MidnightBlue

Hi, all.

I know, this section is supposed to be for expressing gratitude. I honestly tried to do my gratitude lists, but I can't. I mean I can do the list, but I don't feel sincere gratitude.

The word itself "gratitude" causes huge resentment in me. Most of my life this "you should be grateful..." went along with further abuse, humiliation, and manipulation.

Logically I do realize the difference between "gratitude" and Gratitude, but still I don't feel it.

I resent to be grateful in terms of "I have a roof over my head, and some people don't". I resent because, for me, it is not a genuine gratitude that comes from the deep of my heart, but rather "consoling" myself that there are people in worse situation, and my situation is not that bad, and, maybe, I should "relax" and stop trying to achieve more. This gratitude doesn't liberate me, rather pushes back to my "comfort zone" where I am supposed to sit tight and take whatever crap life throws at me.

I am not religious in conventional way, though it doesn't mean I am not spiritual.

It would be great to hear your opinions on this question. And I sincerely hope for you to be "gentle" with me (I mean - I am not doing steps, I don't see Ego as the absolute evil responsible for all my misfortunes...And it was not easy for me to come out with this question)

So, what do I miss when don't get gratitude?

Thank you all a lot in advance)

Dee74

I find gratitude indispensible MB.

I don't often do grat lists because I think it's a very personal thing.

but today - just off the top of my head:

I'm grateful I live in a great part of the world
I'm grateful I have people who love me
I'm grateful I have dinner waiting for me
I'm grateful that I did not let things get to me today
I'm grateful I have enough money to pay my bills next week and a little more besides.

to me, thats a lot better than

my leg hurts, my back hurts, I can't get comfortable today, I'm wheezing, my partner is not here tonight, and I have a looming house move ahead of me and lots of little worries about that...

I spent years focusing on the second list, and taking the first list totally for granted.

Not anymore.

I can't tell you what to do, but that's the gratitude deal with me M

'Without the dark, we'd never see the stars.' Martin Luther King Jr.

D

HeadLump

Does it help if you think of it more as appreciation than gratitude, MB?

For me, appreciation is really integral to happiness.

If you read some of the gratitude threads here and substitute 'appreciate' for 'gratitude' it might make your heart soar - it does mine!

Stoogy

Great point Dee, I spent way too long focusing on what is wrong with the world rather than all the things that are good in my life, way too good to waste away like I did for too many years.

Rusty Zipper

until i was grateful for the things and people i had in my life,

i was never satisfied with the things i was endlessly to get.

gratitude got/gets me out of self satisfacion midy