I’ve only 10 days under my belt, on day 11 today, and already I was triggered just yesterday to want to drink due to changes and differences on the job. Stinking thinking started to set up camp. I set out to accomplish only Dry January, but realized after a few days a month wont suffice. My brain is swimming in years, even decades, of neurological combat that wont go away with only a month. If I want any semblance of sanity and serenity, I have to do what it takes to accomplish that. I wont define what I think that means just yet, other than to say I will take it day by day. I’ve been down this road before and have learned to enjoy the pink cloud of fresh “sobriety” but to also understand that the fantasy wont prevail long term, and that I need to understand that sanity through sobriety will take some introspection and work.

For those who did the math, I/we started on this non-drinking path on New Year’s Day. Not a resolution as such, but my wife suggested Dry January, and we haven’t shared a period of sobriety together for many, many years, so I agreed. After all, it’s not just a new year, but a new decade. And the alliteration of “2020” seems apropos for creating a clearer vision in life. I entered the last full decade of my working years, and have an urgent need to prepare myself for my retirement years. The last decade was little more than a ...show in the grand scheme of my life so far. I want and need to re-center my life and all aspects of it. To accomplish that, I need a new outlook. One centered not on myself and my self-indulgent thoughts and habits, but an outlook of knowing my heart, my gifts, and employing those in community.

So, for those reasons, among others, I seek to recognize the facets of life for which I am or should be grateful. This is a paradigm shift of sorts for me. A new perspective.

To start, I am grateful for the community of people on this forum who are like-minded in goals; to achieve their potential for life fulfillment through sobriety. I believe sobriety to be a necessary means of achievement for me, personally. And to have this opportunity to begin in complete accord with my wife, I am grateful.

I am also grateful that I dont believe I’ve completely destroyed my health by decades of abusing substances of nearly every kind. I’ve certainly tested my health and body to the nth degree, but I am not aware of any permanent or fatal flaw in my health. It’s a good start for a new path.

I am grateful that I have sustenance for daily living; shelter, income, replenishment and nourishment of body, mind, and soul.

I am grateful for friendships that are meaningful and giving.

I am grateful for old, healthy pastimes that have resurfaced in my life. For one, a passion for travel and seeing our world, and for the time available to do that.

I am grateful for patience and understanding; my own, as well as for those who have it with me. There are many.

I am grateful for forgiveness from God and others in my life. And for the gift of being able to forgive.

I am grateful for the opportunity to retrain my brain, body and soul to live a deeper, more meaningful life, and to set a better example for my children in how to conduct oneself in life.

I am setting out to return to this thread on what I hope will be a daily start to recognize all I have to be thankful of. I dont intend it to be this long-winded daily, but write these comments as a reminder from which I can recall the purpose of my posts.

Today is day 12 without drink or other substances. For that I am grateful.

I am also grateful to Opivital and Dee for their welcomes. Thank you.

I am grateful for the opportunity to be of relatively clear mind to start and/or complete many tasks and projects around the house and on the job that have been neglected for quite awhile. And for clarity to discern their need to be done.

I am grateful for the excitement of planning for a revived pastime of camping. And for the willing participation of my wife in the endeavor.

i am thankful for shared responsibilities for living, and to have a partner to share in them.

I am thankful for a loving dog who greets me each morning and each night.

I am thankful for 3 loving kids who are discovering themselves and creating their lives in early adulthood.

I am thankful for SR as a meaningful platform by which I can learn and heal.

Today, I am grateful for a warm bed in a sufficient home. Temptation has been knocking to find a larger and more remote house. But each we’ve seen in our financial range represent more work than I am willing to dedicate at this point in my life. I’m grateful that the search has made me realize that we have it fine where we are and just need to bloom where we’re planted. It’s a relief. The “search”, although low key and informal, has been a time distraction but has helped me re-prioitize. Glad we can place it on hold.

I am also grateful for the hope and thrill that planning travels brings. My heart has been empty of this type of meaning for some time. It feels good to have positive excitement about future endeavors. And to spend time and thought in preparations. When sober, they feel like realities and not just pipe dreams. And I have the energy and wherewithal to think and act upon the preparations.

Thanks to God for my repair.

