sweet tooth

My husband is an alcoholic; I'm a control freak.

I'm working through "Women who Love Too Much"(Robin Norwood) and find the stuff at the end about recovering is like filling that empty 50% in me.
Saying no, or just "oh", instead of getting into the games are things I was never allowed as a child. My needs were not always met; my feelings were a source of irritation for other members of my family, or my sister would try to make me laugh at times when I was upset and feeling disregarded. I felt like I was supposed to go along with the general concensus, only that made me feel invisible because that is what everyone wanted; me to just fit in and not matter. No one wanted to know that I felt invisible and powerless in my environment.

That is why I rebelled, because then I got noticed.

I could never understand how I lost my cool in relationships, (lost lots of lovely guys that way, or just never had the guts to let someone see who I was) but was calm when I was single.

Is anyone else working through intimacy fears(ie easier to say my partner is my problem than just my partner)?