saraylah

Right now as I am thinking about many things that I am grateful for I must say at this moment what I am most Thankful for is this sober second. I am trying to stay true to my promise of doing whatever it takes to remain sober. I have not felt like this in years. Stinking thinking is dangerous so I am being very careful of what I do. I will be posting on here all day up until 5 pm which is the time that I go to school. I am doing whatever I need to to get my mind on the right track....I know in my heart that using is not what I want to do but the mind can believe those whispers of the deceiver, aka My Addiction. As I am going through this battle here I am also understanding what they mean when they say that although we remain sober and free from drugs, the disease is progressing. These urges and thoughts are making my stomach hurt but also on a good note these thoughts are making me tired. I am feeling so exhausted from crying, from walking around the house, from just thinking. I am feeling my eyelids droop as I type. I love it. I will be able to just close my eyes and go to sleep. Hopefully, when I wake up this addiction will realize I am going to do whatever it takes to stay sober. It will not break me.

Opivotal

((saraylah)) Good for you! One thing I kept in mind is we don't have to act on thoughts. You're right, that voice can be relentless, but once we know it for what it is, half the battle is won.

You stay strong, and know we're all here for support. You're not alone.