I missed my grats yesterday, but realized them just the same. I’ve been struggling with especially dry air in the house this winter and awake stopped up and have dealt with some respiratory issues. So, I decided to install a whole house humidifier this weekend. Hadn’t done this job before so I took my time and read directions. Got it done two nights ago but couldn’t get the heat above 60. Sat down last night and retraced steps and wiring. Found a wire to trigger the condensor had come loose. Fastened it and heat works normally now. I awoke this morning actually breathing through my nose. Grateful for that!

I had a daylong “kickoff” meeting yesterday for my job that was actually helpful. I’m grateful for the job and the guidance received.

I had a revelation yesterday that I am getting sucked into too many online time wasters, and eliminated several yesterday. Grateful.

My wife and I recognized 2 weeks without drinking yesterday. I was worried about her monthly night out with the gals. Due to others conflicts, it was punted until February. I believe we will make our DryJanuary goal. I plan to continue on, but her participation this month has been key to my launch. Grateful for it.

I am also grateful for many interactions and that I am engaging with others in meaningful ways, rather than just trudging through days until happy hour. It seems my mind is trying to recover. Grateful.

many other good thoughts and positive things are starting, which affirm and strengthen my resolve to continue on the sober track. Grateful.

I missed yesterday as I am still struggling trying to get my heat and humidifier working correctly. I think I got it right this am. We’ll see. I am grateful for the times that it works! Waking up without a parched mouth is nice. So is breathi g through my nose when I sleep.

I am also grateful today for honest conversations that can happen in a relationship when drinking is not involved. Yes, they can spur emotions that trigger cravings to escape, and they do, but coming to apologetic terms and understanding occurs better as well when I wait out the trigger response. I am grateful for that.

I am grateful for waking up to the many projects that need doing when I am sober. They are great distractions from drinking. And their cost has much longer impact than a night of drinking.

I am grateful that my kids want to join is for dinner on Monday. It’ll be fun.

I am grateful for paychecks received that were earned last year. They are a relief that helps me plan for the year.

I’m grateful for real rest in my sleep. Brings sharper thinking and less anxiety during the day.

I am grateful for hope for my future. Thanks.

Today, I am grateful for quality, humid air in the house. I finally got the humidifier tweaked to run properly. The air quality is amazing. Even the dog is happy!

I’m grateful its Saturday, and that I have 2 weeks of light schedule to get my annual business and financial plans together.

I am grateful to enjoy time with my wife while we hibernate for winter. I’m grateful for shared sober time with her. It’s brought a new quality to our marriage.

I’m grateful for the serenity I felt yesterday. I felt less anxious than I have in quite awhile. That really helps with quality thinking.

I’m grateful for being able to plan our trips for the year. We are renewed campers and its been fun planning trips and getting the camper prepped.

I’m grateful for being able to take life a day at a time. It feels good to not have too many worries right now.

I’m especially grateful for kids who seem to be making it fine on their own.

I’m thankful to have surfed urges successfully these past few weeks.

Today, I am grateful for increasing serenity in my life and harmony in my marriage. My wife and I enjoyed a wonderful, sober evening out this weekend. We saw a local community theater rendition of The Man of La Mancha, after enjoying one of the best seafood meals out I’ve had in some time. It was delightful. Were there thoughts that a glass of wine would have been nice? Yes, and they were mine. I even mentioned it and my wife said no, she really wants her dry January. In fact, she revealed she’s been getting daily emails of support from that movement, which is apparently sponsored by moderation management. I read a couple at dinner and they were good support. I’m grateful for our evening out and for my wife’s commitment to dry January.

I am also grateful for a personally productive weekend. I originally planned on Friday to wrap up some business planning and accounting for the New Year, but then looked at a light 2 weeks ahead to get that work done during business hours. So, I decided to get some long overdue projects done at home. We rearranged some furniture and such and cleaned out the basement a bit. It’s a whole lot easier to get these things done with good presence of mind and quality humid air. I’m grateful for the relief the humidifier is bringing us for better living and sleeping. I wasn’t stuffed up again this morning. And the air and warmth has a whole new richness to it. Grateful.

Tonight, we will gather with our kids here and enjoy a dinner together. I am grateful for that. We had invited them for last night, but they were all free tonight. Looking forward to it.

