nano

I am returning to SR after not posting for many months. Today I am grateful for the many sober months, almost 2 years now, that my dear daughter has maintained. We share a fine relationship. She is working her steps now for the second time. She is fascinated by the process and is learning so much about herself and the world around her, taking in all the knowledge that the wise and wonderful in her AA groups have to offer. The AA community saved her life, and healed my broken heart. I will forever be grateful for the powerful, vast, worldwide network of caring souls who have nurtured so many on the brink of great peril. Thank you for bringing my baby back. Thank you for your honesty and your humanness. I have found very little compassion within my own family or my family of close friends, with whom I shared 35 years of parenting. The subject is too difficult for them to get their minds around and none have made so much as a phone call to inquire as to how my daughter is doing, or how I am doing, or how our family is coping. Most have either disappeared from my life, or they have managed to avoid the topic of alcoholism/addiction with great skill. Many of these friends have suffered great tragedy themselves over the years, for which I have been present in their recovery and active in giving to them of my time, love and energy. I feel abandoned by them in my time of need. So I am working on my compassion for them each day and feeling grateful that, even without the love and support of our family and friends, my daughter and our family, including her siblings, are surviving and thriving. We love each other without expectations, we have released so much of the unhealthy codependency. It is truly astounding how much we have learned, as a family unit and individually, over the course of the last two years. And I know that I have changed, which undoubtedly has also had an affect on my other relationships. But it is so fascinating and troubling that this healthy shift in our family has had such a negative affect on our friendships and familiar relationships. There are those pesky expectations again, rearing their ugly head and making me feel bad; making wonder why friends don't care as much about me as I have about them, and their children. Life is a process of letting go, isn't it? And I have much more practice to make before I master such things. I hate to see old, cherished friendships fade away... It hurts. But I would never choose to go back to where I was before my daughter revealed her addiction and took us all down the path of recovery. I am grateful for the growth our family has realized and the ongoing process of learning to love and let go and allow each and every individual to be who they are, without judgement and without expectations that smother one's soul. Thank you for being here SR community, and thanks for listening.

Opivotal

Welcome back nano! Thank you for posting such an uplifting account of your daughters progress and the changes you've both accomplished.

You're an amazing Mom! Congratulations to your daughter and her 2 years!