Grateful to be sad about my addiction
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 15
Grateful to be sad about my addiction
I'm grateful to feel bad about my addiction. I know being depressed is no way to go. Thats not what I feel right now (props to the Lexapro and Strattera, most likely). Anyway, I feel good about looking at MY alcoholism and seeing it as something that I am ready to rid myself of. For the longest time, I made excuses. But no more.. I own this - its mine. I'm grateful to not be in denial about it anymore. Now I can at least put the wheels in motion to handle it. I'm grateful to not be blind to it.
Headed in the right direction.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 257
sad and mourning
Hi,
I too understand this sadness. I am sad at the things I did to embarass myself and family. I'm sad about what could have happened and the silly risks I took.
But on a deeper level, I'm sad and mourning the old "me." Don't get me wrong. I don't want her back....she was on a path of destruction. But there was a certain part of my lifestyle, that was the happy party girl and she is still happy and attends parties, but there is an element missing (ETOH) and it is missing for good. It is like a death then. And I'm mourning that old self. I can't mourn for too long though. This is the equivalent of mourning the caterpillar when there is a beautiful butterfly to admire.
We can all be better and more beautiful without our addictive substances. Well, I'm going to get busy getting over the grieving of the caterpillar and start enjoying the butterfuly.
I too understand this sadness. I am sad at the things I did to embarass myself and family. I'm sad about what could have happened and the silly risks I took.
But on a deeper level, I'm sad and mourning the old "me." Don't get me wrong. I don't want her back....she was on a path of destruction. But there was a certain part of my lifestyle, that was the happy party girl and she is still happy and attends parties, but there is an element missing (ETOH) and it is missing for good. It is like a death then. And I'm mourning that old self. I can't mourn for too long though. This is the equivalent of mourning the caterpillar when there is a beautiful butterfly to admire.
We can all be better and more beautiful without our addictive substances. Well, I'm going to get busy getting over the grieving of the caterpillar and start enjoying the butterfuly.
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