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Old 10-11-2016, 10:41 PM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 39

Girlfriend will not leave me alone

hi. Sorry for the panic.

I am just back from rehab and my girlfriend of 4 months decided she wants to come over basically every night and see me.

I've always been more of an introvert (with or without the "disease") but now it's like she is using the "disease" as an excuse to see me. I get that she missed me during inpatient but I feel trapped and also smothered.

She also doesn't have a home of her own, it's either her mother's house or my apartment which is very small.

I feel a little manipulated into sharing it with her after only 4 months when my recovery is on the line and I'm trying to get to meetings.

When I tell her I need space to get to meetings she says "well then, we can just take a break," like that's so dramatic! or she says, "well i can just hang out at your house."

I don't know why but after 4 months i'm not comfortable with someone just hanging out at my house.

i really love her and want to be with her. But I am confused

is it the disease that is making me feel like I want to run for the hills or who I am??

Augustine (yes, a gay woman)

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Old 01-17-2017, 09:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi Augustine,

This is a late response but I just saw your post. I think it's 100% normal for you to want a little space after getting out of rehab; esp if you're in a new relationship.

If your gf really loves you (and wants to be at your house for the right reasons), she will (and should!) understand that. Your sobriety is your main focus!

How are things going?
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Old 12-18-2017, 10:35 PM   #3 (permalink)

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I agree, sounds like she is seeking your attention after being away from you for 4 months. I think its natural for you to feel like you need your space, I was told by my GF when she had her relapse too. Somehow I thought I could "help" her with her recovery but I ended up smothering her and she had to tell me this.
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