Bedtime Gratitude Prayer
Ben's Papa
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Chesapeake,VA
Posts: 970
Hi Eddie,Sherry,and Phinny,
I'm glad to see that you all survived Thanksgiving.Now it's time to get ready for Christmas.I put the tree up yesterday and watched Bad Santa with my daughters last night.What a Yuletime treasure!
All I want for Christmas is a wooden pickle.
God bless.
I'm glad to see that you all survived Thanksgiving.Now it's time to get ready for Christmas.I put the tree up yesterday and watched Bad Santa with my daughters last night.What a Yuletime treasure!
All I want for Christmas is a wooden pickle.
God bless.
No expectations!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
Hey, Sherry, Phinny, and Richie!!
I am grateful that one of the other pharmacists at work told me they were glad to have me there. Whee!! I still need to make sure everything's OK with my boss, 'cause my husband worries so much about me losing my job.
And I am grateful for online shopping. I am pretty much done for Christmas thanks to eBay, Amazon, etc. Then again, I'm only buying for a few people this year. And I still need to get my husband something in an actual store.
Bad Santa is another holiday classic! How was Harry Potter, Sherry? And, Phinny, did you work out? I need to get up early in the morning myself and go lift at the gym. Have a swell night, everybody!!
Love and hugs,
Eddie
I am grateful that one of the other pharmacists at work told me they were glad to have me there. Whee!! I still need to make sure everything's OK with my boss, 'cause my husband worries so much about me losing my job.
And I am grateful for online shopping. I am pretty much done for Christmas thanks to eBay, Amazon, etc. Then again, I'm only buying for a few people this year. And I still need to get my husband something in an actual store.
Bad Santa is another holiday classic! How was Harry Potter, Sherry? And, Phinny, did you work out? I need to get up early in the morning myself and go lift at the gym. Have a swell night, everybody!!
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
Originally Posted by eddie z.
And, Phinny, did you work out? I need to get up early in the morning myself and go lift at the gym.
Yup, I worked out and it feels gooooood. It's kind of like meetings, sometimes I dread going, but I ALWAYS feel better after I do. JUST DO IT, I guess.
Have a good night eddie, richie, and sherry.
No expectations!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
LOL. What did you do exactly? I have this machine here at the house called a Cardio-Glide which I use for my cardio (duh!) and I go to the gym a couple of times a week to lift weights. I'd like to do some of the group exercise classes at the gym but their schedule doesn't seem to fit with mine.
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
I do cardio step with weights at home. I put on some hard music and kick! It feels so good to sweat!
I've tried the gym thing many times and I end up not going and wasting my money. I am thinking of investing instead in a Nautalis Elliptical - spendy 'cause it's gym quality. That way I can alternate my workouts and still do it all at home, where I KNOW I will work out.
I take the boys on short walks, too, but I have bad feet (bone spurs and arch problems) so that is not a viable form of exercise for me.
Oh, I have free weights, too. They are cheap and you can get a good strength training routine by varying what you do with them. There's lots of good sites on the web for different free weight routines.
I know that for me, working out is the number one best thing I can do for myself to feel good.
I've tried the gym thing many times and I end up not going and wasting my money. I am thinking of investing instead in a Nautalis Elliptical - spendy 'cause it's gym quality. That way I can alternate my workouts and still do it all at home, where I KNOW I will work out.
I take the boys on short walks, too, but I have bad feet (bone spurs and arch problems) so that is not a viable form of exercise for me.
Oh, I have free weights, too. They are cheap and you can get a good strength training routine by varying what you do with them. There's lots of good sites on the web for different free weight routines.
I know that for me, working out is the number one best thing I can do for myself to feel good.
No expectations!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
Believe it or not, back in the early '90s, I was certified as an aerobics instructor and personal trainer. I've been doing cardio for over twenty years and strength training for almost seventeen, so I've tried all kinds of things. I love step aerobics, although I haven't done it in ages. I really should re-incorporate some music with my exercise 'cause it helps me keep up the pace. Thanks for the reminder!!
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
No, I didn't know that, Eddie. That is SO cool.
Hmm... now that I know that little tidbit, better watch out or I'll be abusing you for information. Like what do you recommend for good upper body strength training (I could kill a man with my thighs -hard as a rock, but I am too week to open a pickle jar
), or, my knees are starting to complain with the cardio step I do... am I heading for trouble? But, I won't (abuse you, that is). It's just that you are SO knowledgeable and SO helpful... 
Nighty night. Sleep well, all. :sleeping:
Hmm... now that I know that little tidbit, better watch out or I'll be abusing you for information. Like what do you recommend for good upper body strength training (I could kill a man with my thighs -hard as a rock, but I am too week to open a pickle jar
), or, my knees are starting to complain with the cardio step I do... am I heading for trouble? But, I won't (abuse you, that is). It's just that you are SO knowledgeable and SO helpful... Nighty night. Sleep well, all. :sleeping:
No expectations!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
I almost wrecked my knees with step. I had to change to cross-country ski machines for a while. And swimming, too. Feel free to abuse me all you like, Phinny. I enjoy sharing. Time for work, though, now.
