AdmimalBlueEyes

I'm thankfull for the owner of the hotel I'm at allowing me to stay here for the last 6 months on credit while I became healthy or at least started to go on a path other then continuis intoxication peppered with thoughts of sucide . I'm bipolar and I have for all intents and purposes 0 emotions , because of my mind set I have no meaningfull bonds with family or friends hence the choice to live or not live is not relivent . I'm a christian and I genuinly lean towards good I hope that when I die there is a option to not be concious , though from what I've heard there isn'
t if I'm some how "healed " then who I am will not be me just like I was when I was drunk , on meds, or on highs or lows in the past , Anyways for the time being it looks like I can help some people that need it so I'm glad I'm alive to fullfill this goal , hence I'm thankfull my friend helped me