Bucking the tide
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 13
Bucking the tide
Nothing has really changed. Life doesnt get beautiful and full of wonderful changes. That has been my experience. The one thing that infuriates me the most is when members say when you quit drinking/drugs...life gets so much better.
No, it does not. For the most part, you have to deal with the S#it sober. it's still S&it, you are just deaing with life on S$it terms sober.
Once you stop drinking.drugging etc, your probelms do not go away magically,
You just have to deal with them sober.
dread
No, it does not. For the most part, you have to deal with the S#it sober. it's still S&it, you are just deaing with life on S$it terms sober.
Once you stop drinking.drugging etc, your probelms do not go away magically,
You just have to deal with them sober.
dread
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Redefining Happy
Posts: 2,085
Hi Abultra,
Glad to have you here with us. I still some of the same problems that I did when I was an active wino (although I don't have to worry about picking stupid fights with my husband, drunk posting, stuff like that which I am very thankful for) but I find it is a lot easier *for me* to deal with problems now that I am sober. I definitely don't want to go back to my drunken life. I hated myself then and I don't hate myself anymore (well not too much... it's a work in progress). That's my experience though
.
Glad to have you here with us. I still some of the same problems that I did when I was an active wino (although I don't have to worry about picking stupid fights with my husband, drunk posting, stuff like that which I am very thankful for) but I find it is a lot easier *for me* to deal with problems now that I am sober. I definitely don't want to go back to my drunken life. I hated myself then and I don't hate myself anymore (well not too much... it's a work in progress). That's my experience though
.
Ozone Ranger
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dazed and confused
Posts: 138
I subscribe to the idea that there is more to active addiction than the physical act of using, and there is more to recovery than abstinence.
With guidance, we can change what we do, which in turn will change how we feel and think. We stop lying, stealing, cheating, and the guilt and remorse goes away. We confront our fear, we do what we need to do in spite of the fear, and gain confidence. We interact with others on a similar path, taking risks with ourselves and our most personal details, and develop trust.
You are very right about one thing. Putting the plug in the jug won't change how we feel about ourselves. When we look in the mirror and see the same slimy POS that has always been there, we don't feel any different about what we see. We need to take action to change that.
With guidance, we can change what we do, which in turn will change how we feel and think. We stop lying, stealing, cheating, and the guilt and remorse goes away. We confront our fear, we do what we need to do in spite of the fear, and gain confidence. We interact with others on a similar path, taking risks with ourselves and our most personal details, and develop trust.
You are very right about one thing. Putting the plug in the jug won't change how we feel about ourselves. When we look in the mirror and see the same slimy POS that has always been there, we don't feel any different about what we see. We need to take action to change that.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
The gratitude forum is one place i like to visit to share the little good things I appreciate most every day. It is the one forum where there is no sniping, debates and arguing.
like the intro. says, it's a place to share the good stuff...
some days there is precious little "good stuff", but I try to find something every day to be grateful for....like my 10 nightly grats.
Nope, your problems don't magically poof away when you stop drinking, but HOW I DEAL with them is much easier...I know if i feel kind of sh$$ty today, i'll feel differently tomorrow...and I am grateful for that sober morning.
I think this thread is misplaced, perhaps it should be moved to newcomers?
like the intro. says, it's a place to share the good stuff...
some days there is precious little "good stuff", but I try to find something every day to be grateful for....like my 10 nightly grats.
Nope, your problems don't magically poof away when you stop drinking, but HOW I DEAL with them is much easier...I know if i feel kind of sh$$ty today, i'll feel differently tomorrow...and I am grateful for that sober morning.
I think this thread is misplaced, perhaps it should be moved to newcomers?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 5,276
Originally Posted by abultra30 
Once you stop drinking.drugging etc, your probelms do not go away magically,
You just have to deal with them sober.
You just have to deal with them sober.
Wishing the best for you, abultra!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
I am grateful for Rule #62....front and center.
I am grateful for finding humor in ridicules-ness.
I am grateful for "putting on my big-girl panties" and just dealing with life's ups and downs....and believe me some weeks there are a LOT of Downs....with a capitol D.
I dug myself into a big hole in just 3 months of heavy, heavy drinking...(including hair loss)...and I dug myself OUT of it by wanting to be sober....so HAH!..yes, things did improve.
I am grateful for finding humor in ridicules-ness.
I am grateful for "putting on my big-girl panties" and just dealing with life's ups and downs....and believe me some weeks there are a LOT of Downs....with a capitol D.
I dug myself into a big hole in just 3 months of heavy, heavy drinking...(including hair loss)...and I dug myself OUT of it by wanting to be sober....so HAH!..yes, things did improve.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
My experience is that my life now is so much better. Everyone has their own take, experience and so forth but for me oh hell yeah it is night and day.
No unicorns and rainbows going on here but I am in control of how I look at life, live it and I couldn't have given myself a greater gift.
Just being sober didn't change my thinking and I remember going....why bother. Yeah I don't have the nonsense in my life that I did when I was drunk all the time but I still feel lousy.
When I started face to face support, opened myself up and really began to change....well I got my self-esteem, drive and positive attitude back! Those for me were the things that no amount of money, pats on the back or sunny days could give me. I worked for it that is for darn sure and am still doing it. So yeah....the changes within me have allowed me to fully enjoy this life again and I with 100% certainty can say the life I live now have changed for the better.
I am grateful for every day I live now.
No unicorns and rainbows going on here but I am in control of how I look at life, live it and I couldn't have given myself a greater gift.
Just being sober didn't change my thinking and I remember going....why bother. Yeah I don't have the nonsense in my life that I did when I was drunk all the time but I still feel lousy.
When I started face to face support, opened myself up and really began to change....well I got my self-esteem, drive and positive attitude back! Those for me were the things that no amount of money, pats on the back or sunny days could give me. I worked for it that is for darn sure and am still doing it. So yeah....the changes within me have allowed me to fully enjoy this life again and I with 100% certainty can say the life I live now have changed for the better.
I am grateful for every day I live now.
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