One thing that is the first to go when I drink are my organizational skills, in thoughts, deeds, and actions. I am grateful that some of these skills are returning, as is the importance of their priority for daily living. They are vital to my well-being. And I welcome their return, gratefully.

I am especially grateful for the excitement I have about planning future camping travels. It’s taken on its own passion in my life. And, I haven’t been excited or passionate about much of anything in life for quite some time. It feels good to have an actionable vision for the future once again.

Finally, I am grateful for the souls who share this place of respite on SR. It’s a great place for sorting out thoughts, journaling, and getting support and feedback from those familiar with our common struggles in life. I am grateful for folks who are familiar for nearly 9 years on this site. I thank all of you for being here. I thank God that I am here again.

Today, I am grateful to be alcohol-free for 20 continuous days. My gratitude is for reduced anxiety, increasing serenity and self-confidence and esteem. Although I am also more aware of all the tasks of daily living I’ve been blowing off for quite some time, I am also thankful for the energy and clarity to complete some of these projects and find a direction forward to dig out and keep moving forward.

I am also thankful for relief from a frantic schedule at work and time to plan my year and wrap up last year.

I’m thankful for the folks who have supported my business efforts and successes. Also for those mentors who will keep me moving forward.

I’m also thankful for a nice dinner with my kids last night. And for the leftovers that made for a delicious breakfast omelet this morning.

I’m also thankful for the teamwork my wife has offered this New Year, on so many fronts.

I’m grateful to God for blessing our efforts in life and sobriety.

Thanks, Dee!

I am grateful today for a clean checkup at my dentist. And for clean teeth!

I am grateful to catch up with co-workers and to getting things done at work.

I am grateful for the opportunity to be of assistance to others in their times of need.

I am grateful to be eating more healthfully and shedding a couple pounds.

I am grateful for energy to do the things in life that need doing.

This month has been a blessing for increased self awareness that has produced some benefit in my life. Mindfulness has increased, task monkeys have been flicked off my back, and sleep and communications have improved. Some intuitive truths have been revealed. For those, I am grateful. The question for me for the remaining days of Dry January are whether or not I should continue. And at the heart of that is the question of what I want for my life. What quality of life; what type of relationships; what level of mindfulness and purpose? My awakening over these past few weeks has been more backwards looking than forward. Today, I ask for the presence of mind to think forward as I contemplate choices beyond Dry January. Sober thought about the quality of life I seek for my remaining time on this earth. I am grateful for the progress this far. And I am grateful for being at this precipice right now so I can more mindfully consider the future I seek. How am I the best I can be and a blessing to others? I am glad to have the opportunity to contemplate and discern.

I am thankful for answered prayer. And for alertness to discern answers.

i am grateful for relief of bloat throughout my body, and beginnings of rejuvenated health.

I am grateful for genuine sleep and the needed rest quality sleep brings.

I am grateful for measured temper. Not allowing bumps to veer me off course.

I am grateful for renewing love.

I spent the day yesterday feverishly working on 2019 business wrap ups and 2020 planning. A natural part of that is crunching financials, including taxes and spending. Needless to say, it was not a fun day. And it continues today. I spoke with my wife around mid-day yesterday, and she was having a tough day, so it was probably not the ideal time to bring up finances and tax withholdings, etc. But, of course, O did, and she heard blame. When I bring up anything I perceive as needing attention in correction in our marriage, I am typically very neutral and truly believe it to be an “our” problem, not a mine or her problem. Especially when ot comes to household issues. But I can only control myself, not how she may hear it as blame, no matter how neutrally I present. Anyway, what am I grateful for?

1) The opportunity to have discussion without running to the bottle for relief, during or after the discussion. I had a tough day yesterday as well, and there was discord waiting to happen. I should’ve held my cards until a better time. I learned and didnt drink.

2) I am grateful to have the problems I discovered, because they were caused by earnings, which is ultimately a good thing. I just need to manage differently throughout the year to avoid eleventh hour surprises.

3) I am grateful for the subject matter discussions with my wife, which ultimately, I hope, help us to find a middle ground for our expectations.

4). I am grateful for the basic necessities of life, for which I do not want or need. I am provided all I need by our Creator.

5) I am grateful to face these ongoing issues during early sobriety and to discern the need to remain sober to resolve them.

Let’s all have a mindful and purposeful day!