tehmazzyland

My mate Al - thanks.

Hell, I was reading a post on the mental health section about the difficulty of knowing who/what your 'self' is after getting sober -

- and it made me realise I owe my mate Alan a massive, massive thanks for putting up with me, sticking by me, supporting from a distance when it was necessary but never EVER not being there for me. And there were times it must have been hell for him because I'm not the most pleasant person when I start losing it, in fact I'm f**king unpleasant at the best of times and even worse at the worst of times.

Not only that but I let him, and some other very good friends - very good people - down at a time when they really really needed to be not let down. And there's no coming back from that.

How he's held his patience, equanimity, balance, care, compassion... it's beyond me.

And now things are slowly getting somewhere that is - things are getting close to being nearly ok. There's even a chance that my life could actually be ok, some time in the foreseeable future. Maybe not now, or tomorrow, or next month. But maybe, maybe by the end of 2013 things might be - not awful. And any good that happens, I'd never have survived to see it without his support.

I'd never have made it, not even close.

I've been planning to let him know for a little while - he's so used to my ingratitude that it's difficult to be grateful sometimes - but next time we speak he'll hear it straight - I owe him my life.

Thank you Alan. And I am so sorry for everything. But thank you, thank you so much for still being there.

(UK football in-joke for any Blades out there: See, Wednesday fans aren't all bad!)

Drugssucks

tehmazzyland, great post. I feel the same way about my husband. The love and patience he has shown me cannot be described. I wouldn't put up with me.