're doing a great job

D
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Old 10-04-2012, 10:05 PM
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You're a great sober son, Scot. Stay strong and clear.
Keep posting. More hugs to you.
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:04 AM
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I'm glad that you have some help and support with your brother along with the Hospice folks. it seems you did the best possible thing by bringing her home to her own safe, peaceful environment. she knows where she is, the dogs know her, the sights and sounds of home are probably a great comfort even though she can't talk right now.
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Old 10-06-2012, 11:41 PM
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Just wanted to share a photo that made me happy (in a way) today. I have this webcam hooked to my PC in another room and it allows me to watch her over the wifi network, and it takes a picture every 5 minutes.
Mom able to put her hand on the last Dachshund (two years old), her and my dad had doxies for many decades. I can see all of this is taking it's toll on him as well, but I wanted him to see mom in this way.
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Old 10-07-2012, 12:17 AM
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Wonderful pix&the dogs!
They are very sensitive to the changes in envirionment.
Good idea you had with the webcam too.
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Old 10-09-2012, 10:02 PM
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Mom passed on to the other side today as peacefully as could be expected.
I can feel her with me now as well as my HP.

I cannot even begin to say how EXTREMELY Grateful I am for SR!
I COULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS without the help I have gotten here over the last ~2 years.
My mother got to see me reach one year of sobriety after (pretty much) writing me off as a hopeless drunk, she got to see me mature into a better person. I know I have struggles ahead of me, but I am so much better prepared to handle life now. Over one year ago, my answer to this problem would have been to drink (heavily) and shoot myself in the head. I had that 'option' during this, but nothing could make me do that today.
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Old 10-09-2012, 10:03 PM
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I'm so glad she got to see that Scot - and that you got to spend those last few days with her

D
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Old 10-09-2012, 10:45 PM
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Aw, Scolova. I am sorry.

But am also so proud of you. You have given yourself and your Mother a great gift by being there, and being sober. We will be here for you in the days and weeks and months ahead, and more importantly, you will be there for yourself, and this will make you strong.

Stay brave and lean on us whenever you need. Sending you prayers of strength and peace, friend.

Hugs, EQ.
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Old 10-09-2012, 10:48 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Scott...your Mother had lots to be proud about during her final years.

At 76 I can absolutely tell you that was the most loving thing you
could have done for her....bringing her home and letting her go in peace.

Her body simply was worn out...she has no more illness or pain now.

Blessings to you and to all who love your Mom...
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Old 10-09-2012, 11:32 PM
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Scott,
PM on the way. Sorry for your loss and proud for you at your coming full circle in time for your Mom.
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Old 10-10-2012, 02:42 AM
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scolova ~ sending you lots of
may your mommy rest in peace.
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Old 10-10-2012, 03:10 AM
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Scott, both of your parents are at peace and seeing you get sober and happier
is a gift that keeps giving.
you handled this so well.
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Old 10-10-2012, 03:52 AM
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I'm so sorry for your loss Scot and for all that you've been through x I am sure your mum was proud of what you have achieved. Glad you were able to be there for her in her final moments. Thinking of you xxx
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Old 10-10-2012, 04:29 AM
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Scott,

I am so sorry about your momma, but I shed tears of happiness, in that your mom was given the greatest gift by you. Her heart was rescued from the pain of seeing a son struggle in alcoholism. I can just imagine how much joy it must have given her to see her son living life sober. I am so happy for her, and for you. She could go in peace, knowing you were alright.

You took care of things so nicely for her, making sure she was where she loved to be, during her last days on this earth.

My sincere sympathy on the loss of your momma,
chicory
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