Thank you!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: In Gods Love♥
Posts: 44
Thank you!
Since I have been on this site (Haven't posted anything lately but will!) so many of you have helped me in so many ways. Ways that I can't even start to say how! I have heard from family members, former addicts everyone. There is no way that I can ever say how much I appreciate all the support I get here. Just know I deeply apprecaite all your thoughts, suggestions, ideas etc.
THANK YOU ALL!!!
THANK YOU ALL!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: In Gods Love♥
Posts: 44
Since my last post - my nephew has called and tried to give us the guilt trip. "All I have to wear on my 'expensive' (yes he said EXPENSIVE) tennis shoes. They are almost gone! By the time I walk to places my feet are freezing and my shoes are soaked. Just pray that i don't fall on the ice or snow and hurt myself.
Really? Really? He is telling me this? He told my mother he didn't want the jacket that he left at her house because it would be too big. Again! Seriously? So what it's too big you can layer. The boots he left at her house I am going to mail them to him along with the 'too large jacket'. My conscious (sorry - I can't spell) is bothering me now since it's getting near Christmas. I want to send him some clothes and some pkg foods. However he tells me he is on foodstamps but they have not put his money on his card yet? Then he tells me all he has is can corn and can peas. It hurts me knowing that he doesn't have any food. I did tell him to call St. Vincents de Paul (catholic services) to see if they can help him. He told me about the 'free phone' - which I called up because he said he had to pay $50 up front. Sure - he wanted the fancy one so that he can get the internet. I asked him when does he get his unemployment check and he said next week. I told him ok - I guess you will just have to wait till then to get THAT phone. Sigh......
I know I have to be strong and not enable him by sending money to him. But it's hard! But! I am doing that - not sending money! I told him I love him and I will support him in prayer and all but no money. It's been such a roller coaster ride with this!
My mother his grandmother is feeling sad knowing he is way up there with no family. I told her "Mom, it was his CHOICE, you asked him if he wants to come back and he said no. So.....it's his choice!
Really? Really? He is telling me this? He told my mother he didn't want the jacket that he left at her house because it would be too big. Again! Seriously? So what it's too big you can layer. The boots he left at her house I am going to mail them to him along with the 'too large jacket'. My conscious (sorry - I can't spell) is bothering me now since it's getting near Christmas. I want to send him some clothes and some pkg foods. However he tells me he is on foodstamps but they have not put his money on his card yet? Then he tells me all he has is can corn and can peas. It hurts me knowing that he doesn't have any food. I did tell him to call St. Vincents de Paul (catholic services) to see if they can help him. He told me about the 'free phone' - which I called up because he said he had to pay $50 up front. Sure - he wanted the fancy one so that he can get the internet. I asked him when does he get his unemployment check and he said next week. I told him ok - I guess you will just have to wait till then to get THAT phone. Sigh......
I know I have to be strong and not enable him by sending money to him. But it's hard! But! I am doing that - not sending money! I told him I love him and I will support him in prayer and all but no money. It's been such a roller coaster ride with this!
My mother his grandmother is feeling sad knowing he is way up there with no family. I told her "Mom, it was his CHOICE, you asked him if he wants to come back and he said no. So.....it's his choice!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
These are the 12 steps of AA/NA/SA/OA, alwaysthere4u. 
The 12 Steps
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become
unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we
understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our
wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our short-comings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to
them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would
injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God,
as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to
carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this
message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
The 12 Steps
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become
unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we
understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our
wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our short-comings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to
them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would
injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God,
as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to
carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this
message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: In Gods Love♥
Posts: 44
Thank you so much Opivotal! This truly helps me to understand what he is telling me now. It's so hard to deal with my nephew on his drug situation. it's hard to believe what he tells me - He lives in AK - and I live in AL. I never had children but raised my 3 nephews. I am married and thank God - my husband is understanding. He tells me I can't save the world - that my nephew has to do it on his own. He has to CHOOSE to get clean. I can't do it for him. I am seeing a therapist now to try and understand this. She tells me that I can't let the take over my life. Well - it has and I just cover up so that my mother (his grandmother doesn't know what has happened - she is 86) thinks everything is ok with me. My husband knows some but not all. I can't sleep well at night just thinking........Sigh.....
But thank you for this!!♥
But thank you for this!!♥
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
((always)) Have you considered Al Anon? Perhaps this may be another avenue for you to share and find some peace. 
We also have a wonderful Friends and Family Forum.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
We also have a wonderful Friends and Family Forum.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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