were to start
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: lake stevens wa
Posts: 1
were to start
I knew were to begin when I hit rock bottom with my drinking. It's a question of were to begin with the people in my life that I blamed for my drinking or the daily situation I faced that day.
I am a mean drunk and mouthy at best. The sad part is I don't remember what I said, but the ones I love the most and that love me do. I didn't drink daily I would let it all build up for a few weeks and then do one hell of a number. Daily or weekly I am still an alcoholic.
I met the man of my dreams 2 years ago after we parted 25 years ago as child hood friends. I was divorced with 3 children ages 15, 11, and 1. He was leaving his wife after 23 years of a lets get married cause we are pregnant teens situation with two daughters 18 and 21.
The divorce was ugly and exspensive. His wife was well lets just say a road of hell. One daughter was excepting the other was not. I took his younger daughter under my wing as a nurturing friend and helped her through many things. (to many to list) Like I said I have 3 kids of my own and yes I am not a good alcoholic but I am one of the best moms and caretakers around.
As time went on dealing with his situations I grew angry, It seamed like monthly someone from his side needed help or a place to live. Again I have a big heart and am a good caretaker but I reached a point were I went to the store after 5 months into sobriety and lost it.
Since then (7 months) I have been like I said going on my 2 week 3 week ok I need a drink. My new love grew distant and now both daughters dont like me. I went off on one of them the other has never even seen me drink. I understand they worry about there dad and want him happy. BUT in every conversation about me its hey dad are you sure you want to be with an alcoholic> He tells them he loves me and is were he wants to be and still they turn there noses up at both of us.
i guess my biggest struggle as of today I appologized to his one daughter for what i said that day I was drinking, It was the only time i ever said anything bad to her. She accepted kinda but I am leary of her acceptence. I am not ready for sunday dinners nor a close friendship again with her. She has said and done many mean things to me with in 2 years and I don't want her around yet. i feel i havnt covered it all and I know I have so much more to say, but i just needed to start somewere.
I am a mean drunk and mouthy at best. The sad part is I don't remember what I said, but the ones I love the most and that love me do. I didn't drink daily I would let it all build up for a few weeks and then do one hell of a number. Daily or weekly I am still an alcoholic.
I met the man of my dreams 2 years ago after we parted 25 years ago as child hood friends. I was divorced with 3 children ages 15, 11, and 1. He was leaving his wife after 23 years of a lets get married cause we are pregnant teens situation with two daughters 18 and 21.
The divorce was ugly and exspensive. His wife was well lets just say a road of hell. One daughter was excepting the other was not. I took his younger daughter under my wing as a nurturing friend and helped her through many things. (to many to list) Like I said I have 3 kids of my own and yes I am not a good alcoholic but I am one of the best moms and caretakers around.
As time went on dealing with his situations I grew angry, It seamed like monthly someone from his side needed help or a place to live. Again I have a big heart and am a good caretaker but I reached a point were I went to the store after 5 months into sobriety and lost it.
Since then (7 months) I have been like I said going on my 2 week 3 week ok I need a drink. My new love grew distant and now both daughters dont like me. I went off on one of them the other has never even seen me drink. I understand they worry about there dad and want him happy. BUT in every conversation about me its hey dad are you sure you want to be with an alcoholic> He tells them he loves me and is were he wants to be and still they turn there noses up at both of us.
i guess my biggest struggle as of today I appologized to his one daughter for what i said that day I was drinking, It was the only time i ever said anything bad to her. She accepted kinda but I am leary of her acceptence. I am not ready for sunday dinners nor a close friendship again with her. She has said and done many mean things to me with in 2 years and I don't want her around yet. i feel i havnt covered it all and I know I have so much more to say, but i just needed to start somewere.
...is learning and growing...
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 573
Hi and welcome 
It sounds like you are dealing with a lot and SR is certainly a great place for support in order to become/stay sober. You may want to post this in the Newcomer's forum as you will get a lot more responses there.
Take care and best of luck on your journey.
It sounds like you are dealing with a lot and SR is certainly a great place for support in order to become/stay sober. You may want to post this in the Newcomer's forum as you will get a lot more responses there.
Take care and best of luck on your journey.
Eternally Grateful 4/25/08
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 212
Thank you for sharing that with us. I am so sorry you are going through this pain and I want to reassure you that there is hope for you to stop this bad cycle. Please put yourself first and get help from a doctor or AA to help you stop drinking. There is a life full of peace and forgiveness and that's the life you deserve! Take care and keep posting!
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