candi7

I've learned that if I'm going to make it in sobriety, I have to be teachable. I've learned that I have to swallow stuff that I don't like to get to the end result. I've screwed up in my daughters life and the hard lesson I've learned is to keep my mouth shut, even if that means biting a hole through my tongue. She's worth so much more to me that having to prove a point. Yesterday and this morning with her.. she actually started to talk more with me. My sponsor's point was made and I'm finally doing what is right about it. I had to make amends quickly with her concerning causing drama on her birthday. She said that she accepted my apology. She actually started to discuss what I did that upset her, so instead of going on the defense (my nature), I listened and asked her questions about it.. She told me how she felt and we ended up better for it. She's an amazing girl and I can see her fighting hard for her future and goals that she sets for herself! I've learned as well that my sweetheart seems to be giving me another chance- he's been helping me so much with my daughter (all these things I don't deserve-but am blessed for), But for now, not going to focus on what might happen (with him) and live for today and for now. If it works out, it does, if it doesn't I'm sure I'll be just fine. But I'm keeping my mouth shut when I need to and learn from the good and bad daily without beating the stuffing out of myself.


ONLY THOSE WHO ARE TEACHABLE WILL LEARN... (I strive for this daily)
LOL, I remember as a child I preferred a spanking to being sat down and hearing how I disappointed or what I had done to someone-how bad I was, I wanted the easy way out. I wanted the spanking so I didn't have to think about it. Then came alcohol, I didn't want to deal with my emotions-so I numbed myself.. So now, I have to learn a better way-sometimes I have to go through the fire to get what I need-go the harder route. The truth can be hard to deal with-but what I was doing before didn't work. It's all about living life on life's terms. And acceptance for today:

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes. " 417(4th edition B.B.)

Rusty Zipper

candi, it was said to me, i have to remain stupid,

and with an attitude of gratitude

candi7

Thank you Rusty!