Dame

I valued the Spiritual Part of life for so long. 3 yrs. ago I lost it (gave it up?)
Now I'm hesitant. Anger, disappointment, resentment have turned me against that "Part." I'm afraid to be grateful. Trying though. This:

The Amazing man in my life. He has stood by me for 25 years. He has always put himself second. When he went through his "midlife crisis" and behaved "selfishly". etc. a part of me cheered him on. He was putting himself first for once.

But he did enable me during my 3 yrs. of drinking. I stopped for a lot of reasons. For 1, I couldn't take what it was doing to him. He just keeps loving me. Maybe he's crazier than me. He keeps saying "Dame, maybe there's a reason I'm here with you that you don't understand." I love him. I'm grateful for him. I hope I don't get sick or disabled because he is 9 yrs. older and I WANT TO TAKE CARE OF HIM.
Sorry for the confessional. I need to own it. I want the courage to make amends (he just says "tell me you love me").
I would be grateful if I could embrace The Spirit again with a whole heart. Maybe the path is through him. Thanks for listening.

ItWillBeWorthIt

Grateful to see you posting in the gratitude threads Dame.

Happy to hear you stopped drinking.

Wishing you the very best in your journey.

Dame

Many thanks ItWillBeWorthIt.,

The acceptance here is showing me where my heart used to be. I'm also so very grateful for SR and the amazing community here.

Stay well

Opivotal

Wherever your path leads you Dame, I appreciate your honesty.

Great post!

Dame

I'm always grateful to hear from you, Opivotal. Thank you and a pleasant Saturday evening to you

Opivotal

Thank you, Dame.

Happy Sunday!