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,440
Hi everyone. I am peeking my head in, embarrassed. I messed up. I have been messing up, smoking pot. This of course led me to hang with the wrong crowd and I ended up doing coke the other night. I feel terrible. I am grateful that I have the courage to tell on myself. Please pray for me!
And Eddie, Harry Potter was awesome!
And Eddie, Harry Potter was awesome!
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,440
Thanks Eddie and Richie.
I went to see "just friends" with my son and a friend from aa. Then my friend and I went to a meeting. I feel a little better today. I am grateful that I know what to do to get clean. Now I need to learn how to stay clean.
Sherry
I went to see "just friends" with my son and a friend from aa. Then my friend and I went to a meeting. I feel a little better today. I am grateful that I know what to do to get clean. Now I need to learn how to stay clean.
Sherry
Little Girl Found
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: North Andover, MA
Posts: 567
Thank you for your honesty Sherry! And, glad you came back!
I want to share something here that happened last night at one of my meetings. A girl I'm pretty good friends with apologized to us for messing up and basically living a lie for the past 2 and 1/2 years. She picked up her 6 year token last week, and she said that she had been dishonest because she actually used 2 and 1/2 years ago! It was soooo hard for her to admit and I swear, I have never had so much respect for someone than I did last night. Especially since she's been working a really good program and she's someone who I look up to for advice and such. She came into the program when she was only 14, and she admitted that she loved her pride so much that it kept her for being honest for all this time. I couldn't imagine living that long knowing that with each year I was supposedly sober--it was actually a lie. But, I can definitely relate. I've even had the problem where I was so consumed with my lies and the fabrications that I actually started believing it was the truth, and it was so hard to differenciate between the two. Amazing how our minds work!
Now, for me--it's not so much how I think other people are going to think of me if I'm honest--it's more like I hope that I'm helping someone else out with my honesty. Sometimes I can't even be honest--no matter how much I try--because it's become so much a part of my life to lie that only with the help of someone else (a sponsor for example) I'm able to see the situation as it really is.
So, I want to be honest with you people here too. I've started becomming honest with people in my homegroup so they know of my struggles. It's true that I had my last drink in May of this year, but I've been struggling with over-the-counter cold pills for the past couple months. I'm able to stay off them for maybe a week at a time, but something takes over me--and I can't help but take them to "blur the edges" as I say. My sponsor says that even though the threat of death isn't as immediate as it would be if I were drinking or taking "the hard stuff" (oh, and thank God, I've never been able to get to the "hard stuff" .That's totally by the grace of my HP because I know I would be totally strung out if I had the chance) I'm slowly killing myself. I think I'm in the process of surrender--and it's really hard! It's like--I wish my self-will would just die...and it's taking FOREVER!!! A couple weeks ago in my homegroup meeting--I called my sponsor after I took some of these pills and admitted that I was high and hopefully I would come down enough to be able to drive to my meeting. I did--and at that meeting, I told everyone what was going on. It was horrible--because when I take them, my speech motor skills are screwed up and not to be offensive--I seriously sound like I have Down's Syndrome. It was one of the most horrible, yet totally liberating things I've yet to do. I also had to read something afterwards, and the words on the paper were jumping all over the place. That coupled with my slurry speech, I was mortified. I tried handing the paper over to my sponsor--and she's like--"no, keep reading". Now, comming from someone who had a background in Communications and won awards for speeches I've made in my Public Speaking classes--you could imagine how I felt. But, it's so important for this process--I know. And, like I mentioned before, it really isn't about how I look anymore, it's about helping someone else out with my story and just by the way I look and what I'm going through.
So, thank you again Sherry. I swear--when I came back to AA to start working a program of recovery...I didn't know what I was getting into. I am a "REAL ALCOHOLIC" and this disease wants me dead--any way it can. That's so scary and I'm praying and waiting for the moment where I totally surrender to that idea. But, it's been taking a while for that fact to travel from my head to my heart.
Thanks for being here everyone. By the way--I've been asking others who go to NA too--do you think that would help...I mean, REALLY help with this problem I'm having with cold pills? I guess like AA, I would have to find really good NA meetings too. And, since this thread is mainly people who identify themselves as addicts--does anyone know of anyone who might be able to help me out?
Danielle
I want to share something here that happened last night at one of my meetings. A girl I'm pretty good friends with apologized to us for messing up and basically living a lie for the past 2 and 1/2 years. She picked up her 6 year token last week, and she said that she had been dishonest because she actually used 2 and 1/2 years ago! It was soooo hard for her to admit and I swear, I have never had so much respect for someone than I did last night. Especially since she's been working a really good program and she's someone who I look up to for advice and such. She came into the program when she was only 14, and she admitted that she loved her pride so much that it kept her for being honest for all this time. I couldn't imagine living that long knowing that with each year I was supposedly sober--it was actually a lie. But, I can definitely relate. I've even had the problem where I was so consumed with my lies and the fabrications that I actually started believing it was the truth, and it was so hard to differenciate between the two. Amazing how our minds work!
Now, for me--it's not so much how I think other people are going to think of me if I'm honest--it's more like I hope that I'm helping someone else out with my honesty. Sometimes I can't even be honest--no matter how much I try--because it's become so much a part of my life to lie that only with the help of someone else (a sponsor for example) I'm able to see the situation as it really is.
So, I want to be honest with you people here too. I've started becomming honest with people in my homegroup so they know of my struggles. It's true that I had my last drink in May of this year, but I've been struggling with over-the-counter cold pills for the past couple months. I'm able to stay off them for maybe a week at a time, but something takes over me--and I can't help but take them to "blur the edges" as I say. My sponsor says that even though the threat of death isn't as immediate as it would be if I were drinking or taking "the hard stuff" (oh, and thank God, I've never been able to get to the "hard stuff" .That's totally by the grace of my HP because I know I would be totally strung out if I had the chance) I'm slowly killing myself. I think I'm in the process of surrender--and it's really hard! It's like--I wish my self-will would just die...and it's taking FOREVER!!! A couple weeks ago in my homegroup meeting--I called my sponsor after I took some of these pills and admitted that I was high and hopefully I would come down enough to be able to drive to my meeting. I did--and at that meeting, I told everyone what was going on. It was horrible--because when I take them, my speech motor skills are screwed up and not to be offensive--I seriously sound like I have Down's Syndrome. It was one of the most horrible, yet totally liberating things I've yet to do. I also had to read something afterwards, and the words on the paper were jumping all over the place. That coupled with my slurry speech, I was mortified. I tried handing the paper over to my sponsor--and she's like--"no, keep reading". Now, comming from someone who had a background in Communications and won awards for speeches I've made in my Public Speaking classes--you could imagine how I felt. But, it's so important for this process--I know. And, like I mentioned before, it really isn't about how I look anymore, it's about helping someone else out with my story and just by the way I look and what I'm going through.
So, thank you again Sherry. I swear--when I came back to AA to start working a program of recovery...I didn't know what I was getting into. I am a "REAL ALCOHOLIC" and this disease wants me dead--any way it can. That's so scary and I'm praying and waiting for the moment where I totally surrender to that idea. But, it's been taking a while for that fact to travel from my head to my heart.
Thanks for being here everyone. By the way--I've been asking others who go to NA too--do you think that would help...I mean, REALLY help with this problem I'm having with cold pills? I guess like AA, I would have to find really good NA meetings too. And, since this thread is mainly people who identify themselves as addicts--does anyone know of anyone who might be able to help me out?
Danielle
Little Girl Found
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: North Andover, MA
Posts: 567
By the way--I totally love feeling like I'm loopy and out of it. It's so much better than "eh". I'm being honest--this junk hasn't yet kicked my butt. Not entirely at least. I'm still not done yet.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,440
((((Danielle))))
Thank you for that post. I can relate to so much. Like getting it from my head to my heart. Being totally honest, when I'm so used to lying. It's not easy. It can be done, though. I am grateful today that you posted so honestly also. Together we can beat this disease. Let's do it together, Danielle.
Love and hugs
Sherry
Thank you for that post. I can relate to so much. Like getting it from my head to my heart. Being totally honest, when I'm so used to lying. It's not easy. It can be done, though. I am grateful today that you posted so honestly also. Together we can beat this disease. Let's do it together, Danielle.
Love and hugs
Sherry
No expectations!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
(((((Danielle))))),
Thank you so much for sharing that!! I used to try anything to get high including OTC cough and cold medicines. I know what you mean about "blurring the edges." They say our bottom is when we stop digging. Put that shovel down and just check out some NA meetings. I think NA looks at addiction more globally than AA and it may be just the place for you!
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Thank you so much for sharing that!! I used to try anything to get high including OTC cough and cold medicines. I know what you mean about "blurring the edges." They say our bottom is when we stop digging. Put that shovel down and just check out some NA meetings. I think NA looks at addiction more globally than AA and it may be just the place for you!
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,440
Today I am grateful to have a choice. Today I am grateful that God is showing me the way. And I am very grateful for all the love and support I find here at SR, and on this thread in particular.
Sherry
Sherry
No expectations!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
And I am grateful that this weekend on call is almost over and that I finally got to tan today. I have been insanely busy with work and haven't been able to exercise, but I hope to tomorrow morning.
I'm also grateful that Sherry and Danielle are with us.
Love and hugs,
Eddie
I'm also grateful that Sherry and Danielle are with us.
Love and hugs,
Eddie
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